Katie Jade’s stuff

[Northern Star Girl]

@Katie Again
Dear Katie: My Oh my.... you have a lot going on...  I trust that your blood test results come back OK... YES, after you visit your doctor please let us know.

Hmmm, your parents, your brothers and other family....   stay as upbeat as you can while working the issues.
There is an old saying that is so true in situations with family....
      "If life doesn't deal you enough problems you can always count on your own family"

I am hoping that all turns out OK with your 2 sons and their depression issues....  sometimes those kinds of things do not resolve quickly, so bear with it and try to help them as much as you can without blaming yourself.

Ahhh, you stated:

Im doing Fajitas for the boys tea tonight, but I also need to get the yellow/golden fence paint off that seeks to have adhered to various parts of my body. Yes I have been repairing and replacing fencing panels today.

Hmmm, you could leave the yellow/golden paint on your body and perhaps even apply more...
....you could start a new makeup revolution.

Thank you for posting your update....
I am sending positive vibes your way.

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle

[davina61]

Give the boys lots of support, hugs whatever . See you didn't have correct PPE , hope it comes off ok and you don't look like a bad accident with a bottle of self tan!!!!

[Katie Jade]

@Katie Again
Ahhh, you stated:Hmmm, you could leave the yellow/golden paint on your body and perhaps even apply more...
....you could start a new makeup revolution.

Thank you for posting your update....
I am sending positive vibes your way.

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle

Thanks for your quip and warm thoughts Danielle,
I don't think Autumn gold looks good on the skin (too much like a sort of James Bond cliché - Goldfinger I think?) but I would defeatedly try nail varnish that colour.

Yes lots going on at the moment, and a few more issues besides my posts that just need working through, any positive thoughts and wishes always truly gratefully appreciated.

Give the boys lots of support, hugs whatever . See you didn't have correct PPE , hope it comes off ok and you don't look like a bad accident with a bottle of self tan!!!!

Dear Davina, yes of course I hug them as much as possible and they do know that I love them very deeply.
As to correct PPE, I was standing upwind, wearing goggles and started off with my old painting hoodie (keeps it off the hair) but as the sweat started running down my back that got discarded.  My breathing filter seemed to be home to the entire arachnid population of the village so that got binned. I then ended up using the sprayer as a 'paint putter onner' as I had to finish off with a brush anyway. I realise now that it would have been a good picture of me for someone's sweaty gallery... As Ive got to break up all the old panels sometime this week maybe Ill get chance that time, but likely to be in my male gardening/painting kit - they look very oversize now as well (that's the good bit). Lets see...

As to Blood tests (6 months);
T is less than 0.2nmol/L - same as last time  - good
E down to 254 pmol/l - about 30% lower than last time, could explain why I'm not feeling as good as previously.

All other blood tests (they did a full sweep as well) are all good or getting better.

I was going to go and see Davina, but with all this going on, a car to fix, visits to parents and such like, Ive had to cancel it, l will try for next holiday.

Im just too busy at the moment and need to sort things out so I have more time to spend time with the kids when they are around, and to do stuff during the day and especially weekends. This holiday is just full of stuff to do that I wasn't really planning for. Its a poor excuse anyway,,, I must try harder..

Cant complain though really.

Well its getting late so Im off for a hot chocolate before bed, a last tidy up, hang washing up (sons uni clothes..) etc etc

Luv n Hugzz
Katie

 

[pamelatransuk]

Hello Katie

I am glad all your Blood Tests apart from E - the main one obviously - are good. I hope the drop in E is temporary and increases significantly next time.

I am sorry you continue to have potential family problems; I feel for you. I hope the hassle you expect does not happen.

One small piece of comfort - noone wants their children to be depressed but it may be a good sign that that they have taken the initiative to seek medical help about it. So many people suffer in silence with depression and the problem only gets worse and worse. At least they have taken action early.

Lots of hugs to you today

Pamela  xx

[Katie Jade]

Hi Pamela
Thanks for your kind words, they are always appreciated.

Its all fixable so that's what we are focussing on.

Im a bit low at the moment as well, having lost 40 LB last year Ive put 18 back on in the last 4months. Not happy at all about that but I suppose its the HRT. Its making my feet swell a bit so shoes are tight. Not eating a lot at the moment , just don't feel that hungry, the only solid food Ive had today so far has been 2 boiled eggs. Obviously Ive had a coffee, two diet cokes, a pint and a half of water as well. Last nights tea  was mainly eaten by my boys, although I managed to grab a fajita before they were all gobbled up. I will have cauliflower and bacon for tea I hope. I suppose a good nights sleep and I back to my usual bimbling self.

