Need help with finding an "androgynous" haircut

[samsonavery]

Hey everyone, I'm currently 18 and living in an unaccepting environment. My parents hate the idea of me cutting my hair at all and every haircut i've ever gotten has been a compromise of sorts where I just get my hair bobbed off. I'm trying to find a haircut that looks androgynous and would please my mom who thinks im trying to "present as a lesbian." I really need help because my hair is currently to my collarbone and making me extremely dysphoric. I would cut it all off but there's a chance they may kick me out or stop helping me pay for college. Thank you!

EDIT: btw: most of the haircuts i've shown her from the first few results on google are too masculine for her liking :/

[Northern Star Girl]

Hey everyone, I'm currently 18 and living in an unaccepting environment. My parents hate the idea of me cutting my hair at all and every haircut i've ever gotten has been a compromise of sorts where I just get my hair bobbed off. I'm trying to find a haircut that looks androgynous and would please my mom who thinks im trying to "present as a lesbian." I really need help because my hair is currently to my collarbone and making me extremely dysphoric. I would cut it all off but there's a chance they may kick me out or stop helping me pay for college. Thank you!

@samsonavery
    Hello Samsonavery,  PLEASE KNOW that I am not trying to hijack your thread but I see that you had just become a member of Susan's Place.   Thank you for introducing yourself.   Please allow me to give you my Official Welcome.

I am glad that you have become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your first thoughts with other members that may read your posting.
I am thinking that you may lots more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
 
Be aware that there are a lot of members here that can identify with what you may be going through.

Please allow me now to officially WELCOME you to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others  and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
It is nice that you had signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace. 

Below, I posted Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place.  Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, there answers there to many questions that new members ask.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

[Northern Star Girl]

@samsonavery   
Oh, and another thing Samsonavery ... to let more members here on the Forums know of your arrival and therefore you will receive more involvement in sharing information of interest with you and other like-minded  members reading it will be more apt to share their thoughts with you.

If you would, please go to the  Introductions Forum  to tell the members about yourself!  You should include the key information (and perhaps more) that you wrote in your first posting here.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place,
Danielle

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. You probably should consider some form of a pixie cut, bowl cut or a wedge cut. It will depend somewhat on your facial structure and how masculine you can get away with. A good place to start looking is Hair Finder.   Hair cuts are difficult and it took me a long time to find something that worked as well as a perm. Then it took a few very bad haircuts before I got across what I wanted.

[MeTony]

How old are you? How long til college is done? Please stay safe until you are ready to leave. You will need college to get a job to get cash to manage transition.

And about hair cuts. It depends on your facial structure. A face with masculine features will look completely different than a face with female features wearing the exact same haircut.

Have you googled haircuts? Have you tried to have a bun on your head? Man bun. You get the feeling of having short hair without cutting it. The bun is easily restored to normal hair cut when you get home.


Tony

[zirconia]

Hi, samsonavery

I'm sure you know a good stylist should be able to design a cut that looks very girly when fluffed but boyish if slicked back. Of course the clothes and makeup make a big difference on the overall image as well...

Given that, do you think pictures of a very girly model with a short cut would make a difference on what your parents think? e.g.






If you think they'd might just say something like "Yes, they look nice on those girls but you'd like a boy!" could it be that they already suspect what lies underneath and are trying to battle it by hiding it with what they'd like to see instead?

[blackcat]

I've found a lot of good ideas google image searching for androgynous haircut, asymmetrical haircut, emo haircut, and ftm haircut.  There are a lot of selfies floating around on r/ftm concerning the subject of hair.

[AquaWhatever]

Hi, samsonavery

I'm sure you know a good stylist should be able to design a cut that looks very girly when fluffed but boyish if slicked back. Of course the clothes and makeup make a big difference on the overall image as well...

Given that, do you think pictures of a very girly model with a short cut would make a difference on what your parents think? e.g.






If you think they'd might just say something like "Yes, they look nice on those girls but you'd like a boy!" could it be that they already suspect what lies underneath and are trying to battle it by hiding it with what they'd like to see instead?

I was literally all of these at one point lol.
That awkward time I straightened my hair.

[Sonja]

A pixie cut is definitely the way to go IMO, and there are many different styles and ways to wear it.

Sonja.

[samsonavery]

thank you to everyone who helped me! i was finally able to get my hair cut and im feeling much better now <3

[David1987]

Try the Eleventh Doctor's haircut. I had it once and people kept saying how it looked "soft and female" lol

Edit: ah, I just saw you got your haircut, congrats! I'll leave my message for the future.

[PainKiller]

I tried getting an androgynous haircut but my mom wouldn't allow me either.
She said it would make me look older which is what I wanted in the first place since i'm short and I get mistakened as a 12 year old girl easily.
She said my baby face would look ugly in short hair. Talk about lowering my self esteem... i'm pre-t and now I'm scared I would look ugly if I cut my hair with a baby face.

[CodexUmbrae]

Congrats on your new haircut!

Btw, PainKiller, you could try and cut it gradually. I was afraid too (I have suuuch a babyface, I'm 19 and people always tell me "Oh! I thought you were 12 - 13 - 14!", so...). So, you could try and cut it bit by bit instead of cutting it really short straight away. You could try some sort of haircut to the shoulders, and slowly cutting it a little bit shorter each time. I did had a medium-length haircut and passed with it, though it was at a stage already in which it didn't reached my shoulders. So, if your mother doesn't let you, try a not-so-short cut, maybe it'd help. Or tell her directly that you don't care if it looks good or not.
In the worst case, if you cut it and really don't like the look, it will grow out again and you could use hats and beanies and things like that, specially now that the cold weather will start soon. But, if you do cut your hair, give it a couple days, at the start you could feel weird because it is kind of a big change, so if you think it doesn't look good, after some days you'll probably get used to it and realize it actually does look good.
Well, good look, and don't let your mother's words get to you.