Total acceptance from Significant Other

[Rachel_Christina]

Hey all! I'm curious about the rate of total acceptance for us when we come out from our partners?
I would make a poll but I haven't a clue how to do that.
So I'm wondering who has experienced total acceptance?

For me I came out to my GF after 3 years of being together. It was the perfect night to do it after a beautiful dinner and a bottle of fizz I had gotten early in the week for fixing a friend's car. We went to bed early that night. It had been eating me up for the past 3 months to actually say it, and then finally it just popped out. Probably the alcohol gave me the added courage, or stupidity to finally say it. But since I came out it has been total acceptance, it has not faltered in any way. She found my psychiatrist my Endo, herbal hormones while I was waiting. Taught me to do makeup style myself, hair and clothes and everything. Proud to tell people about me if its relevant and stuff. We've been together for 2 years since I came out. It has been even better since. 💕

[KathyLauren]

Total acceptance here. 

When I came out to my wife, one of the first things she said to me was "Whatever you decide to do, I will support you."  It doesn't get any better than that.

She has been true to her word, and I have had nothing but support.  She takes me clothes shopping and gives me fashion advice.  She has invited me along on her hair appointments to have her stylist trim the bangs on my wigs.  She has never slipped up on my name or pronouns, even while I was still getting used to using them.

I rejoice every time I read a post from someone who has the same level of support that I do.

[Rachel_Christina]

It truly is amazing. It still dumb founds me to this day.

[Sabrina Hope]

You are so lucky. My wife don't want to see me anymore and my 10 and 11 children too. I loose almost all my friends. So I am alone now. Also my wife try to make me feel guilty everyday I chat with her. I know I had to do it anyway. But yesterday I felt bad, even thinking if it worth it to come out and be myself. I hope today it will be better day.

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[Chelsea]

Total acceptance for me also.
I waited 10 years to tell my GF because I was terrified of loosing her. Finally I just could not wait anymore. I also told her about the herbs I had took for 2.5 years. She told me that I need to be happy so lets do it, and that she will support me all the way. I never expected it to go this way but I am happy to say me and her are closer now than we ever was before. I am so lucky to have her and like you say Rachel, its still hard to wrap my head around it.


Hugs,
       Chelsea

[Katie Ellen]

100% support here. Told her about dressing before marriage 26 years ago. It's just slowly progressed to current status (starting transition). She's never wavered.

[Stevi]

dizz,

My heart aches for you for what you said in your post.  Based on your avatar, you look very pretty.  I hope you find a way to make it work out for yourself.  I have a little taste of the rejection that you have experienced.  That little taste was almost more than I could bare so I can imagine the magnitude of the hurt it has done to you.  All I can say is that we, all of us, are here to help you march onward.

Stevi

[Stevi]

I am relatively fortunate.  My wife took it hard.  After a break-in period she, reluctantly supports.  She does things for Stevi but she really would rather not any of this was in her life.  In the past, when things were going badly for us and I wavered in my resolve, she made comments to me along the lines of "I will not stop you from doing this if it is what you need to do."  Sounds supportive but often feels like an "I'll help you do this but I really don't like it and you are making me miserable but don't mind me and my needs."  She doesn't convey any sense that she is the least bit happy that I am doing what I need to do.

Last night was a bit of a bad night so I am a bit down this morning and that may be part of the reason my tone is negative.  Most of the time, things go well for us.  We usually have a good time and life is pretty good.   I know she is struggling with a lot of things and this bail of straw has not made life easier for her.  She doesn't stop my progress.  I am going more slowly than I would like, for her sake, but, I am moving forward.  She has difficulty with using my new name and proper pronouns.  She tries but I think, by now, she could do better.  I understand that she has her outlook on the way things should be.  I just have this sense she cannot or doesn't want to let go of the old and embrace the new.

Verdict:  50% supportive

Stevi

[sarah1972]

Your description is a very good match of our situation, including me trying to slow things down to make getting used to it easier for her.

Down to an odd pronoun situation yesterday: we bumped into a family from our kids Daycare and while talking she referred to me as "she" and immediately corrected herself to "he" while I was standing next to her in a skirt. A bit awkward for me.

I would classify 55% supportive.

I am relatively fortunate.  My wife took it hard.  After a break-in period she, reluctantly supports.  She does things for Stevi but she really would rather not any of this was in her life.  In the past, when things were going badly for us and I wavered in my resolve, she made comments to me along the lines of "I will not stop you from doing this if it is what you need to do."  Sounds supportive but often feels like an "I'll help you do this but I really don't like it and you are making me miserable but don't mind me and my needs."  She doesn't convey any sense that she is the least bit happy that I am doing what I need to do.

Last night was a bit of a bad night so I am a bit down this morning and that may be part of the reason my tone is negative.  Most of the time, things go well for us.  We usually have a good time and life is pretty good.   I know she is struggling with a lot of things and this bail of straw has not made life easier for her.  She doesn't stop my progress.  I am going more slowly than I would like, for her sake, but, I am moving forward.  She has difficulty with using my new name and proper pronouns.  She tries but I think, by now, she could do better.  I understand that she has her outlook on the way things should be.  I just have this sense she cannot or doesn't want to let go of the old and embrace the new.

Verdict:  50% supportive

Stevi

[Tommi]

I met my wife 20 or more years ago, in a goth club. Probably wearing a skirt and corset. At the time I thought I was non-binary. A year ago, I came out to her as tg, and she has been my rock. Except for cheating, or abuse, we always say "no matter what!"
She does not have total understanding, but she gives total support - which wasn't so easy the first few months. She helps me in so many ways, makeup, hair, clothes, mannerisms and considers herself as not a lesbian, but rather "Tommisexual."
We have our, mostly hormone relayed, fights and stuff - but as I hit puberty and she hits menopause, that's to be expected.
I was so scared I would lose her when I came out, but she has been amazing, as we travel this road, together.
I am very appreciative of her, and what we have. My heart aches for all of the people going through this stuff and their family and friends don't find ways to accept them.
I am one lucky lady!

