Is it worth it?

[Serenahikaru]

My dysphoria has kicked me down quite a bit when I noticed I was taller than my sister now, but it sort of brought up a thought. I havent been here in a while, but I wanted to get some opinions. Is transitioning it? Seems like dying is just easier if you can get over the fear of it. Even if u manage to have a smooth transition, you've usually lost at least 18 or so years of your life, which is your precious childhood. Happiness obviously isn't guaranteed for everyone in addition to that. So I have to wonder now if It is really worth it?

As a disclaimer, The thought of suicide has always been in the back of my mind, but I'm not suicide. So no worries about that.

[Doreen]

I 'transitioned' if you want to use that word in my early 20's. I'm 44 now..  I'm far far happier now than I was back then. Sure life has been full of bumps and curves, but then its that way for cis too.  I choose to see the light ahead and refuse to see the deep dark shadow left behind.  That's just the approach I take, and I'm far better for it. 

Besides you never know what you may find out about yourself! Life is full of interesting mysteries.  You can't find out more if you kill yourself.. then its all over.  Life is far too short anyways as it is, why make it end too soon? 

Just my 2 cents, because its worked for me.

My dysphoria has kicked me down quite a bit when I noticed I was taller than my sister now, but it sort of brought up a thought. I havent been here in a while, but I wanted to get some opinions. Is transitioning it? Seems like dying is just easier if you can get over the fear of it. Even if u manage to have a smooth transition, you've usually lost at least 18 or so years of your life, which is your precious childhood. Happiness obviously isn't guaranteed for everyone in addition to that. So I have to wonder now if It is really worth it?

As a disclaimer, The thought of suicide has always been in the back of my mind, but I'm not suicide. So no worries about that.

[Dena]

I completed my transition at age 30 and I am now 66 years old. I have had 36 great years and you could have so many more even if you wait a few years to start your transition. Procrastinating is the worst obstacle to your happiness and if you start your transition, those 18 years could quickly become a fading memory. To answer your question, yes it was worth all the time and money I put into it.

[Katie Jade]

Yes it is.


I'm 55  and had your thoughts for half a century but now I am transitioning I would never ever think of the 'easy' option again. Just realise its your life and no one has any right to how you want to live it. Just be careful as there are a few stupid morons out there, keep to populated and light areas and you will be OK when you eventually go out as yourself. God bless (if you believe) and just be yourself, that's what everyone else does anyway. And the only one who cares is yourself in reality - no one else does as they are busy with their lives.
You are not alone.
Hugz
Katie

[EllenJ2003]

Was transitioning worth it for me?  You bet!!!  Life always has its hassles (you can't avoid them), and I do have my ups and downs, but I think I'm a much better person than I was back in the Before Time (late 1998 and earlier), when I was only one of two things - angry (especially in a combative manner) or sad.  Besides the fact that transitioning kept me alive (yeah, I was in a pretty dark and suicidal place by late 1998), I feel much more empathy for others, I'm much happier, and spiritual to boot!  I see colors, whereas everything in the Before Time looked bland and washed out.  It wasn't easy to make it to the end of the journey (for me, SRS), due to a lack of money, but I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.  Transitioning was definitely the best thing I've ever done.

Transitioning had a majorly positive effect on my life.  If you kill yourself, you could miss out on all of the positives that transitioning could possibly contribute to your life.   

[Jessica_Rose]

I am 55 and transitioned two months ago. The time between making my decision and the week I transitioned was the most frightening period of my life, but it was also the most rewarding. When I began this journey I had no idea if anyone would still accept me, but I knew the anger and rage growing inside would eventually lead to a bad ending. I had to take the leap. So far I have been extremely fortunately, I have not lost any friends nor have I been rejected by any relatives. My wife struggled with this for many months, but she is still by my side and our relationship is now better than ever. I am also at peace. It was easily the best decision I ever made.

[JudiBlueEyes]

I don't know how tall you are but when you're out shopping take a look at how many tall women there are.  More than you realize.  I'm 6ft and don't wear heels often but I am never the tallest girl when I am out and about.  Is it worth it?  I would say so.  I started late and am 64 now and aside from a few concerns I wish I had done this years ago.  You haven't lost 18 years, they are still there full of experiences.  It was just your alter ego that enjoyed them.  Move forward like there is no tomorrow.  There is a full life ahead of you.  Enjoy! 

[Devlyn]

My dysphoria has kicked me down quite a bit when I noticed I was taller than my sister now, but it sort of brought up a thought. I havent been here in a while, but I wanted to get some opinions. Is transitioning it? Seems like dying is just easier if you can get over the fear of it. Even if u manage to have a smooth transition, you've usually lost at least 18 or so years of your life, which is your precious childhood. Happiness obviously isn't guaranteed for everyone in addition to that. So I have to wonder now if It is really worth it?

As a disclaimer, The thought of suicide has always been in the back of my mind, but I'm not suicide. So no worries about that.

Pro tip: I don't fear dying, I'm at the stage of my life where I know I'm closer to it than ever before...as we all are. 

My life as it is now, living in the full glory of who I know myself to be, is worth more than any distant memories of a naïve childhood. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Serenahikaru]

Thank you all for telling me about your lives. ^^ I enjoyed reading them and it erased my doubts. I hope I'll also be able to speak from a large amount of experience and wisdom once I'm older.

I don't know how tall you are but when you're out shopping take a look at how many tall women there are.  More than you realize.  I'm 6ft and don't wear heels often but I am never the tallest girl when I am out and about.  Is it worth it?  I would say so.  I started late and am 64 now and aside from a few concerns I wish I had done this years ago.  You haven't lost 18 years, they are still there full of experiences.  It was just your alter ego that enjoyed them.  Move forward like there is no tomorrow.  There is a full life ahead of you.  Enjoy!

