I need some final advice

[TsukiCat]

So I've posted a lot here as I've been scared confused and God know what else about transitioning.  The thing is alive been looking into treatment options and I've come to a stand still. I'm in the uk and on reference to a GIG. But I looked into how they work. It will take a year to be referee. Half a year to be offered her if I get it. And they expect you to publicly crisscross for a minimum of a year. There's a difference to been trans and a crossdresser not that anything is wrong with that but many over here agree it's ridiculous. So I'm waiting an average of 3 years and at any point could be told no.

I cannot afford private care as I'm not a wealthy gal.

That leaves self medication which sounds good in theory but has some risks. Risks that could potentially kill you of you make a mistake. The GIC will not administer meds with this but will help other areas. The thing is I have people I need to look out for and I can't risk killing myself. I'm not suicidal as I do have these people to hang onto as they need me

At this stage in lost. I've finally come out but should I put a stop to this. Accept I'm stuck in the wrong body forever. I won't kill myself or anything like that but won't feel right. Any advice is appreciated. This could be my last thread on here, of that's the case you're all brave and amazing men and women and I wish you all happy lives.

[KathyLauren]

Believe me, we all know about being scared and confused, because we have all been there. 

It doesn't sound to me like you are confused about who you are.  The issue is just what to do about it.  Unfortunately, your options are limited.  As you said, self-medication is not a good idea.  That leaves the GIC, private, or no transition.  Private is out for you because of cost.  That leaves GIC or no transition.

Waiting for the GIC will be hard.  We all know about how frustrating delays are.  We want it all and we want it now.  Waiting is basically no transition for two or three years.  No transition is the same thing, but forever.

Dysphoria will not go away.  It tends to get worst over time.  You don't want to be like me and leave it until you are in your 60s.

Unless you are happy about choosing not to transition, and some people are, I think you would be better off signing up with the GIC.

[TsukiCat]

Thanks Kathy.  I think a huge problem for me is that it feels like it's taking over my life now and if I just push it back I have plenty of other things to drown the dysohiria out. I know I need a body to match but I've out up with it this ling, and I've hates myself for some stuff in the past so that sure as hell gives me enough to cover the dysohiria. I was just so excited that I found a way to fix me. I know I shouldn't but I'm majorly concerned with how I'd look as I've never been happy with me before. But I'm terrified that by the time they get round to TRY my face and body won't change much or maybe they strike trams service off the nhs and I'm stuck

[RobynD]

I'm not sure of the entire details of course, or your age etc but what would your life look like if: You waited the three years for medical portions of your transition. You began a social and presentation transition, gradually feminizing in those areas.

Could you ease some of the dysphoria and find some happiness out of what you'd wear, changing mannerisms, learning etc.? I'm sure you've thought of this but it might be good to make progress in other areas.

[TsukiCat]

Hi Robyn. I'm 18 almost 19 which I know is still fairly young but male puberty has already done a lot of damage. I grew up with little to no male influence so my mannerisms are pretty feminine I've always walked and talked like women. My voice has always been high. My look is quite boyish an I worry that with more time nothing will be renewable to standards of passing which is important to mw

[Dena]

What your describing is in some ways similar to my transitions. When you run into a problem, you can't give up and you need to plan another attack. Possibly taking and additional part time job or getting more eduction/training in order to improve your income so you can go private. I have looked at the prices of self medication (remove far to much of it as a moderator) and self medication may cost 4 or more times that of store prices. That means a good portion of that could be applied to a private doctor.

You might talk it over with your private doctor because in the UK, some will handle HRT treatment because they understand the delays involved in treatment. Most important is never give up on solving a problem. Some problems are more difficult that others but if you keep banging on it, eventually something will crack.

[Megan.]

TsukiCat,

Firstly,  the GIC can't ever say 'no', their input is frankly quite minimal in the whole process, they are there to ensure you are mentally and physically fit to start HRT and/or have GRS should you want it.
Their wait for the initial appointment is ridiculous, but once you're in their system, things tend to move at a reasonable pace along WPATH guidelines.
What many UK people do is use the GenderGP service to get a start on HRT while they wait on the NHS queue, then swap over to their care when they catch up.
In the meantime you can work on voice, mannerisms, fashion/style, hair removal, weight loss (if needed), quitting smoking if you do.
Also, remember that HRT (while a big piece for many) is not the only piece of the puzzle. I went full-time several months before starting HRT, and the benefits mentally were great for me.
Good luck. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[TsukiCat]

Not to be into too much detail as it is exremely personal but I suffer from other undiagnosed mental health conditions. Mainly derived from my anxiety. Its to the point where I dont work. So its not possible to save or get additional jobs to go private.

Hi Megan, I had heard stories that they had denied hrt to some or just cancelled appointments constantly. That sort of thing. It just sounds a mess tbh

[Dena]

If what you  posted is correct, your in  the UK so get down to the doctor, get diagnosed because you might be wrong and if treatment exist, see if treatment will help you. There are conditions that masquerade as other conditions so it's important that you be sure about the diagnosis. Without knowing for sure what the condition is, you can't take advantage of any programs that are offered within the UK for your condition, what ever it is. For the moment, do what you can and see what your options are.

If you are in the gender program, they may insist that your condition be treated first before receiving gender program treatment. If so, that would further delay treatment for your gender issues.

