This is difficult to describe.
I'm partial to classically feminine attire; but I've put off buying dresses, for the most part, because I haven't met my weight-loss goals. When I do, I'm going to go absolutely nuts; but, until then, it's largely jeans and slacks for me.
A few days ago, a friend gifted me a dress from her closet. It's sleeveless, which I always thought would be a problem for me; but she's something of a style guru, and she knew it would be perfect for me. She was right; it is.
Over the last two days, I've been wearing it at every opportunity; and I've noticed that people respond to me differently than they did previously, even people who know me. Wearing girl's pants and tops, even having breasts, is one thing; but wearing a dress crossed a line. Has anyone else noticed this?
I'm not saying this change is negative; the truth is, it's about the same as people's reaction to my simply wearing makeup and casual girl clothes -- but it's more intense, and at the same time it's more profound: deeper, more foundational. I love it. Someone I used to work for saw me in the dress yesterday, and there was a look on her face I'd never seen before -- very positive, glowing. A male cashier at the grocery store spoke to me in a friendly manner and it was completely friendly, gentle and unforced.
But all that is preface. It was while I was at the grocery store that I realized I was floating as I pushed my cart down the aisle. Not in the sense of euphoria or elation, but in the sense of peace -- I was on another level of contentment, untroubled. I hestitate to call it serenity, because it didn't feel like what I've always felt as serenity; but the word does describe where I was. I was conscious of myself, but I wasn't "self-conscious." I simply was, and I floated down the aisle.
Something wonderful happened today. I have a magic dress.
