The irony of ironies.. wishes.. prayers.. dreams.

[Doreen]

Ever since I was as young as I remember .. I can recall praying, hoping, wishing that I was a normal girl.  Above all else having a womb, after all wasn't that the quintessential dream living in the wrong body? At least to me it was.

I had to fix some things.  Wishes weren't cutting it, and my prayers fell on deaf ears. Until about 4 years ago when I had my first ultrasound.

Turns out I had it all along.  The irony though is its not attached.  Not just that, it hurts me every day.  I don't think there's a surgeon on earth willing to attach it either (I'm still looking around.. I still have some hopes).

Word for the wise though: Careful what you wish for.  The only 'benefit' I see out of it is constant pain.  Would've been nice to know this 40 years ago though.   I would've made some very radical very quick decisions about my 'transition' timeline.  Oh well, hindsight & all that.  Also ... you never know.  You too might be 'gifted' with this.  Its not unheard of, and apparently I'm not the only alien on earth with these issues.

Just my ramblings.

[annaleaver]

Having (or not having) a womb, periods etc. is something that isn't acknowledged enough when talking about GID from my experience, it is an ugly concept to consider, and it does enforce certain stereotypes/divisions regarding trans and cis women...I hope it improves.

From my experience of self-proclaimed alien types, a degree of humanity is lost when that distinction is made...

[Northern Star Girl]

Ever since I was as young as I remember .. I can recall praying, hoping, wishing that I was a normal girl.  Above all else having a womb, after all wasn't that the quintessential dream living in the wrong body? At least to me it was.

I had to fix some things.  Wishes weren't cutting it, and my prayers fell on deaf ears. Until about 4 years ago when I had my first ultrasound.

Turns out I had it all along.  The irony though is its not attached.  Not just that, it hurts me every day.  I don't think there's a surgeon on earth willing to attach it either (I'm still looking around.. I still have some hopes).

Word for the wise though: Careful what you wish for.  The only 'benefit' I see out of it is constant pain.  Would've been nice to know this 40 years ago though.   I would've made some very radical very quick decisions about my 'transition' timeline.  Oh well, hindsight & all that.  Also ... you never know.  You too might be 'gifted' with this.  Its not unheard of, and apparently I'm not the only alien on earth with these issues.

Just my ramblings.

@Doreen
Dear Doreen:  Your heartfelt posting resonated with me in a way that compelled me to sit down and contemplate what you stated about your feelings about your transition that you have wished you had acted on much earlier in your life. 
You are right about wishing that you knew then what you know now... 40 years later. (for me 25 years later)
 
I too have very similar feelings... I knew when I was young that something was wrong....   in many of my earlier postings on the Forums I mentioned that in my school and college years, I had the correct appearing body as far as looking feminine but I had the wrong equipment down below.  Obviously I was not comfortable being around my male classmates that for all practical purposes were becoming big, strong, muscle endowed men while I was small 5'4", thin and small build, no muscles, small hands, slightly curly blonde hair, soft looking girly face, and a voice to match. 

I endured the cruelest of jokes and comments and the locker room scenario was torture.   Finally in my early 30's I made the transition decision that I should have made years earlier.
You are correct with your statement....   Also ... you never know.  You too might be 'gifted' with this.  Its not unheard of, and apparently I'm not the only alien on earth with these issues.

Thank you for your posting.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Doreen]

Having (or not having) a womb, periods etc. is something that isn't acknowledged enough when talking about GID from my experience, it is an ugly concept to consider, and it does enforce certain stereotypes/divisions regarding trans and cis women...I hope it improves.

From my experience of alien types, a degree of humanity is lost when that distinction is made...

I actually do agree on that point.  Keep in mind with folks with CAIS (Complete androgen insensitivity) they're born without a womb, hidden testes, yet are really the quintessential females.  Tall, clear skin (no acne), no body hair.. lots of other 'benefits'.   This is a generalized stereotype, of course there are variations.  But no children and no womb.  Doesn't mean they aren't female (if they choose to be).  Testosterone actually.. benefits their feminine attributes.  Amazing thing that, really.  Or really really terrible if they happen to be gender dysphoric identifying as male, because it won't help them androgenize.

Its just me, something I had wished & dreamed for for many many years.  It in no way disqualifies anyone elses experiences, at all. And there is no shame to being trans at all.  I know my spouse (a post op m2f) certainly doesn't want my problems, a point she makes whenever I start whining lol.  She's perfectly happy being post op

@Doreen
Dear Doreen:  Your heartfelt posting resonated with me in a way that compelled me to sit down and contemplate what you stated about your feelings about your transition that you have wished you had acted on much earlier in your life. 
You are right about wishing that you knew then what you know now... 40 years later. (for me 25 years later)
 
I too have very similar feelings... I knew when I was young that something was wrong....   in many of my earlier postings on the Forums I mentioned that in my school and college years, I had the correct appearing body as far as looking feminine but I had the wrong equipment down below.  Obviously I was not comfortable being around my male classmates that for all practical purposes were becoming big, strong, muscle endowed men while I was small 5'4", thin and small build, no muscles, small hands, slightly curly blonde hair, soft looking girly face, and a voice to match. 

I endured the cruelest of jokes and comments and the locker room scenario was torture.   Finally in my early 30's I made the transition decision that I should have made years earlier.
You are correct with your statement....   Also ... you never know.  You too might be 'gifted' with this.  Its not unheard of, and apparently I'm not the only alien on earth with these issues.

Thank you for your posting.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Thank you too for your response.  I was cursed being tall super early.  I still honestly suspect my 'allergy shots' being anything but when I was 10.  I just remember being deathly scared of them, and I grew really fast after getting them.

Oh well... life... full of past regrets.  I post that so maybe the young ones here will get on the ball & get it rolling if this is how they're so inclined.  Don't put things off!