Im off downstairs to get that tea going as its getting on for 7:20 here.

Take care all,

Luv n Hugz

Katie



So,

[Katie Jade]

So just to get my thread back onto me, here is my tea, currently keeping my tummy nice and warm;


So that's;
Cauliflower - steamed with a light cheese sauce
2 well cooked rashers of Bacon (non-smoked thick, Aldi's best)
Roasted pepper filled with diced onions, Lancashire Cheese, and Jalapeno peppers, some ground pepper to suit.
Slice of white bread with butter.

I am definitely full now.

I think Ill post this on the 'what did you eat tonight' thread, its not much to look at but its mine.

That's it folks for another awe inspiring visit to World of Katie,

Luv n Hugz

Katie



(p.s. feeling much more positive now, had long talk with Ex wife on our 40 min fast walk around the village, she is so sweet and helpful)

[Northern Star Girl]

So just to get my thread back onto me, here is my tea, currently keeping my tummy nice and warm;


So that's;
Cauliflower - steamed with a light cheese sauce
2 well cooked rashers of Bacon (non-smoked thick, Aldi's best)
Roasted pepper filled with diced onions, Lancashire Cheese, and Jalapeno peppers, some ground pepper to suit.
Slice of white bread with butter.

I am definitely full now.

I think Ill post this on the 'what did you eat tonight' thread, its not much to look at but its mine.

That's it folks for another awe inspiring visit to World of Katie,

Luv n Hugz

Katie



(p.s. feeling much more positive now, had long talk with Ex wife on out 40 min fast walk around the village, she is so sweet and helpful)

@Katie Again
Dear Katie....   what do you mean that your meal picture" is not much to look" at?.... I think it looks wonderfully delicious.  A very nice presentation the way that you plated it.

Oh and I love cheese sauce on my Cauliflower... and bacon, who doesn't like bacon???  And the way that you prepared the roasted pepper sounds very tasty.

That is very good news about your long talk with your Ex; "sweet and helpful"... be very thankful for that.

Thank you for sharing "another awe inspiring visit to World of Katie."

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Katie Jade]

Todays topic, should I show you my hair growth or not?
Not certain about this one but here goes, 3 pics of my ancient locks that haven't been cut for several months (was pretty short before);







Obviously with my hair loss covered up here it doesn't look too bad, but I will need a grafts or two.

And just to remind you here's me as I normally go out;



I know which one I prefer but will keep on growing it out.

So that's all, I have jobs n stuff to finish now as per previous posts.

Luv n Hugz

Katie



Edit - still not certain so may delete this post...

[Katie Jade]

OK well another day is done. I got bored with cleaning - in particular opening up all my framed glass fronted pictures to clear out all the minute insects that we seem to get this time of the year - note to self in that I need to seal the backs of the pictures. So I went for a drive for a couple of hours - as Katie and my usual hurdle of getting out to the car. That's still an issue for me and it shouldn't be - was easily done after reading the last couple of pages of Alaskan Danielle's thread on 'Positive Mindset...' That just took the edge of my hesitation and I was off. Sod everyone else and what they may or may not think, it doesn't matter anyway, and I do matter, so I did what I wanted. I'm learning and getting there. Still got a lot of barriers to destroy but they are coming down.
So here is a pic of me now in front of my old self built PC. I'm looking at old photos and can see a difference, I smile better now and am looking after myself much better - skin, exercise, mental health, stress, etc (and more focus on food now as well).

Off to an inaugural meeting of a start-up support group on Saturday - did I mention? Ill see what's going on and see if I can help out. Giving a lift to my friend Tina and another TG (I wonder who??), as she is staying at her place this weekend. Should be fun.

Missed my nightly walk tonight as Ex was busy taking eldest son to the local rail station, back to his summer job for a couple of week, then he's back again.
Spent 15 mins on exercise bike instead.
Spare car has been MOT'd as far as the emissions and they are draining diesel out of it that eldest put in, they will complete tomorrow. Eldest knew about but didn't tell us what was wrong when the car refused to start (its Petrol/gas..)... Hopefully it will get through MOT, but Im not sure as there will be a lot of diesel in the exhaust.... Lets see (That car is for kids to learn in and an Emergency one for Ex - and me - if we need, its too low value to lose more value at the moment).
Youngest sons driving lessons (11 for the price of 10) booked so need the car legal.

