I couldn't learn make-up from YouTube tutorials either. I've watched plenty of them, but it all seems way too advanced for me and it all goes super-fast.
Anyway: I don't think advanced make-up should be in your current interest. If you haven't had laser or electro hair removal before, you should look up on how to apply basic foundation (make-up) to cover up your beard. This is really easy; if you can't find any proper tutorial for this (be it on YouTube or anywhere else), I could even create my own short written bullet-point tutorial for you on how to do this. :p
The most important part is that the foundation will cover up your beard (after you've had a good shave, obviously). I've done this before I transitioned, and it helped tremendously.
About thinning hair (head):
I've been in this boat as well, and if hormones are not yet an option for you (getting on hormones in some European countries can literally take years sometimes), I would suggest getting on finasteride. This works similarly to testosterone-blockers, but they block just enough so that you will keep the hair you still have. I also had a lot of good hair regrowth when on finasteride. Getting on finasteride should not be much of a hassle. The health-insurance will not cover this though (speaking as a European), since you don't have any diagnosis yet, but trust me when I say it's worth it until you get on hormones (depending on how bad the thinning is, and how fast you can get on hormones).
About dressing up as a woman:
I feel this really depends on who you are as a person. Some want to express themselves as a girly-girl in all pink, others are more "butch" and don't feel like wearing dresses. Transwomen are just as diverse as biological women, and at no point should you feel restricted by what a woman is "supposed" to look like in your mind (or anyone else's mind for that matter).
Personally, I really like combining a colourful top with a vest since it's easy and it looks stylish and feminine. But again: this is all personal preference.
You should have an objective look at yourself and see what your body's best aspects are, and work with them. If you're tall, don't go for dresses, but go for something more subtle that compliments your frame. If you can't decide on what your body's highlights are, ask a friend to help you out. Ask them how they would best describe you as a person and work off of that. Maybe even go shopping together with said friend. An objective view can do wonders sometimes!
As a sidenote: shawls are awesome! I especially recommend wearing a stylish shawl when you're scared of showing your adam's apple. Stylish
and effective! Double whammy! :p
Whatever you do, don't sulk about this and keep it all bottled up inside. Remember that if you don't express what is bothering you, people cannot assist you. I think that's something a lot of us have learned the hard way.
Phew, look at all that text! I hope you can make some sense out of my comment, and have a lovely day!
