Intro

[FindingMe]

Sorry I am not at a point yet where I have a name to give yet. I am 39 years old and have pretty much tryed to live in denial my entire life. I have made and used every excuse I could think of to justify and at the same time avoid the way I felt. As most of you probably already know running from this in no way makes it go away. So now after almost 40 years I can really start seeing what suppressing my feelings are doing to me. I can feel resentment towards people who have done nothing wrong, Infact these are people I love and have invited into my life. I can see myself snap at people for really no reason and all these things made me start thinking, why am I doing this what's wrong. Then the depression got so bad that it felt like I wasted my whole life I feel like I wake up everyday just to wait for the next I find little enjoyment in life and it must have shown. So with the support and persuasion of my wife. I seeked out a gender therapist and Yes my wife has known for almost 20 years, at least as much as I've known anyways. So the week before my first session was hell, tons of anxiety and regret and I almost didn't go. Luckily I did and I actually had a lot to say. It's only been about 6 weeks going once a week and wow I can't believe how helpful this has been already. It's amazing how much better it feels just to start accepting what's going on in my brain and to know that I do have a Choice and I'm not the abomination that I have  felt to be from all the crap I planted in my subconscious over the years. Especially when I was young it just wasn't normal back then for boys to have thoughts of being a girl. It's crazy how I get excited now about the future. Thanks for letting me vent

[Northern Star Girl]

@FindingMe     
Hello FindingMe,   Thank you for writing your Introduction with interesting details about your life.   We are so glad that you found your way here to the Forums.
It is great to see that you have taken the step to become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your  introduction with us.   

Obviously you stated that have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with what you may be going through.

Please allow me to also WELCOME you to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others  and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
It is nice that you had signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and get involved at your own pace. 

Below, I posted Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place.  Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

[Susan Baum]

Hi, FindingMe 
Though I see Danielle has posted a Welcome, I also want to say Hello and bid you welcome.

It's harder for some folks to come to grips with their gender issues than others; having a supporting wife, finding a good therapist and joining us here are steps forward - wherever your journey takes you.

You wrote your wife has known for about 20 years; maybe you would consider sharing your story with us.

Hoping you find a name,
Hugs
Susan
(My wife actually chose mine for me.)

[V M]

Hi FindingMe 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[FindingMe]

Thanks for the welcome.  I have been looking for a place with people who can at least relate to some things I'm going through, especially since a lot of people aren't going to understand at all.


Susan Baum as I get a bit more comfortable here I will tell our story she is amazing and I don't think I could address my gender issues without her. Even when I have doubts she always has something to say to make me feel better. In the beginning I expected her to feed my doubts to maybe try to change the way I feel but it's been the exact opposite. She seems to just want to see me happy and seems to be more comfortable with what's going on than I am.

Just a question how do you go about setting up profiles. Is a donation required I see a lot of different levels to donate if so and don't see anything about using profiles

[Northern Star Girl]

Thanks for the welcome.  I have been looking for a place with people who can at least relate to some things I'm going through, especially since a lot of people aren't going to understand at all.


Susan Baum as I get a bit more comfortable here I will tell our story she is amazing and I don't think I could address my gender issues without her. Even when I have doubts she always has something to say to make me feel better. In the beginning I expected her to feed my doubts to maybe try to change the way I feel but it's been the exact opposite. She seems to just want to see me happy and seems to be more comfortable with what's going on than I am.

Just a question how do you go about setting up profiles. Is a donation required I see a lot of different levels to donate if so and don't see anything about using profiles

@FindingMe   You have already set up your profile and you are now posting.  You can refine your profile by clicking your PROFILE Button and selecting Forum Profile, there you can add or change a lot of what others see.  However you can not post an Avatar/Profile picture of yourself until you post 15 quality postings and replies...

PLEASE go back to the Official Welcome message that I sent to you earlier on this thread... look at the LINKS and especially the LINKS in "red", there you will find important information that you asked about and that all new members need to know.   
Also regarding voluntary donations and other members information please go here.
    https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php#c2

If you have further questions please ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
       

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Donations are not required to use the site though they are appreciated as it's the only way Susan receives the money to keep the site operational. You may also note there is no advertising and you will not receive spam through the PM system or through email.  Some of our members barely can support themselves and others may not have access to a method of payment so Susan has no contribution requirements. 

Different levels of subscriptions indicate the amount of money contributed to the site monthly and don't provide any additional benefits. The primary benefit of donating or being a subscriber is the knowledge that your helping to provide a valuable service to others. Over the period of a day, around 700 registered members a day use the site. I estimate over that same day, about 7,000 guests (people without an account) visit the site. Your donation helps to ensure these people will have some place to find the information they so badly need.

[FindingMe]

Awesome thanks for the info, sounds like a deal to me