Enough of stuff anyway.
Anyway  - Here is that pic of me


There we go then, Mojo and self perception restored before meeting with Mum n Dad tomorrow. I still might leave a trace of eyeliner on though... (Im still a little naughty.. )

God bless and good night

Luv n Hugz

Katie

[davina61]

Now where would we be without a bit of naughty. Hope the support group is good, cant find one close to me. Car should be OK for emissions once its hot and exhaust clears, HC might read a bit high . Glad your getting some self belief, do what I do and don't give a fig!!!Its there problem not yours. XXXXXX

[Katie Jade]

Davina

Far from the ramblings of an old dear you are spot on with your comments.

Now where would we be without a bit of naughty. Hope the support group is good, cant find one close to me. Car should be OK for emissions once its hot and exhaust clears, HC might read a bit high . Glad your getting some self belief, do what I do and don't give a fig!!!Its there problem not yours. XXXXXX

Yes hope so - Hydrocarbons will be high but its been on the equivalent of about 10 minutes on the starter motor over the last couple of months so there will be quite a bit to get rid of and we don't have the chance of a blast down the local dual highway to clear it.
Reminds me of back in the day when I thought a bit of 2-stroke oil in the petrol and down the exhaust would stop it from rotting in my 250 Honda 4 stroke (it did do that at least until the bike was stolen and torched) so I set off (mid teens mind you) to school and soon the whole of the road behind me was in a deep 2-stroke cloud.... I thought it very funny but was like burning cooking oil by the gallon. If you have ever seen a poorly H1/2 Kawasaki 2 stroke max out and burn oil this was like 100 times worse. But it was Bel-Ray oil so it smelt really good (to me anyway)..
Enough of my random ramblings,

God bless and sleep well

Luv n Hugz

Katie

[davina61]

Like a Red X decoke, towing a bonfire time

[Katie Jade]

Quick update; Corsa car back with MOT. Still blew  some diesel smoke out but I took it down the dual carriageway and that's cleared it all out, runs like a little beauty now.

So I went for lunch with Mom and Dad, which was really nice, had salmon and anchovies, on a Caesars salad (less the croutons) with diet tonic water ice and lemon (still like to suck all the juice out of lemons but then wash away with the drink as its quite acidic of course and my teeth are bad enough anyway). Parents treated me to this meal, and we had a good chat about general things whilst eating.
When we got home from the restaurant I had a long chat with my Mum telling her some of the details of how we feel and what we often do to counter the growing Dysphoria, the shame and the guilt. She was quite accepting and kept passing me tissues as I was bawling my eyes out by this time (Pfffff...  emotions not under control again). We just hugged each other for quite a while and kept telling each other how much we loved each other. She asked about why I hadn't talked to her before, even a long time ago. and I explained all about the guilt making it impossible to do, and the barbaric way Trans were treated by some Doctors at the time I was young. I was aware quite early on of some of the aversion therapies that were sometimes used and such like.
Eventually we went through to the kitchen and my Dad came in and we talked again quite candidly and Dad just asked questions and stuff. He was very up front with questions and accepted all my answers. He said that meeting today, just with me, was a really big deal for them and they would get to understand and accept me. I thought that was very positive.
Before I left for home, Mum asked if I minded if they let other people know, and I just said that I didn't mind at all, just to let me know who they told.
They know my name now as well.

Well better get some tea going - cauliflower rice and a little chicken curry I think... maybe a glass of white wine..

Needless to say Im in a good place at the moment 

Luv n Hugz

Katie

[Northern Star Girl]

@Katie Again
Dear Katie:  I just have to bust in here on your thread to tell you that I am really enjoying following your updates... your random ramblings are a snapshot of your life's events, and I am happy that you trust all of us on the forums enough that you will share those details with us.

Your latest pictures are nice for all of us to see and to rejoice with you about the progress that you are making with your journey.

Well, that is certainly good news that you reported about meeting with your mom and dad...  I love that you also reported that you had more conversation with your dad when he came into the kitchen and he asked more questions and appeared to be accepting you and your transition decisions. 

I like your last sentence.... " Needless to say Im in a good place at the moment   "

Keep on keeping on and please continue to frequently treat your readers and followers with your updates.
Hugs,
Danielle

***Needless to say Im in a good place at the moment .... that is a nice place to be!!!!
.

[Kendra]

Wow Katie the lunch you just had with your parents was very significant - and well done!  There is so much you can now park in your past and move forward with life as you best see fit. 

