Selfish post- do you think I'll pass after hrt

[TsukiCat]

Hi guys n gals, this ones a bit if a selfish post I took a photo wearing makeup and can't tell if I'd pass once I'm on hrt.  I can't figure out how you post a picture here tho it doesn't seem to be working for me. I'm a bit simple lol. Can someone explain thanks.

I struggle with anxiety tho so will have to remove the thread as I'll worry about it. Thanks:)

[annaleaver]

Hi,

In general, through unfortunate biology trans girls experience a level of discrimination regarding their ability to "pass". I don't think it's selfish to have insecurities regarding that, especially if the aspects of your body that are being treated with HRT (breast tissue, soft skin, body hair etc.) are the ones that directly contribute to your feelings of gender dysphoria...The conversation regarding what constitutes female is, in my opinion, separate from that of what causes gender dysphoria.

Passing is nice, someone on the street yesterday referred to me as madam/madame and I almost cried with happiness.

Same, I tend to upload it elsewhere and link it.

anastasia x

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi guys n gals, this ones a bit if a selfish post I took a photo wearing makeup and can't tell if I'd pass once I'm on hrt.  I can't figure out how you post a picture here tho it doesn't seem to be working for me. I'm a bit simple lol. Can someone explain thanks.

I struggle with anxiety tho so will have to remove the thread as I'll worry about it. Thanks:)

@TsukiCat   ....  hang on...
I am now sending you a PM giving you simple instructions regarding posting pictures.
Hugs,
Danielle

[TsukiCat]

https://imgur.com/a/VtWmKre

Thank you that was confusing I'm not great with the internet at times thanks

[TsukiCat]

I know this is odd my mum put her hair over mine because I had a mental breakdown and shaved all mine off lol

[Mendi]

I think you look pretty even now, without HRT. You have a nice oval shape face, from which many cisgender girls would be envious. Also rest of the face is also very gently shaped.

HRT affects everyone in own way, but I don´t see any reason, why you wouldn´t pass...even now, with long hair.

[Devlyn]

I know this is odd my mum put her hair over mine because I had a mental breakdown and shaved all mine off lol

Odd? I  think she deserves the  Mom Of The Year award. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[krobinson103]

You won't have issues around your face at least. Just a word of advice though, passing is 90% confidence. Project what you want people to see and most will accept it. Those that don't, generally don't matter anyway. If you show insecurity or fear people pick up on it and look closer.

There will be always be some tells, can't be helped. BUT, if you can internalize acceptance of those differences and just get on with it they aren't a problem.

[Allison S]

I don't think you're being selfish at all.
So that's definitely a great hair color for you and I think you can easily pull off a wig in that color. Your mom is the best... please tell her that! [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[MissyMay2.0]

You won't have issues around your face at least. Just a word of advice though, passing is 90% confidence. Project what you want people to see and most will accept it. Those that don't, generally don't matter anyway. If you show insecurity or fear people pick up on it and look closer.

There will be always be some tells, can't be helped. BUT, if you can internalize acceptance of those differences and just get on with it they aren't a problem.

I think everyone notices everyone who is in our space at the moment; we look at faces and body language to determine gender, and whether someone is friendly or aggressive; and we notice anything that piques our interest, so I don't really think confidence is the key to passing, but I do feel it is a key to being accepted, because if you are not comfortable with yourself, and you feel shame and are embarrassed by who you are, then people pick up on that, and may think, if that person is ashamed and embarrassed of themselves, then there must be something negative about being trans; however, if you are a proud trans person, and maybe don't pass very well, then people may still notice you are trans, but they may feel more comfortable around you, and may say to themselves for a nanosecond "oh, she's trans", and a nanosecond later they're thinking about something else.  Just be yourself, own it, and be happy, because you are being your authentic self. 

[Charlie Nicki]

Moms are the world's greatest gift! Yours is awesome.

And I think you look very pretty. You will definitely pass.

[Jessica]

https://imgur.com/a/VtWmKre

Thank you that was confusing I'm not great with the internet at times thanks

If you are using an Apple product, saving a picture to post isn't as easy as with a pc.  With a pc a BBC link is given (which gives the correct one to post on Susan's Place) and when posted will show the picture.  On an iPad or iphone the link is not supplied.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica

And yes, you definitely pass visually.

[TsukiCat]

Thank you everyone this has made me feel 100% better, I really wasnt accepting nice responses like this. Passsing has been a huge issue with me, know I dont think any doubt shrouds my mind (not that this should dictate the choice) <3

My mum is pretty great I know how lucky I am, not related but she has been through so much as growing up was a nightmare and I wasnt a great kid tbh (lots of personal reason mainly due to the blokes in my life). Since I came out she has been great.

I know you shouldnt care how you look but its something I have always been self concious about. I did have really long hair before past my shoulder and i hadnt cut it properly since about 14! I really regret what I did to it but what can I say... Sometimes you got bat insane lol.

It does worry me as from a side view you can definetly tell but hair should block that.

And all of you look amazing on your profile pictures. I hope to be as lucky as you amazing peeps.

[TsukiCat]

Just an additional thought, without makeup and short hair there is no way in hell id pass. Once on hrt is makeup allwayhs essential. I know it helps with skin and softening features but ive never seen anyone ask

[Chelsea]

Yes you will defiantly pass with ease. I am so jealous of your mom! She great.

Chelsea

[Jill]

Based on the pic, you won't have any trouble visually.   A few other tough spots are height.  Being tall will make it tougher.  How tall are you?   And then there is voice, which is often a giveaway.  A lot of our trans-sisters pass visually but out themselves the moment they open their mouth. 

[Devlyn]

What you really need to understand, though, TsukiCat, is that a pretty picture isn't passing. Voice, mannerisms, and how you move are more important to how people are going to perceive you. My bestie Tina said:

"It doesn't matter how pretty we make you, when you shovel food into your mouth, it's all boy."

Taking HRT won't cause you to pass by itself, nothing will on its own. It's going to take you doing the massive juggling act of all these things that you see so many here doing. It's going to be a long slog. Fortunately, thanks to Susan, the path is well lighted. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Janes Groove]

I think everyone notices everyone who is in our space at the moment; we look at faces and body language to determine gender, and whether someone is friendly or aggressive; and we notice anything that piques our interest, so I don't really think confidence is the key to passing, but I do feel it is a key to being accepted, because if you are not comfortable with yourself, and you feel shame and are embarrassed by who you are, then people pick up on that, and may think, if that person is ashamed and embarrassed of themselves, then there must be something negative about being trans; however, if you are a proud trans person, and maybe don't pass very well, then people may still notice you are trans, but they may feel more comfortable around you, and may say to themselves for a nanosecond "oh, she's trans", and a nanosecond later they're thinking about something else.  Just be yourself, own it, and be happy, because you are being your authentic self.

Agree. And I would add that THE SECOND you allow self doubt regarding your worth as a person to enter into your mind is when you get in trouble.  Put a sock in that stuff right away soldier!   
As noted above. CONFIDENCE is key.

[DustKitten]

Aww, Tsuki, you're pretty.  You should have nothing to worry about.

Seriously, I wish my face were that feminine.

[Devlyn]

I can dig up several posts from women whose partners told them they use their male voices while asleep.  That ain't passing!