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[barbie]

I came out about 15 years ago. Initially, my wife did not accept it very well.

But nowadays, most people accept me, and my wife is very supportive of me.
When my little daughter asks questions about my wearing skirts and makeup, my wife answers them very well.

As long as I take care of my family well, my wife and friends respect me.

barbie~~

[MollyPants]

I told my partner after a night of working up the courage by walking downstairs in a dress. I did write a letter, but I'm glad I didn't do it like that. It was the most nerve-racking thing but I am so glad I did it. There were tears on both sides and it took us some time to adjust. She is really supportive of everything and has only one red line which is not the end of the world. She's also very honest when she's finding it difficult which is actually quite good because I can support her as well.

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[Susan Baum]

Rachel Christina, you have been blessed. 

In 1976, I came out as CD to my love before our relationship really began to blossom into serious dating and, eventually, marriage. I have told the story many times, but it was she who named me Susan and coached me in all things feminine, from hair and make up, to refining mannerisms (dang, it was hard to learn to sit with knees together) and clothes.

She also sensed my unease when in my male persona and knew before I had even realized it that CDing just wasn't enough anymore and started the conversations that led to treatment and eventually led me to where I am today.

For those with children, I never hid from our daughter who always called me either "Daddy" or "Mama S." depending on what I was wearing and my transition to full-time was a total non-event to her or her friends that knew me; to the outside world, however, it was a different story...

Hold your life mate closely; let her share your journey.

Hugs
Susan

[Charlie Nicki]

Hi ladies,

Just wanted to say that it is refreshing to see so many positive stories. Glad things worked out for you.

[Rachel_Christina]

It is great to hear so many great stories, but also so sad to see so many sad stories:/
I really do realise how fortunate I am.
I also feel a little bad for making this post if it brings a negative wave over some of us (sorry).I hope the positive stories can atleast help those hoping to come out in the future.
Though I don't think anything should hold one from living their life to the absolute fullest.

[Sabrina Hope]

dizz,

My heart aches for you for what you said in your post.  Based on your avatar, you look very pretty.  I hope you find a way to make it work out for yourself.  I have a little taste of the rejection that you have experienced.  That little taste was almost more than I could bare so I can imagine the magnitude of the hurt it has done to you.  All I can say is that we, all of us, are here to help you march onward.

IStevi

Thanks Stevi for being supportive. I forgot to sign my post as Sabrina. [emoji4] I have being through many bad things in the past years including suicide attempt, mutilation, being abuse physically and mentally. I am still there and now nothing will stop me and I have nothing else to loose. Today is a better day. My brother wrote me an email after more than one year without communication. I replied with all the truth and he said No problem sister, I want you to be happy. [emoji3]

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[Stevi]

Sabrina,

We all get "better days", at least once in a while, and I am pleased you got one to come your way.  People can surprise us sometimes, well, often.  I hope your brother connects back up to become a true support for you.

Stevi 

[Charlie Nicki]

Thanks Stevi for being supportive. I forgot to sign my post as Sabrina. [emoji4] I have being through many bad things in the past years including suicide attempt, mutilation, being abuse physically and mentally. I am still there and now nothing will stop me and I have nothing else to loose. Today is a better day. My brother wrote me an email after more than one year without communication. I replied with all the truth and he said No problem sister, I want you to be happy. [emoji3]

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That's so sweet!

[Tatiana 79]

Hello Rachel and everyone after reading through everyone's stories I feel Beyond blessed for my situation and sorry for those lacking support from their SO. It must be incredibly difficult going through transition without support though I believe it will leave you with a little tougher hide. I have been with my wife for 38 years and she is the only woman I have ever been with due to my awkwardness with women in high school. She pursued me After High School and how could I resist a stunning little blond with awesome features. She's a punk rocker that looks half her age and shows her individualism and rebellious nature against the norm. Right now we're sitting together with all these colors in her beautiful blond hair and tight zebra bodysuit accented with many colors. We can just sit here and talk most of the day about anything and I can honestly say I've never been closer and feel that we have opened a new chapter in our very close relationship. She always sticks up for the underdog and believes everyone should live their lives freely. I would probably rate her at 100+. She is against the vanilla Norm sheep in our society as she maintains her rebellious nature from youth. Without her I would be nothing and wouldn't be here right now. She really wants me to live free and we do all kinds of crazy stuff but she's literally encouraging me for transition to live free. She does everything for me buys clothes cosmetics everything and taught me how to use them through many years and I can live completely free as I want but she knows that I need to take the next step. I feel that I've got the one in a million and am more Head Over Heels in love than ever. I could talk about her forever. we are both looking forward to this new beginning very much as I transition she will too in a way and we are very much looking to the Future for our new lives together living totally free in our dream Paradise. I wish everyone could experience this level of support because this is the closest thing to Magic I've ever experienced.  Best wishes to everyone love. Tatiana

[Anne Blake]

My partner and I share full acceptance with our transitions, mine m2f and hers accepting the changes in our lives. She has been supportive from the first steps and continues to this day, which is the day we both bought wedding dresses for recommitting our vows, now wife and wife. We often state that at this point in our lives we really prefer to live without a man in the house. We also feel bad at times for all of our friends, both cis and trans that do not have this kind of joy in their relationships.