[Katie Jade]

Dearest Danielle and Kendra

Yes its been a good day. My Ex-wife just came round and I recounted the whole story to her and she was very much of the opinions you girls have.

I know that the forum is regarded as open, but that's part of my coming out to the world. I'm a transwoman in the making and I'm getting over the issues that I have, one by one. Sometimes I can be too frank about my issues and I hope I don't offend anyone, also my typing skills aren't particularly good, or my punctuation, spelling, etc (working too much on Spreadsheets, Gantt charts and databases to bother getting the simple things right - must up my game there I think).

If anyone reads this, like so many other personal threads on the forums, then hopefully it will help them to see or understand that the mental barriers that we, as Trans, often put up, are barriers that we can overcome, as they are mostly self-imposed barriers. Once you realise that, and if you are careful, then they can be overcome. I will meet resistance and negatives on my journey I am sure, but they are, and will be, small, especially compared to where I am going, and indeed, where I am now.

When I got home my Dad rang me, and thanked me for coming over and talking to them. He said he realised how difficult that must have been, and he called himself 'of the older generation' (what? Im 56..!!), and in this case needed to step up and get up to date. Obviously I deeply thanked him for letting me come over and present my case to them and that his acceptance of the situation had made a really big difference to me, and lifted a load of weight from me. He was so sweet, it got my nose and eyes going again... I do so love the big guy 

Phew what an emotional day...

Wow what a really, really, really, really good day 

I think I need a rest for a bit...

Luv n Hugz

Katie



PS I don't mind anyone posting replies and comments here, I need advice and mentoring after all I'm still relatively new here..

[davina61]

That's made me happy, its good your folks are behind you. That makes things "easier" for you, as to advice looks like you don't need any love. Don't talk to me about tiping and speeling mistcks  , thanks for spell checker , need to scan my blood tests so I can email them but the laptop has "forgotten " the printer after a failed update (left it loading and battery went flat) . take care XXXXX

[pamelatransuk]

I am so happy for you, Katie.

Not only have you had a frank discussion with your Mum and Dad, but also they seem to understand the position you are in (and have been in all your life) as regards the GD and the previous ignorance of society and they completely accept you and wish to learn more. They call you by your true name.

Yesterday really must have been awesome!

Wishing you continued happiness.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

[Donna]

So nice to have your parents on board Katie. That was one of my biggest concerns and I couldn't let my family know until after I talked with her in person. My wife's dad has been great even if he tends to ask the wrong questions. I'll give him that at 90.
My mom was amazing when I told her, she needed a picture of us together. Your story and your ramblings are fun to read.
Keep moving forward as the strong woman you are

[Katie Jade]

Small update today, Had a lazy morning as last day of my holiday, taking youngest son for a meal to celebrate the end of his school year. I will be going in 'Drab'.
Also Ex was off work today and surprised me with a call late morning to ask to go for a walk before youngest son came home from school. Even though I had a few items planned I decide that I needed at least some exercise today. So we set off a walk for a few miles round the village borders. I didn't take my mobile (jeans are getting tighter around the bum area) so couldn't take any pictures. Stopped at farm shop/tea toom for a cuppa and a light lunch (BLT with dry cured bacon and side salad- OMG that was so tasty...) which I treated her to. Had long chats about nothing in particular - you may find if we ever meet that when I get used to someone then on occasion its difficult to get a work in edgeways to the conversation - and thoroughly enjoyed it. The walk only lasted about 2 hours including the stop, but there was zero wind or clouds, a glorious East Midlands day (as they all are of course). As I had Cami, T-shirt and light woollen hoodie on, I got somewhat warm/boiling, which was OK as Im carrying too much water at the moment and happy to sweat it off. This resulted in the sweaty pic below (If its too revealing then Im sure the mods will delete it).



I love this pic as it also highlights 6 months HRT chest growth for me, but I still need to loose the tummy fat.. + and - here then..

Finally my consultant has upped my patch strength by 50% as my E level had dropped (see earlier posts), so 2 patches now, at this rate Ill look like someone's sticker collection - that's a point, why don't they put nice images on the patches, unicorns, flowers, rainbows (!), etc as an option as they are otherwise quite bland and still visible.

Well that's it from me I think (maybe later I don't know).

Luv n Hugz

Katie