Undergoing GRS with a partner?

[beanierose]

Hello!

I'm going to be undergoing GRS at the end of this year, or early next year.  I've known my boyfriend since I was 16, and we've been dating for quite awhile.  He has supported me through everything, and he's going to be supporting me through this surgery as well.

I guess I'm curious to know, to people with partners/significant others who underwent GRS, what kind of emotional toll did it have on your partner?  What kinds of things do you wish you and your partner knew before the surgery?  How should I prepare him for this surgery and the longterm post-op care?

Any tips and advice would be quite great, he's an amazing person who I love immensely and who is very aware and understanding of the longterm healing and post-op care required, but I'm afraid of the toll it may have on him.

[Northern Star Girl]

@beanierose 
Hello beanierose
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[Northern Star Girl]

@beanierose
Oh, by the way beanierose, so that the other members here on the Forums will know that you have become a member of Susan's Place please go to the Introductions Forum to introduce yourself and to briefly tell the other members here about yourself!   You will then have a better chance of getting the answers that you are looking for regarding your specific interests and you will be able to share with others as they share their experiences with you once they know that you have arrived.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place,
Danielle

[120716]

Any tips and advice would be quite great, he's an amazing person who I love immensely and who is very aware and understanding of the longterm healing and post-op care required, but I'm afraid of the toll it may have on him.

I had GCS and my long time partner was with me. The only toll it took on her was she had to take care of me a bit. I was the one who would make dinner, make sure the bills were paid, drive when she was tired etc... So for 2 months she needed to do all those things. It was not bad for either one of us. She now does all those things on a regular basis. Just be kind to your partner. One thing that helped was letting her have time off for a break now and again, I made arrangements with friends to come over and get her a break, take her to a movie just something not at home.

Best wishes for your procedure and recovery, be sure not to over due it, sleep is your friend! When you are allowed to bathe (soak) try 2 or 3 cups of instant Ocean in your bath, my Gynecologist recommended it and it helped healing immensely! I did 2 30 minute baths a day for a few weeks (now just 2x a week soak) I bought the big box of instant ocean on Amazon, can get at the big box pet stores for a similar price.   

[Brenda80]

This is one interesting question. I cant say much on the taking care portion, as she remains in a isolated and pretending that all is normal kind of mentality so physical care and well being pretty much on my own.
Honestly I cant say for others since its different, I can only relate to my case.

My SO being of the same gender that I am after post-op certainly do experience changes in emotionally, psychologically and character.
Pre-op, I Guess she is still harping on the fact that there is a very slim chance that I may reconsider and perhaps gear back to being a male. She does not oppose but I Guess emotionally the acceptance of her towards the change in physical matter genitalia probably smashed the hopes of that even thou my care and concern has not changed since then.
Her perception is still in the mindset that I should maintain my domineering approach as well as handling the roles of the lead in the household. I am not objecting to such as this is also part of my responsibility and that my feelings for her remain the same.

I Guess in summary she is avoiding the fact that I have really gone post-op and topics arising to such will somehow create tension. We generally tend to avoid matters relating to such.
Understandable that such do occur perhaps life might be easier if my partner is of the opposite gender as I am now.
Another thing of observance is that she has also sink towards a much more feminine stance than before, perhaps this is to create the GAP between the passive and domineering role between us.

Normality is something in a relationship that seems generally strange in a way that it tends to be abnormal as such.