Last I checked, I was about 5'6 so I guess I'd be an inch or 2 higher. Unfortunate since I really liked my height. I also just hate feeling tall. I have noticed there are some pretty tall girls though, also I like your view of an alter ego.

[Jessica_Rose]

I am 6ft 1in. After transitioning when I noticed someone looking at me I wondered if they knew. Now I just assume they are looking at me because I am tall.

We are a sum of our experiences. I was happy with who I had become, but the piles of baggage full of anger and rage had gotten too heavy for me to carry. Transitioning has allowed me to leave those bags behind yet keep my experiences intact. I remember the anger and rage, and how it affected my life, but they have been left at the boarding gate and will not be allowed to accompany me on the rest of my journey. I do not miss them.

[Doreen]

I am 6ft 1in. After transitioning when I noticed someone looking at me I wondered if they knew. Now I just assume they are looking at me because I am tall.

We are a sum of our experiences. I was happy with who I had become, but the piles of baggage full of anger and rage had gotten too heavy for me to carry. Transitioning has allowed me to leave those bags behind yet keep my experiences intact. I remember the anger and rage, and how it affected my life, but they have been left at the boarding gate and will not be allowed to accompany me on the rest of my journey. I do not miss them.

Ya when they say things like 'Wow your legs go on for miles', 'How tall are you if you don't me asking', or 'Did you play basketball?'... Its definitely a height thing and not a "pass" thing.  Just little experiences I've noticed over the decades.

[EllenJ2003]

Thank you all for telling me about your lives. ^^ I enjoyed reading them and it erased my doubts. I hope I'll also be able to speak from a large amount of experience and wisdom once I'm older.
Last I checked, I was about 5'6 so I guess I'd be an inch or 2 higher. Unfortunate since I really liked my height. I also just hate feeling tall. I have noticed there are some pretty tall girls though, also I like your view of an alter ego.

Don't worry about your height, you're fine.  My sister is taller than you at 5' 7".  I'm 5'9", and my height has never been an issue for me passing-wise, even when I've worn 3" heels.  I've run into plenty of women over 6 feet tall.  One of the women who works at my favorite supermarket is around 6' 3".

[Jessica_Rose]

In April I went down to Louisiana to tell my family that I had transitioned, they were just about the last group of people I told. I was paying for some merchandise and a 20-something male behind us looked at me, then looked at my wife and asked 'Is she 6 foot?' I replied 'Yes, I am 6ft 1in'. Then he asked 'Did you play basketball?' That made my day. It was the first time I knew that a complete stranger (not counting restaurant or store employees) had gendered me as a woman!

Back to the original question, is it worth it? For me, I have no doubts about my decision. None of us knows how much time we have left on the earth, and there is no reason we should have to spend it being anything other than our true selves. When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror and smiled? To be honest I don't ever remember that happening before my transition. Now it happens almost every time I look in the mirror. I still cannot believe what I have done, but it makes me smile every time.

[yayo]

I know people who can't escape the first 18 years of their life. THAT was their peak, so they live in the past. Which is kind of sad if you think about. The past has value, but I wouldn't call it precious. The present is precious. Just because you transition doesn't mean you have to erase the good stuff.

That said, for a lot of transgender people, the time before transition is painful to look back on. There isn't much to speak of between 0-17, for me. At 23, all these years in transition, I can't say that it's always easy. But it has little to do with who I was before because I don't think of that time that often.

And all things considered, I think I'm happier than I ever could have been had I tried to live as a man.

[KathyLauren]

I transitioned a year ago, at age 62.  Knowing that I had already lived at least 2/3 of my life in the wrong gender role, and that the best I could hope for was to live the last 1/3 as myself, I have to answer your question "Is it worth it?" with not just yes, but hell, yes!  After only a year, those first 62 years are already fading in my memory.

It is like slogging up a mountain to the summit.  It is a huge effort, and it takes a lot of planning and maybe some help.  This mountain of mine was a particularly long, difficult one.  But I made it!  I have planted my flag on the summit of transition.  Now, I get to enjoy the view.

Sure, falling off a cliff on the way up would have been easier.  But then I wouldn't have gotten to live my dream.

[noleen111]

Yes, its so worth it.

I started hormones at 21, I am now 29. It feels like my life began at 21. I am a very happy well adjusted woman. I got my vagina installed at 25, and now cant imagine my life as a man anymore.

I went from a shy in my shell kind of a guy to a outgoing life of the party woman. I actually have a close circle of friends and something I never thought I would ever get to be... a bride. I am very happily married to my husband. I got married recently.

My mother said to me on my wedding day.  When I was born never in her wildest dreams , did she imagine that she would be helping me get into a wedding dress on my wedding day. She was extremely happy for me and a proud mother of the bride. My something borrowed was her garter from her wedding day, it was also my something blue..

[Sarah_P]

It is so worth it. I transitioned last year at 42. For 10 years I told myself I couldn't do it, and both my height and age we're among the the excuses I used to bring myself down. Hrt has made me feel physically and mentally better than I've ever felt in my entire life. I've discovered just how amazing some of my friends and coworkers are, despite knowing them for years. I've made so many wonderful new friends. I started dating again for the first time in 20 years, and am now in a relationship with an amazing woman that I love dearly (And somehow she loves me, too).

I still worried about my height for the first couple months of transition (I'm 6'1"), but one of my closest friends is a cis woman that's only 1" shorter than me (except when she wears heels!). There's also a couple women who come into my workplace that are 2 or 3 inches taller than me. You're not too tall at all.