After loving using the forums the past few days as I document my GRS and interact with members, I would like to publicly introduce myself. And tell my story. I am loving this safe space. My name is Serena, I am 28 years old and live in San Diego, CA with my boyfriend Robert (Bobby) who I adore with my whole heart and our two honeygirl kitties Skylar and Scarlett. I have my muscle daddy honey with me here in Scottsdale but missing my fur babies so much.
I am now, as of yesterday a post op woman. I began the process of transition at around age 17 but didn't medically start until I was 19or 20. I was one of those who had incredibly low testosterone from birth and so when I was little the kids could tell that I was different. I didn't look totally like a girl, just too pretty and dainty and smooth and curvy to be a boy. In my late teens and very early 20's I was very androgynous glam always wearing girls clothes , a full face with lashes, I had my lips and cheeks done and Botox, I wore heels and I wore dread extensions down to my ass. Being sleeved with tattoos brought the look together as edgy and gender->-bleeped-<- and I have to remember that this is before the Instagram boy Beat Generation although I had long past that look. I graduated from Paul Mitchell in downtown San Diego, started my career, kept searching for myself.
I'd always been very depressed and anxious although being a Gemini no one could tell how much I was tormented. I became addicted to opiates and benzos and eventually wound up in rehab which was the best thing to ever happen to me. With all that sedation I was not stronger than the fear of telling the world who I truly was. With my body and spirit stripped of those mind numbing chemicals, I was so raw with self awareness I immediately began to get the ball rolling and told everyone. I started hormones and changed my name and gender marker within a month.
My first injection of estradiol made me feel more alive than ever before. I injected it and instantaneously felt a surge and wave of balance. The neurotransmitters in my brain started rewiring themselves. My brain seemed clear and focused and for the first time in my life i felt like life was worth living. My thoughts became more clear. I could understand myself for the first time in my life. I accepted that there had been a massive imbalance in my endocrine system for 20 years that drove me to the point of agoraphobia at times. I felt new, alive, and beautiful.
At that time I left my life as a hairstylist in La Jolla and became an Escort, which I had done on and off for a few years. In my new body much more resembling me, I quickly became one of Southern California's top girls, especially being the only Caucasian blonde in all of San Diego. I worked hard and held my head up, didn't allow anyone to disrespect me or my body, I was in charge. I collected my coins, built my life back up after being in treatment, got my life together, bought a car, got my breasts done, then a rhinoplasty/septoplasty and trachael shave with Dr Sajjadian in Newport Beach. With the hormones having full effect without the other prescription drugs I felt alive for the first time.
Escorting was great. I got amazing gifts, Chanel purses, Mercedes Benz car, trips all over and yet I was beginning to feel the creep of dead inside. All of these clients who wanted my body so badly wanted the hyper feminine aesthetic, but with TS comes a dick. Mine obviously wasn't fully functional and it always disgusted me and it began to wear on me. My anxiety was at an all time high. I started to take Xanax again. And then my life changed in a split second as soon as he looked in my eyes.
I was at a club with some friends in Hillcrest in San Diego, a club that no longer exists called the Brass Rail. I was outside on the smoking patio and felt the presence of a man standing behind me. Being so accustomed to being approached by straight men in the gay part of town was not something remotely new to me so I sighed and made him wait for like 10 minutes. Finally I turned around and he introduced himself, hi, I'm Bobby, I was driving by on my way to north park to meet some friends, and I saw you standing out here and I don't know I just parked my car because I felt like I had to meet you. Our eyes met and we could both feel this cosmic psychic pull and understanding and lust my mind was totally ->-bleeped-<-ed. This guy was super sexy. Just my type. Muscular 5'11" and Persian. My favorite. We fell in love right away. We couldn't get enough of each other. He is the ultra masculine with Iranian macho culture where he's always been one to dominate others. He is hyper sexual and had so many girls in his life that he says he evolved past. He has always loved TS as Full Top Only and he tells me he had been praying for a tall white blonde TS girl who would fully transition. He says that when he was driving Something told me it was me. Him as a well known charmer in the downtown San Diego scene it took him a minute to feel comfortable with openly being with a TS girl. Once he made the decision, he has been proud even going to the point of saying how many people we are educating. All these downtown party people who have never encountered it, especially from this guy everybody is in love with because he's so smart and kind and charming and sexy and masculine. I think it was shocking but boy does he own it, which most people dont know or ask. At first the news spread like wildfire. But he accepted that part of himself and I'm so proud of him for that and he loves to show me off.
Flash forward almost two years of living together and overall so happy. Day two of GRS for me.
He is snoozing on the pullout in my room at greenbaum hospital. I have never felt so good about my life in all my 28 years. It feels good to be Honest about my transition. I've never wrote it down before or seen it looking right back at me. I have a little more clarity now and a lot more peace. Thank you for reading if you did. My hope was to be open an honest about my journey. I look forward to interacting with you ladies. Thank you for being so welcoming!
XX Serena
Excited about this new day of healing.
