I've never had a problem with the LGBT community. I was bisexual for as long as I remember - it just "was" for me and was never something I felt bothered or ashamed about. I roomed at university with several gays and lesbians who were my closest friends although I did not have relationships with any of them. I have been to various LGBT bars and nights out but never to "find someone" to be with. Frankly the attitude within most of those places usually wasn't my kind of thing. I would find people subtly hostile to me because I refused to "define" myself to them, to present what I was and what I was looking for - which was usually just to have a night out with my friends, not to be vetted. The promiscuity and lack of caution that seemed to be happening around me in these places and among my friends put me off getting too involved.
I was a very "low key" bisexual and an even lower key trans person at that point in time, to the degree that most individuals I met thought I was straight. I don't tend to share information like sexuality and identity like candy to randos. That it was sort of demanded or expected on meeting someone instantly put me on my guard, but I wasn't ostracized or anything. I was just considered "on the fence" which was apparently the term for when you won't make your mind up and announce what you "are". I have never liked labels, or flags, or any of that sort of stuff so the way things are going with a hundred little different 'flags' being drawn up for this and that sexuality or gender has caused me to walk away from the idea of celebrating pidgeonholes for people to be put into and labelled as. I do not see it as a particularly productive thing.
Anyway, my reason for associating with the community as such was purely because my friends did, and I was associating with my friends. I didn't really feel a need to seek it out, or to seek out people on the LGBT spectrum specifically, except of course places like this for vital information. I've never attended a pride march and I'm not likely to in the future, although I have no issue with pride marches. I'm just not a fan of crowds and large gatherings of people.
I now dislike the term "ally" in reference to supporting LGBT rights. It sounds very political and I've seen it thrown around as if to say one is an ally if one is willing to support absolutely everything that goes on within the LGBT community, and if not then you are "not an ally". In other words, to put up and shut up, or have no complaints on pain of being considered "the enemy". I fully support the human rights of all gay/trans people, but I won't have the term ally applied to me again in such a black and white context that can be so mutually exclusive to open discourse. The LGBT community isn't perfect and there are some things in there that should be addressed. It can't be addressed while one is labelled an ally, these days though, apparently. So there's that.
I'm not an advocate or activist in the general sense of the word, although in any discussion with anybody on the topic of gay/trans rights I will invariably make it known that they deserve human rights the same as everyone else if it looks like the person I am speaking to seems to think they are unworthy of them. I don't feel much in the way of "pride" to be who and what I am, nor do I feel any shame, nor am I the type to want to shout about it from rooftops, but I do believe it is very important that we maintain the right to exist and to be visible. There are after all still places in the world where we are killed for those things, where government-endorsed slaughter or incarceration of LGBT individuals takes place.
So pride isn't something I attend personally, but I support it, and the right for people to be able to have it. After all, people have suffered to get it this far, and free expression (and freedom of speech) is very important to me personally.
