Quote from: amandam on June 17, 2018, 01:33:11 AM
What answers did you seek during your journey of self-discovery? How did you get your answer or are you still seeking?
(some examples):
Are you really male/female mentally.
Transition - yes or no.
Crossdressing - natural for me or fetish or both.
Sexuality - same sex, porn issues, etc.
<any other subject>
Mentally:
I used to think I just had a fetish when I realized I had been wanting to be a woman for years. I think arguing with yourself about are you mentally a man or woman can wear you down, I think the more important question is "what can I do to feel more congruent with myself?" When I got my E they said the focus is on making me happy, so test the waters with whatever you think will help you be yourself.
Transition:
I think every trans person transitions to some degree. Even before I got my prescriptions, my girlfriend could tell I was acting very different. She said while we we being intimate that I act like a lesbian now. Which I don't know exactly what that means but it made me feel like a woman
Again, search your feelings and see what changes would make you happier. You don't have to transition at all or you can go as far as you like.
Crossdressing:
I thought I just had a fetish for years, without ever reading the theory, I had fallen into the trap of
>-bleeped-<. I know it is not a fetish because women's clothing makes me happy and complete in non-sexual ways. That said, especially at first the excitement of discovering my gender identity did mix with some sexual feelings.
Sexuality:
I had sexual feelings of wanting to be a woman long before I was trans. Some people say things like "why would you fantasize about being yourself?" Yet, if you are sexual person as I am who did not know they were trans, it is easy to see how that would bubble to the surface through fantasy.
Other questions:
Will I change now that I am trans? Everybody changes all the time and nothing will stop that. Discovering you are trans is a huge disruption to your old life and you will discover a lot, but I think most people view themselves as the same person.
Am I a real woman (man)? This question is kind of reductive, as people ask this plenty when they are not trans. Relating to the Holy Spirit, God does not do accidents. If I am trans I am supposed to be this way. No Bible passage could change this because I refuse to believe some people are just created wrong.
Should I tell...? I told my mom just so someone in my family would know and I wouldn't feel too alone. It's important not to hide yourself, but also consider exactly who needs coming out to and why.
Will this change my romantic relationship? In a word, yes. There is no way for a person to go through so much change and it not affect things. These aren't always bad changes. Make sure to stay open and honest but also don't let the SO hurt your self perception. One thing that was tough for mine was she wanted the traditional way of getting pregnant and her own idea of her womanhood was tied into that. Eventually she saw I really needed this and the doctor explained infertility doesn't set in completely for awhile. I made sure to talk with her and accommodate her feelings, but never let her uneasiness make me question my identity.
Sorry my responses seem like I am telling you answers, that's just the easiest way to write for me.
Love,
Bren
Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk