Now I’m Nicole

[Nicole70]

I've made a few posts about this and that, and recently deleted them, I have been a bit down and doubted myself, I don't want to go into it because I'm feeling more confident now.

I've decided to start this post to document my transition and RLE, in short I started HRT proper about 4 months ago, loving the changes although I want them to go quicker.

I made the decision to be Nicole full time by the 1st of July, we'll I actually haven't presented male for about 3 to 4 weeks, I can't remember when it last was. I feel so much happier going out as the real me.

I am struggling with my weight at the moment, I have put a few pounds on in the last few weeks which has depressed me, I very much view it as a backwards step in my transition, but I'm determined to get back on my diet and loose the last bit I need to.

Went out last night with my family to a Christmas in July event at a good friends house and were joined by two other families, I went as Nicole of course and it felt so good to finally be me. In case anyone was wondering it's boiling hot here in Australia at Christmas time so it isn't the same, so a few of use get together and enjoy a turkey roast with all the trimmings in the depths of winter, no presents, just a good meal with friends [emoji846].

I have an appointment tomorrow morning with my endocrinologist, I'm hoping my levels are all ok, It's always a worry, with my last increase she was hoping I'd be in normal female range, fingers crossed.

[cliffyman1953]

I've made a few posts about this and that, and recently deleted them, I have been a bit down and doubted myself, I don't want to go into it because I'm feeling more confident now.

I've decided to start this post to document my transition and RLE, in short I started HRT proper about 4 months ago, loving the changes although I want them to go quicker.

I made the decision to be Nicole full time by the 1st of July, we'll I actually haven't presented male for about 3 to 4 weeks, I can't remember when it last was. I feel so much happier going out as the real me.

I am struggling with my weight at the moment, I have put a few pounds on in the last few weeks which has depressed me, I very much view it as a backwards step in my transition, but I'm determined to get back on my diet and loose the last bit I need to.

Went out last night with my family to a Christmas in July event at a good friends house and were joined by two other families, I went as Nicole of course and it felt so good to finally be me. In case anyone was wondering it's boiling hot here in Australia at Christmas time so it isn't the same, so a few of use get together and enjoy a turkey roast with all the trimmings in the depths of winter, no presents, just a good meal with friends [emoji846].

I have an appointment tomorrow morning with my endocrinologist, I'm hoping my levels are all ok, It's always a worry, with my last increase she was hoping I'd be in normal female range, fingers crossed.

Good day sweet be happy be well be yourself you do have friends xxx

Sent from my SM-T800 using Tapatalk

[JudiBlueEyes]

Nicole documenting your journey and it's ups and downs is a wonderful idea.  We do tend to forget at times how far we've come. I look back on my personal journal that I started years ago and it's amazing to me to see the person I've become.  You'll do the same I'm sure. 

Christmas in July, a great idea for a party with friends and family!  I understand it doesn't get terribly cold in Australia but a roasting a turkey sounds ideal.

I do hope your levels are where you expect tomorrow at your appointment.  Interestingly mine had been good for some time but then took a dive.  It was determined to be related to the time of week I had blood drawn, so now I plan to do it on one of two days for consistency. 
Judi

[Rachel]

I think it is a good idea to document your journey. I use my journey document for a few reasons one of which was to get things off my chest and use it as a bit of therapy. Then again I have come a long way and when I feel down I can look back and see how far I have come.

After a while my e pretty much was set and my T was suppressed so blood tests became routine. Now that I added back in T it has been a bit of a increase the dose a bit after each blood test to get in to the range I need to be in to maintain good long term bone health.

[Stevi]

Nicole,

Sorry you were on the downside but let's put that in the rear view mirror.  Good to know you are getting headed back in the right direction.  There are speed bumps along this road.  Take them at the right speed and don't let them jar your joints.

Stevi

[LizK]

Hi Nicole

I think its a great idea although I am biased as I started my own thread at the early part of my transition. I also began taking selfies on a daily basis...let that go to weekly now as daily is too much. I sit in the same spot and take the same shot. It has been a lot of fun and I hope you enjoy it.

I can never get that enthusiastic about those Xmass in July things either. They seem to be reasonably popular here in Adelaide....It is usually hot has haides here for Xmass.

Good luck with the diet hope you can get back to where you want to be. Hope your appointment with the endo goes well...

Take care

Liz

[Jayne01]

Hi Nicole,

So glad you started your own thread to document your progress. You will find that it helps to get things off your chest whether they be happy highs or sad lows. It will also help many others who follow your journey. I have bookmarked this thread and will be following along.

Turkey dinner sounds good. You are right about Christmas being hot in this land of ours. My wife and I will hopefully be going to Canada this year to spend Christmas with her family. It will be my first winter Christmas. I am looking forward to it very much.

Hope your endo appointment goes well tomorrow. It takes a little while to figure out the right dose for each of us. The other thing to note when having your blood test is to do it at about the same time of day and prior to taking your HRT for that day. That way the tests will reflect the lowest levels during the day and be consistent with previous tests for comparison.

Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

Hugs,
Jayne

[krobinson103]

I also wrote a journal right here and recorded things as they happened. I found it helped me organize my thoughts and realize that progress has been made. Its easy to focus on the problem of the day and forget about how far you have actually come.

[Nicole70]

@JudiBlueEyes
@Stevi
@Jayne01
@Rachel
@ElizabethK
@cliffyman1953
@krobinson103

Thank you all for your lovely words of encouragement, i'll try my best to keep my thread updated, i do unfortunately suffer from self doubt and tend to go quiet so i'll apologise up-front but i'm determined to keep positive.

Christmas was good, I made a lemon cheesecake and mince pies, my pastry wasn't as good as I wanted but they still tasted yummy and disappeared quickly. The kitchen is my domain at home, I love to cook for the family. We have a Lemon tree in the garden which I planted about 10 years ago it is now in full fruit and we struggle to use them up, there are only so many you can give away, I'm currently making Lemon marmalade, I made a batch last week and only have 1 jar left after giving some away to friends, anyone who has lemon ideas please feel free to pass them on, I have also frozen a couple of pints of lemon juice in cubes, that should last a few months.

The last two times I had my blood tests I took my morning dose at 7am before going on my morning walk and then went up to have the test at in the next suburb, about 10 minutes away, so probably about 90 minutes after my tablets, so i'm hoping for that consistency will help.

Thank you all for following my journey.

Hugs
Nicole

[Janes Groove]

I feel so much happier going out as the real me.

Congratulations on these happy changes in  your life.

[Nicole70]

I know the mantra, no images, it didn't happen.

Lemon Marmalade second batch.

[Jayne01]

I know the mantra, no images, it didn't happen.

Lemon Marmalade second batch.

I don't know that I have ever had lemon marmalade. That looks pretty good. We also have a lemon tree in our back yard that gets loaded full of lemons, way more than we know what to do with. I'm not very good in the kitchen. If the marmalade is easy to make, would you mind sharing the instructions with me?

Hugs,
Jayne

[Dena]

One of my favorite web sites has three items on Marmalade and the following are the links. I am not likely to try try them because so far Marmalade has a bitter taste to me that isn't very good. My taster is a bit wacko so don't judge the product my preferences.

https://www.evilmadscientist.com/2018/lemon-ginger-marmalade/
https://www.evilmadscientist.com/2015/orange-spice-marmalade/
http://www.evilmadscientist.com/article.php/marmalade

[Nicole70]

If the marmalade is easy to make, would you mind sharing the instructions with me?

Hi Jayne, I used the recipe in the link below, mine is a bit darker although the pictures have made them look darker still but it's still nice, also it took longer to get to the setting point than 20 minutes for me, it was about 40 minutes.

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1898654/lemon-marmalade

[Nicole70]

I saw my Endo this morning, a lovely lady who I really feel comfortable with and trust.

My levels were still too low after my last dose increase we were hoping to get my E levels up above 400 pmol/l, they are still down around 300, so i'm a little disappointed about that, my T was non-existent, so I have cut back my anti-androgen. I am to continue on the current dose of E until my next visit in October, then I am having a pellet implanted. Finger's crossed, I hope that gets me where I need to be. I can't complain too much, I already feel much better than I did before HRT.

Nicole

[Jayne01]

I saw my Endo this morning, a lovely lady who I really feel comfortable with and trust.

My levels were still too low after my last dose increase we were hoping to get my E levels up above 400 pmol/l, they are still down around 300, so i'm a little disappointed about that, my T was non-existent, so I have cut back my anti-androgen. I am to continue on the current dose of E until my next visit in October, then I am having a pellet implanted. Finger's crossed, I hope that gets me where I need to be. I can't complain too much, I already feel much better than I did before HRT.

Nicole

Hi Nicole,

Thank you for the marmalade recipe. Our tree does not have many lemons ready for picking right now, but I will hang on to the recipe for when the tree gets full again. Also, thank you Dena for your weblinks too.

It's really good you are comfortable with and trust your endo. Don't worry too much about your E levels. What's important is the way you feel. If you are feeling good, then the levels are right for you. I personally love having a pellet implant. I just got my second implant last week, the first one was in January. Not having to take daily meds for E had a really positive psychological effect on me. There is something inside me producing E 24/7. That's as close as I can hope to ever have my very own biological E factory. The implant also significantly increased my levels which, for me, feels amazing. I hope you also have the same positive response I have had with the implant.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Northern Star Girl]

I saw my Endo this morning, a lovely lady who I really feel comfortable with and trust.

My levels were still too low after my last dose increase we were hoping to get my E levels up above 400 pmol/l, they are still down around 300, so i'm a little disappointed about that, my T was non-existent, so I have cut back my anti-androgen. I am to continue on the current dose of E until my next visit in October, then I am having a pellet implanted. Finger's crossed, I hope that gets me where I need to be. I can't complain too much, I already feel much better than I did before HRT.

Nicole

@Nicole70
Dear Nicole:  Sometimes it takes a little adjusting and changing your HRT regimine to keep things going in the right direction.  Your Endo seems to be on top of things as she looks at your blood test results to figure out what to do.   
I was told by my Endo that it is sometimes like shooting at a moving target... and as your body adjusts to the changes sometimes the meds have to be adjusted...  all of what you reported sounds normal to me.

Good luck on getting your HRT dialed in.
As always all of your followers and readers will be looking for your updates as you feel comfortable posting them.

Hugs and Well Wishes,
Danielle

[Nicole70]

Dena,

Thank you for the recipe links, I'll give one or two of those a try this weekend and let you know how it goes [emoji846]

Nicole

[Nicole70]

Had a good day today, I have lost a kilo this week which has given me more confidence to go shopping for clothes. I went shopping with my wife this morning and bought two nice tops, a pair of leggings, some new nail varnish in two new colours, I'll try them out later.

I have a therapy session on Monday morning, I'm going to ask for a reference for my gender change form, then hopefully if I get that I'll book an appointment to submit my name and gender change request.

[Jayne01]

Had a good day today, I have lost a kilo this week which has given me more confidence to go shopping for clothes. I went shopping with my wife this morning and bought two nice tops, a pair of leggings, some new nail varnish in two new colours, I'll try them out later.

I have a therapy session on Monday morning, I'm going to ask for a reference for my gender change form, then hopefully if I get that I'll book an appointment to submit my name and gender change request.

Congratulations Nicole, on the weight loss and the confidence gained to go clothes shopping, and even better that you could share that experience with your wife.

Very exciting you are planning to start taking steps towards your name change on Monday. Please keep us updated with how you go.

Hugs,
Jayne