[TsukiCat]

Its around Social Anxiety but potentially a personality disorder. But they wont do anything, mental health teams are useless over here, but thats a topic for another discussions I suppose

[Dena]

You won't know unless you try. In addition, even here we don't always get the right doctor the first time. Don't believe me? Click on the link in my signature. As they say, third time was the charm.

[Megan.]

Not to be into too much detail as it is exremely personal but I suffer from other undiagnosed mental health conditions. Mainly derived from my anxiety. Its to the point where I dont work. So its not possible to save or get additional jobs to go private.

Hi Megan, I had heard stories that they had denied hrt to some or just cancelled appointments constantly. That sort of thing. It just sounds a mess tbh

Patients at the GIC can often have cormorbid mental health problems. They are very used to seeing this, their approach is just to make sure those are stable and well managed, and that the desire to transition is genuine and not related to the others.

GenderGP do work with low income patients, and can provide guidance to your GP for them to provide you 'bridging' HRT until you're in the GIC track. A supportive GP is of great use here, to ensure you are monitored well and are safe.

The consultants at the GIC are good, the administration is occasionally shocking, I've personally turned up to find one of my appointments was cancelled. Just don't assume stuff is right, keep in contact with them to ensure dates/times/details are correct; you have to own this process. But the upside is funded hair removal, HRT for life and GRS; there are many here who would feel very lucky to have that.

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[annaleaver]

Maybe I was particularly lucky with a very supportive GP, having had several appointments where I came out and explained my experience of gender dysphoria to him, he was able to prescribe a very low dose of HRT and take appropriate blood tests for T and E levels, clotting etc, which amounted to some breast development and softer skin in the time it took to be referred to a GIC. Maybe this even halted further body development testosterone would have permitted.

I wouldn't recommend self-medication, from my own experience it can be quite dangerous, though lots of transgender people are forced down this route given the waiting times on the NHS...it's an ugly dilemma that lots of transgender youth (teens) in the UK are faced with, the choice of self-medicating using potentially dangerous drugs in unmarked packaging or waiting the 1-3 years in which time puberty and the effects of male sex hormones on the teenage body can have irreversible effects that amount to severe notions of gender dysphoria for life. It's not a nice situation to be in and I'm sorry you're going through this. Try and find support through your GP.

love anastasia x

[Sno]

Hon, many of us have other issues, from depression and anxiety through to challenges like dissociative disorders, cPTSD and personality disorders. Often the dysphoria can create these problems, as we live in cognitive dissonance - our brain and our body that we experience do not match, all the time.

We have members who are on the autism spectrum and more.

As one of those members, the best thing to do is to get them checked out and diagnosed - for me the last 18 months have been very difficult, but thanks to the therapy and medication I am on, my world is more stable. I'm not 'fixed' but coherent and able to function.

One of my biggest fears was a PD diagnosis. I am starting to see that it will make little difference to me, having the diagnosis - it will however enable me to gain strategies to help me cope better with the world, and should not impact other seperate treatments for any other issues I may have - such as a broken leg stopping me obtaining treatment for tonsillitis... just to be a little silly.

You have the support here that you need, and the need to start your transition - it's best to be open and honest with our healthcare providers, so that we can access the right treatment for us.

(Hugs)

Rowan

[pamelatransuk]

Hello again TsukiCat

I now fully appreciate your dilemma and I do empathise as you need to take action but where do you find resources?

I can only second Megan's statement that GenderGP do deal with low income patients and offer a "Bridging Service" awaiting NHS system catching up.

The only other advice I would give is to emphasise your gender dysphoria with your present NHS therapist and perhaps your present therapist and/or your present doctor may refer you to more specialized NHS gender care.

In the meantime, learn more of the transgender life, improve make up skills, crossdress in private and wear female underwear regularly and research potential costs for the future.

But please do not give up. Yes GD can be buried and suppressed but will come back later at a stronger rate.

I wish you success whatever route(s) you choose.

Hugs

Pamela

[Donna]

So I've posted a lot here as I've been scared confused and God know what else about transitioning.  The thing is alive been looking into treatment options and I've come to a stand still. I'm in the uk and on reference to a GIG. But I looked into how they work. It will take a year to be referee. Half a year to be offered her if I get it. And they expect you to publicly crisscross for a minimum of a year. There's a difference to been trans and a crossdresser not that anything is wrong with that but many over here agree it's ridiculous. So I'm waiting an average of 3 years and at any point could be told no.

I cannot afford private care as I'm not a wealthy gal.

That leaves self medication which sounds good in theory but has some risks. Risks that could potentially kill you of you make a mistake. The GIC will not administer meds with this but will help other areas. The thing is I have people I need to look out for and I can't risk killing myself. I'm not suicidal as I do have these people to hang onto as they need me

At this stage in lost. I've finally come out but should I put a stop to this. Accept I'm stuck in the wrong body forever. I won't kill myself or anything like that but won't feel right. Any advice is appreciated. This could be my last thread on here, of that's the case you're all brave and amazing men and women and I wish you all happy lives.

You need to decide for your self which route is the best for you. Make the transition now or wait for a doctor and then start. My choice for me was transition and then wait for the doctor. It's 30 months for the one I wanted. Fortunately his resident has set up her own practice and I have now become her patient. I could not have waited. December I came out to my wife and three months later I went full time. A requirement here is living a year as your chosen sex. No switching back and forth so all the female cloths came in and the male stuff left. All I can say is I have no regrets and hopefully when you chose which route works for you you will find the same. Once your over that initial fear of the first outside exposure it should become like second nature.
Best wishes and enjot