Hi Everybody and I'm giving you a big wave from here. [The UK]
Introducing yourself isn't easy, but here's a bit about me...
I'm a mid-fifties m2f transgender, something I've just come to terms with and also outed myself on social media recently. ( That story is on another post in the 'Transgender' forum.) So I've taken the first major step in clearing the road ahead for the future...
How I came to this point is a familiar story to many, so I won't labour on the details. The usual stuff applies to me as well; such as feeling like I was really a 'girl on the inside' at age 5/6. The common peer pressure, social stigma etc... pushes these thoughts deep into the memory, only to re-surface many years later as crossdressing.
That also followed a typical path of a fascination with women's panties, trying them on, leading to experimenting with stockings, suspenders, skirts etc.. til going the whole 9 yards in make-up, painted nails and fully dressed from head to toe. In this day and age we can all take selfies, and looking at how relaxed and happy I was en femme, it dawned on me that this was who I truly was. It explained everything in a flash.
Being a semi-retired musician who'd played in dozens of local rock bands, I could get away with the 'borderline trans' look forever if I wished. Rock dudes can wear long hair, earrings, nail paint, heeled boots, women's jeans, even ladies tops and nobody bats an eyelid. But it wasn't/isn't enough for me.
I wanted to walk fully with the truth, hence I declared that I viewed myself as "woman in a man's body" and as a potential transitioner in the future. The support on social media was great, suffice to say here that I'm glad I did it. A massive weight, dread, itch, fear - call it all of these - has been lifted from me and I feel like I'm re-inventing my life from day one.
As I'm also a single parent going through a difficult divorce ( not caused by my issues ) then I have to take things slowly and tread carefully, for the sake of the kids. So my plan is more long-term than a quick fix, but I'm glad I've taken the first small steps along the road to femininity.
Having to quit the rock'n'roll lifestyle to look after the kids has also brought out many nurturing, mothering feelings and I'm glad it all happened this way. As my creativity has to come out somewhere, I've taken to writing fiction, non-fiction and poetry - all of which I can do from home (time permitting) as well as song. No more falling out of transit vans at 3am after a gig. lol I'm also very politically active, so more about all of this at a later date...
Wave back to me ;-)
Jenna
xx
