Wishing for the opposite biological gender

[LucyEgo]

I've been discussing my thoughts with my friends. Half of them are supportive and want me to explore and will love me no matter what.

The other half just point out the total fallacy and say that it isn't me full stop.

It got me thinking from the latter halfs discussion that it seems a lot, if not all, transgender people have thoughts about wishing they were the opposite gender as children.

Did anybody not have those thoughts? I can't pinpoint anything where I wished I was a girl growing up, but the thoughts have become increasingly more prevalent after my late teens. Thoughts usually involving wishing for the opposite biological genitalia and realising I have strong feminine congruence.

But I don't know if that's enough.

Im guessing it isn't :-(

Incidentally, I bought and put on a skirt a couple of days ago, my inner self just melted with relief. It was a weird emotion. I wish I knew what all this meant.

Lucy

[Nathanyel]

Lucy, it might surprise you to learn that not every transgender person has had these feelings since childhood. As a child I frequently wore girly things, dressed up in princess dresses, like a totally cisgender female. It was only a few years ago that I started feeling dysphoria and seeing myself as the other gender. It took me six months to find and pinpoint what those feelings meant and another three months for me to accept the conclusion that I am trans. It's not always evident from birth.

So never think for a moment that maybe you aren't trans just because someone says you aren't "trans enough". There's no measurement to it. No required level of trans for your feelings to be valid. No gender clinic come with a sign outside saying "you must be *this* trans to enter"

Your feelings are just as valid as any of our feelings here.

-Nathanyel

[KathyLauren]

From what I understand, it is very common for these thoughts to first arise around puberty.

But I don't know if that's enough.

Im guessing it isn't :-(

Don't guess!  Talk to a gender therapist.  They are skilled at helping you sort out these feelings and determining for yourself who you are and what you want.

Your story is not at all uncommon.  Your doubts DO NOT indicate that you aren't trans.  All of us have doubts.  It takes some of us decades to work through them.  I had my first thought of wanting to be a girl at age 7, but the doubts held me back until I was 61.  Don't make the mistake that I did.  Talk to a professional while you are still young.

[DustKitten]

I did have issues with my gender identity, but I didn't even begin to recognize them until my late teens. It took me a long time to sort through my feelings; I didn't just "always know."

All you really need to "be trans" is to recognize that you don't feel at home in your own body, and you want to change it, and then express that desire and take steps towards that goal. Just let yourself be whatever gender you want to be, and don't worry about the stereotypes.