2 Years Since I Told My Wife

[RachelH]

I am not sure, but it was either this weekend or next that I finally told my wife that I am Trans.  We had been married almost 20 years at the time and while I have not moved forward with hormones or anything else, it's hard to believe I have been partially out for 2 years! 
Paula

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[KathyLauren]

We came out to our spouses at around the same time.  My anniversary is in a couple of weeks.

How are you feeling about where you are at?  Is the lack of forward movement by choice, or something you find difficult to accept?

[RachelH]

We came out to our spouses at around the same time.  My anniversary is in a couple of weeks.

How are you feeling about where you are at?  Is the lack of forward movement by choice, or something you find difficult to accept?

Hi Kathy,
I guess a little by choice and yes I am disappointed I have not moved forward with hormones.  I really want to but I make a good living and I have a daughter with special medical needs so while I want to move forward, I cannot risk her support...make sense?  If it were just me and my wife, I would most likely have started to transition long before now but such is life! 
In the mean time, I will take advantage of what time I can to be me.

How has your spouse handled it?  Are you still together?
Paula

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[Tatiana 79]

Congratulations Paula
I think this is pretty huge event in both your lives. And being partially out for two years is quite an accomplishment and could be implying your future path possibly but more important I think that this proves acceptance from your wife.
It's Not Unusual that many couples Stay Together as many have that are members here I don't know the odds on it but I think its more probable most wifes would not accept it and you really can't blame them it's not what they signed up for.
But love is the closest thing to Magic I think we'll ever experience in our life and can produce unexpected results. but know that it can and does exist
I personally have been married to my wife for 38 years and was basically out to her a little after we got married because of course I thought it was going to stop when I got married but of course it did not but what it did produce was truly Magic because not only does she accept me she's kind of like an advocate flag waver suggesting that I should have done this a long time ago and always tells me if things go a little awry to change clothes because she said that when I'm properly dressed l become more kinder and gentler. For instance yesterday she was showing me different ways to curl my hair and we almost spent the entire night interacting as two females. I feel very lucky to have my soulmate at this level constantly teaching me and showing me all the cool girly stuff. Even though she's not a girly girl she's more like a rebellious punk rocker that never lost her attitude.

  Like you l have not started HRT yet but I think I'm within a month away but I think it's very cool and I'm actually proud of you that you have been expressing yourself as your inner identity suggests.
You two have been together for so long I would bet money that you'll stay together and grow closer.
And hopefully write  a new brighter than ever imagined, chapter in both of your lives.

I wish you all the best for your future and that both of you will find magic
       Love Tatiana

[Tatiana 79]

I want to apologize Paula I can't believe I didn't read everything that you and Kathy said I usually do but somehow I did not and didn't realize the main issue was your daughter's needs not your wife's.
I sure missed the mark on this one a mistake that I'll never make again
But of course I do wish that everything will work out as good as possible

Sincerely Tatiana

[KathyLauren]

Hi Kathy,
I guess a little by choice and yes I am disappointed I have not moved forward with hormones.  I really want to but I make a good living and I have a daughter with special medical needs so while I want to move forward, I cannot risk her support...make sense?  If it were just me and my wife, I would most likely have started to transition long before now but such is life! 
In the mean time, I will take advantage of what time I can to be me.

How has your spouse handled it?  Are you still together?
Paula

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My wife was surprised, of course, though she said that some things make sense in light of my being trans.  We are still together, and she is my best supporter and my fashion coach.

[HappyMoni]

It's late and I need to get my beauty sleep (lol), but I just wanted to say a quick hello, Paula. Hugs!
Moni

[grrl1nside]

Hi Paula,

I came out to my partner about 7 years ago and started down the path to hormones and broader transition but slowed down because I wanted to progress while maintaining my family. Although I was ready to transition I had others that I wanted to bring along with me. Although my kids do not have health conditions, I was worried about being secure in my job and benefits because we are a single income family so I appreciate that there are lots of things that each of us has to way up on our journey.

I personally couldn't hold back forever and my partner slowly recognized that it wouldn't go away. And, to be honest, the dysphoria kept getting harder to manage. We agreed that I could finally move forward transitioning. Now, my partner says things like 'I wouldn't want you to stop hrt and transitioning.' In fact, she is often one of my biggest advocates to go further faster because I am so much more relaxed and happy. I am lucky but it has also taken a lot of patience and communication by everyone in the family.

I wish your family well and that you find little things to make it through. 

[Sienna Grace]

It is really interesting to read about the experiences you all share here. Thank you!
I came out to my wife and family about a year ago and started low dose oestrogen last October. My progression has been great for me emotionally, but my wife is quite firm that she will not accept me as a woman.
I wonder if this will ever change and how to manage this aspect of my transition.

[Michelle G]

Next month (July) will be 6 years since I came out to my lovely spouse and things are still great.
She still surprises me with cute clothes when she goes shopping and she always makes a point to ask if I want to add to and order she's making online 💕
  I honestly don't know what I would do without her

[DawnOday]

Moni. I tried for beauty sleep and ended up in a 4 day coma. Be careful.

[RachelH]

Hi all, thank you so much for your support!!  I am not sure what the future holds but time will tell (obviously).  She seems to understand more each passing day what I am going through.
Paula

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[HappyMoni]

Dawn, remember beauty good, comas bad! That simple.

Paula, I remember I time when you were resigned to never doing anything. I think I am hearing a glimmer of hope  here? I sure hope so.

[Chloe]

How has your spouse handled it?  Are you still together?

I have found that being "trans" is not the real issue but, rather, what you decide to actually do about it. Wife of 30 years knew before we were married (1989) but then, due to employment concerns much like yours, I stopped HRT until 2005 and while divorced in 2010 (due to her behavioral concerns not mine!) we are once again together with a third grandchild on the way soooo . . .

My suggestion is TAKE IT SLOW, try to avoid outward cross-dressing much as possible but DO see a therapist, if needs be, and what you can to stop the onslaught of your maleness condition!

[RachelH]

Dawn, remember beauty good, comas bad! That simple.

Paula, I remember I time when you were resigned to never doing anything. I think I am hearing a glimmer of hope  here? I sure hope so.

Hi Moni! 
Perhaps a glimmer!!  I'm still not certain but I have definitely been taking it slow and things seem better but they were never bad to begin with between us, it is more life than wife if that make sense??  I need to get back to my therapist and I am sure I will soon.  I just started a new job this week so we shall see what the future holds.
Take care,
Paula

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