Intro!

[Lisac0924]

Hello! I'm new here and thought I would introduce myself

My name is Lisa. My husband is trans gender. (MTF)

We have a 3 year old son together, and he has a 12 year old son from a previous relationship that lives with us also.

He begins HRT next month and I am scared out of my mind.

I am hoping to gain some friends and find some support here


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[Drexy/Drex]

Well welcome I'm sure you will find what you need here😊

[Michelle_P]

Welcome To Susan's Place, Lisa!

You've found our Significant Others forum, a special place where spouses of transitioning persons can find support and answers to their questions.  This forum is a safe place for you to ask and answer questions on the subject of your spouse's transition.

As someone who has transitioned, I know this can be a scary time for both of you, with worries about what the future may hold.  Support here can help, of course, as can keeping communications between the two of you as open as possible.  This is a journey that both of you are embarking on, and I do sincerely wish you two nothing but the best possible outcomes for both of you.

I've added some links and information below that can help you get more out of our site. Please take time to become familiar with them especially the RED one as we are always getting questions that are answered there.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	Cautionary Note	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

[HappyMoni]

Hi Lisa,
   Thank you for coming here and  posting. I am not a significant other, but I have stayed with my partner after my transition and we are making it work. I can only imagine how scary this might be for you. If I can be of help, I would be happy to. There some very nice significant other posters who I suspect might be along soon. Anyway, Welcome!
Moni

[Northern Star Girl]

Hello! I'm new here and thought I would introduce myself
My name is Lisa. My husband is trans gender. (MTF)
We have a 3 year old son together, and he has a 12 year old son from a previous relationship that lives with us also.
He begins HRT next month and I am scared out of my mind.
I am hoping to gain some friends and find some support here
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Lisa: So that many of the members will know that you are a new member here, and therefore you will receive more give and take ... and sharing experiences, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to tell the members here about yourself!

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.... and be certain to look at the informative and helpful LINKS about Susan's Place that @Michelle_P included at the bottom of her welcome message to you.

Danielle

[Sylvia]

Hi Lisa

Welcome from me, I am a SO too and my partner is looking to start HRT soon We also have 2 kids (teenage) but he doesn't want to go public or for them to know. We have to see what changes occur from the HRT.

I have spent most of the time since I found out in a total state of fear, denial, anger and indescribable sadness, with occasional moments of acceptance in between, which, with time, are getting more and more. I do know how you feel. I would still give anything in the world for this not to be happening, but it is, so I have to learn to accept and support my partner, as I love him dearly and couldn't imagine a life without him, whatever packaging he comes in!

The first thing I'll ask, is are you both having therapy? That really helps a lot, including couples therapy. This will not only help your husband work out where/what he is on the gender spectrum (and there is a spectrum), and will help you to work through your feelings too.

I also cannot emphasise highly enough how important open and honest communication is between the two of you. I only found out about my partner after a couple of years of secret cross dressing. He was too scared to tell me. You both need to talk and share your emotions. Don't hide from him how you are feeling, and neither should he hide things from you - good and bad. My partner and I have found a new closeness through all this, which is one positive.

What is your husband planning? Has he come out socially yet to anyone? Is he planning to? Does he want to have surgery eventually?

I would also advise taking things as slowly as possible on your husband's part. It needs to be at a pace that you are both ok with.

I will PM you too.

Syl

[gallinarosa]

Hi Lisa, welcome aboard.

I am also a wife of a MtF. We've been married over 20 years and have two school-aged kids.

My spouse is moving along very slowly and has not decided to do anything permanent or publicly visible yet. It has been helpful to me that it is going slowly because the news was quite unexpected when I found out last year.

I think Sylvia said everything I could think of. It is going to be all about communication, therapy, pacing, open-mindedness, soul-searching, and kindness for awhile. There is no one "right" way to proceed and nothing is inevitable.

Feel free to reach out at anytime. We all have to be here for each other.
Hugs <3

[Dashbe87]

Hi Lisa!

I am a wife to a trans feminine lady and we have three young children together (5, 3, 1.5). Our situation is slightly different in that I'm not the one with fears around starting HRT. Instead she is the one with fears/anxieties that keep popping up and it is usually the same things that keep going around in circles. I do have to say though that the realisation that she is trans was probably less of a surprise to me than it was to her on some levels.

We spend a LOT of time talking through our thoughts and feelings and she has learnt to call me even when she's at work and these anxieties begin to flare up because talking them out stops them from seeming like an insurmountable certainty. Communication has always been a big part of how our relationship works so this comes fairly easily to us. I would definitely recommend talking to your partner about how you are feeling. If they are seeing a gender therapist it may be helpful to see if you can have a session together. I know my wife's psychologist has offered to do this if I'm feeling a bit uncertain about things. I suggest the gender therapist rather than a regular couple's counsellor to begin with because they specialise in these issues and can offer a different perspective to someone who is used to dealing with other issues. By all means though, a regular couple's counsellor would definitely help to get the ball rolling with talking out your feelings together if you are finding it difficult to articulate on your own.

Transitioning can be a big and scary process for everyone - significant others included. We are all here to support and encourage each other. I think you'll find lots of people who have either dealt with the same worries or are still working through them. Don't be afraid to reach out!

[Saha]

Hi Lisa,

  I am SO to a wonderful MtoF lady, and she is in the middle of transition.  It is going pretty smoothly, but I am happy to answer any questions you might have.

[Proudwife]

Hi my name is Jade and I am also new here so here is a bit about mine and my wife's story if that's ok.
I am 34 and she is a 29 year old mtf in the very early stages of her transition ie still waiting to be seen by the gender identity clinic and we have been together for two years next week she came out to me as wearing woman's clothes six months into the relationship which if I am honest I already sort of knew but didn't want to scare her by asking outright.
It was late last summer just over a year into our relationship that she told me she wanted to transition I was scared I thought it ment that she wanted to be with a guy but here we are still together and riding this crazy roller coaster that is transitioning I won't lie sometimes I feel all the usual emotions anger grief sadness why us etc etc.
I have found it hard to find support as a significant other I guess that people tend to focus more on the person that is transitioning but in reality I need the support as I am also transitioning with her and helping her to be the beautiful strong amazing woman she was always ment to be.
Yes some days I do mess up with pronouns and find myself quickly correcting myself and then being annoyed at myself I do not see her as male anymore and I also find it hard when she has to visit certain people in male mode or when people do not use her chosen name which is absolutely beautiful like her but still choose to use her male name.
Sorry I will stop rambling now and I look forward to talking to all of you and sharing our story's all the good bad and ugly and also sharing our key moments on our crazy roller coaster journey m

[Northern Star Girl]

Hello Jade (Proudwife), I see that you are new here and have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances. 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with the issues that you brought up in your introduction posting. 

WELCOME to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others about your transition and to read about others transitions and their trials, tribulations, and successes in their transition journey. 
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have a successful moment in your journey you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and get involved at your own pace.  Be sure to look at the Links that I posted below, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle


Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

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[Northern Star Girl]

Dear Jade (Proudwife)  ...and another thing, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum  to let the members here know that you have arrived on Susan's Place.   You will then be more visible to many others that may be able to share their stories about similar issues to your own. 
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle