Now I’m Nicole

[Laurie]

Hi Nicole,

  I was actually glad to hear that you read the riot act to that clerk. I think if that clerk had acted so rudely to me, not only would I have read him the riot act I would ask to speak to his supervisor. Lacking that I would have noted how to contact the management of the hotel. Then I would do so. There is absolutely NO excuse for such rude behavior.
  I am glad you otherwise had a great time and even got to meet Jayne. (Your know she avoided meeting Michelle and I. She also drove right past Tia and Debi) Sheesh I hope such behavior is not an Australian trait.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Nicole70]

Taking care of your health is great! I like how you have set yourself a goal for when you see the Dr. it gives you something to strive for. Posting your weekly progress here could be a good motivator also. You will have all of us to cheer you along to make sure you reach your goal.

Wooohooooo!!!! Go Nicole!!!! You go girl!!!! [emoji322][emoji322][emoji322]

Hugs,
Jayne

Thank you for such wonderful support Jayne, I am determined at the moment and have very intention of updating my progress hopefully to keep myself in-line.

I'm playing squash tonight with my friends, hopefully I have enough energy in reserve, I'm pretty sure I do

[Nicole70]

Hi Nicole,

  I am glad you otherwise had a great time and even got to meet Jayne. (Your know she avoided meeting Michelle and I. She also drove right past Tia and Debi) Sheesh I hope such behavior is not an Australian trait.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Laurie, thank you for your kind words, as for Jayne... well what can I say, having met her in person I'm sure she didn't avoid anyone, and I'm pretty sure it's not an Aussie trait, however if she avoids you again she probably needs to dust off that fridge top [emoji23]

Hugs

Nicole

[Nicole70]

 Ok this is super weird, yesterday I re-opened the ceiling vents for the air conditioning, I close them in winter to stop the heat being lost into the roof, anyway I reached up but couldn't quite reach, didn't really think too much of it but this morning I thought about it, I can normally reach so I measured my height, [emoji50] I've shrunk, I know we get shorter with age but I measured myself before I started hrt and was 183cm I'm now 179cm, that's 4 cm in 9 months, has anyone else experienced loss of height?

I spent most of Friday in A & E, I started getting chest pain on Wednesday morning, and it got worse until on Friday morning I thought enough was enough, after tests they found nothing wrong with my heart and lungs so that was a relief, but the pain has not gone away, they said it could be muscular but weren't sure, I think I'll go to my GP in the morning if it's still not any better, it is very painful and I'm struggling to find any position that is comfortable, it only seems to reduce when I lie down.

I get my Oestradiol implant on Tuesday morning, really looking forward to that although not to the incision, yay no more blue tablets for a while!

Nicole

[LizK]

Hi Nicole

Don't worry about the incision its the needles you gotta watch...LOL

I hope you can get comfortable and find a solution to your chest pain. Things like this can be really tricky to work out. Its great that its not heart or anything similar but that doesn't make it any easier or less painful for you. Hope fully your Dr can help you find a solution.


The height thing is weird...I have it recorded in a number of places that I was  178cm tall but when I checked not long ago I was 174...in fact I told Andy Ives  nurse I was 177cm, what made me even check was when I had a Care Plan done with my Dr I had to have basics recorded. When I got home I saw the height as 4cm shorter than I thought I was...but thought I had better check anyway...you could have knocked me over with a feather...I can remember talking about my height saying I am 5ft 10inches or about 70 inches 177cm but I seem to have lost a couple of inches somewhere!!(Twilight zone music playing)


Good luck for Tuesday!!

Take care

Liz

[Jayne01]

Ok this is super weird, yesterday I re-opened the ceiling vents for the air conditioning, I close them in winter to stop the heat being lost into the roof, anyway I reached up but couldn't quite reach, didn't really think too much of it but this morning I thought about it, I can normally reach so I measured my height, [emoji50] I've shrunk, I know we get shorter with age but I measured myself before I started hrt and was 183cm I'm now 179cm, that's 4 cm in 9 months, has anyone else experienced loss of height?

I spent most of Friday in A & E, I started getting chest pain on Wednesday morning, and it got worse until on Friday morning I thought enough was enough, after tests they found nothing wrong with my heart and lungs so that was a relief, but the pain has not gone away, they said it could be muscular but weren't sure, I think I'll go to my GP in the morning if it's still not any better, it is very painful and I'm struggling to find any position that is comfortable, it only seems to reduce when I lie down.

I get my Oestradiol implant on Tuesday morning, really looking forward to that although not to the incision, yay no more blue tablets for a while!

Nicole

Hi Nicole,

I have heard reports of people losing height after starting HRT. I never really believed it because HRT cannot change your bone structure. Then I read somewhere, don't remember where, that along with muscle mass reduction from HRT, the "stuff" (technical medical term [emoji23]) between your bone joints also shrinks which all adds up to a reduction in height. That may be total bollocks, I'll be interested to know what your doctor tells you as an explanation. I never had an accurate height measurement of myself so I have no way of knowing if I have lost any height.

I'm glad your chest pain was not a heart or lung problem. I often get a pain around my rib cage that feels like I had something heavy lying on top of me. I figured out it was the sports bra I wear to work. It's a tight fitting crop top that isn't very comfortable. Apart from support, I have also been using that bra as a method of concealing my breasts at work. Thankfully I can ditch that after next week and start wearing a normal more comfortable bra. Any chance your bra might not be fitting you well and causing pain?

How exciting to be getting your implant in a couple of days!!! Yay!!!!!! Don't worry about the incision. You won't feel a thing. The Dr will give you a local anaesthetic first which will make everything numb. The anaesthetic needle has a bit of a sting but that only lasts a few seconds. The incision is tiny. Mine is about 3mm and then the pellets are inserted with a pellet inserting gizmo (another technical term [emoji12]). I didn't get any stitches afterwards. The doc put a bandaid type patch to close the incision and then a waterproof patch over the top. I kept that on for a week and the removed it and the bandaid. The incision was closed up and barely visible.

Looking forward to your report after getting the implant!

Hugs,
Jayne

[Northern Star Girl]

Ok this is super weird, yesterday I re-opened the ceiling vents for the air conditioning, I close them in winter to stop the heat being lost into the roof, anyway I reached up but couldn't quite reach, didn't really think too much of it but this morning I thought about it, I can normally reach so I measured my height, [emoji50] I've shrunk, I know we get shorter with age but I measured myself before I started hrt and was 183cm I'm now 179cm, that's 4 cm in 9 months, has anyone else experienced loss of height?

I spent most of Friday in A & E, I started getting chest pain on Wednesday morning, and it got worse until on Friday morning I thought enough was enough, after tests they found nothing wrong with my heart and lungs so that was a relief, but the pain has not gone away, they said it could be muscular but weren't sure, I think I'll go to my GP in the morning if it's still not any better, it is very painful and I'm struggling to find any position that is comfortable, it only seems to reduce when I lie down.

I get my Oestradiol implant on Tuesday morning, really looking forward to that although not to the incision, yay no more blue tablets for a while!

Nicole

@Nicole
Dear Nicole:
Without a doubt, it is well known that as we all get older we lose height....  also even though I am still in my 30's (barely) ... I think that HRT has been responsible for me losing an inch of height... down to a little shorter than 5'4" (162cm) and my shoe size is at least ONE full size smaller.  My weight has stayed about the same at 125 - 130 pounds  (57 - 59Kg)

All of that stuff is secondary to your reported chest pains.....   I will be looking for your updated report.... I trust that you and your doctor have taken care of that .....

Wishing you well... and hugs and hugs,
Danielle

[Nicole70]

I had my implant put in this morning [emoji3][emoji3]

The doctor gave me a numbing patch to put on before I attended the appointment, that helped because I did not feel the local anaesthetic needle at all. A cavity was shaped and the pellet inserted then she put in a single stitch taped me up and put a patch over it. I did not feel a thing from the procedure so that was wonderful, a great doctor [emoji16].

I booked a non urgent appointment to see my GP on Thursday to discuss the chest pain, although I think it may be reducing but can't be certain if I'm just getting used to the pain, I'm hoping it's going, if it is I'll cancel my appointment as that would suggest muscle pain that is getting better, anyway I'm still just thankful my heart was given the all clear. Thank you @Alaskan Danielle, @Jayne01, and @LizK for your concern.

An update on my weight, I managed to loose a kilo this last week, which is good but I know I could have lost more, I had some chocolate on Friday after a miserable morning in hospital so that didn't help but a girl needs her chocolate sometimes! Mmmm [emoji515]

I had a bit of a moment yesterday I went to the loo and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and it surprised me, just for a few moments I saw her, and she looked like my mum, I was so happy, I can't see it again now but even typing this it has brought tears to my eyes. I told my wife and she said yes you'd be surprised how often she makes an appearance these days, she says the sweetest things that make me happy I could have skipped out the room [emoji254][emoji254]

I dropped my dad off at hospital this morning for his operation, hope all goes well, we won't know until later this evening.

Nicole

[LizK]

I had my implant put in this morning [emoji3][emoji3]

The doctor gave me a numbing patch to put on before I attended the appointment, that helped because I did not feel the local anaesthetic needle at all. A cavity was shaped and the pellet inserted then she put in a single stitch taped me up and put a patch over it. I did not feel a thing from the procedure so that was wonderful, a great doctor [emoji16].

I booked a non urgent appointment to see my GP on Thursday to discuss the chest pain, although I think it may be reducing but can't be certain if I'm just getting used to the pain, I'm hoping it's going, if it is I'll cancel my appointment as that would suggest muscle pain that is getting better, anyway I'm still just thankful my heart was given the all clear. Thank you @Alaskan Danielle, @Jayne01, and @LizK for your concern.

An update on my weight, I managed to loose a kilo this last week, which is good but I know I could have lost more, I had some chocolate on Friday after a miserable morning in hospital so that didn't help but a girl needs her chocolate sometimes! Mmmm [emoji515]

I had a bit of a moment yesterday I went to the loo and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and it surprised me, just for a few moments I saw her, and she looked like my mum, I was so happy, I can't see it again now but even typing this it has brought tears to my eyes. I told my wife and she said yes you'd be surprised how often she makes an appearance these days, she says the sweetest things that make me happy I could have skipped out the room [emoji254][emoji254]

I dropped my dad off at hospital this morning for his operation, hope all goes well, we won't know until later this evening.

Nicole

Hi Nicole

Glad to hear the implant procedure went well, when I had it done she use a type of "gun" where she made an incision then "fired" the pellet into place then stitched up.


Congrats on losing the weight. It can be such as exercise in frustration...2 steps forward one back three sideways ....then frustration set in!!

Hope all goes well for your Dad and it all works out great.

Take care

Liz

[Jayne01]

Wooohooooo!!!! Congrats on getting the implant. Interesting how the procedure is slightly different for you, Liz and me. I guess each doctor has their own way of doing things. End result is the same though — you have the pellet inside you working it's magic 24/7.

I hope your chest pain turns out to be nothing more than a bit of muscle ache. I'll be thinking of you.

Congrats on seeing a happy reflection in the mirror. I don't know what your mother looks like, but when I met you I saw a woman.

Hope all goes well for your dad.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Nicole70]

7 month update

I've been on HRT proper for 7 months now, so I thought it was about time I posted a before and after picture, I can see a little difference and encouraged by the changes but hope for a lot more.

First image is July 2017 pre everything
Second image is from today



Nicole

[Northern Star Girl]

7 month update

I've been on HRT proper for 7 months now, so I thought it was about time I posted a before and after picture, I can see a little difference and encouraged by the changes but hope for a lot more.

First image is July 2017 pre everything
Second image is from today



Nicole

@Nicole70
Dear Nicole:
Wow... no kidding, I can most certainly see amazing changes at only 7 months of HRT....
....hang on, there is much more to come in your journey, and at this point in your HRT I am thinking that you will soon see some more changes a little more quickly... 
Please be sure to continue to keep us all posted.  Your followers want to know!!!!

Thank you for sharing with us,
I will be eagerly following your progress as I always have done.

OH, and I am so happy to see your new Avatar/Profile photo!!!
 
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle

[Jayne01]

7 month update

I've been on HRT proper for 7 months now, so I thought it was about time I posted a before and after picture, I can see a little difference and encouraged by the changes but hope for a lot more.

First image is July 2017 pre everything
Second image is from today



Nicole

7 months already! Wow! That time has gone quickly. Can't wait to see what the next 7 months will do. You look great! The changes in the before and after pics are subtle but enough to make the after pic look like a woman compared to the man in the before pic. The feminising is working well for you and I think you easily pass.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Faith]

No questions there, the changes are obvious. It'll only get better

[KathyLauren]

Nichole, as others have said, the difference between the before and after pictures is amazing.  You look very feminine in the second picture, and you look a lot happier.  It is a great choice for your avatar.

[Nicole70]

Thanks everyone for your lovely words, I still have trouble seeing me behind the masculine features but I'm happy overall that changes are happening, and that I'm happier than I've have been for a very long time. It's not an easy path we take but it is rewarding, I can't wait to see the changes by this time next year [emoji16]

I took the dressing off my implant area today and was surprised to see not a lot at all, seems to be healing quite well, I had trouble finding the scar, well it was easier when I put my glasses on 🤪.

I think I'm starting to feel the effects, I felt pretty rough mentally until Friday, I hadn't had my blue pills since Sunday and I think the implant took a couple of days to kick in. My boobs are super sore today, and my mood seems calmer, so I'll take that as a good sign.

Nicole

[Northern Star Girl]

Thanks everyone for your lovely words, I still have trouble seeing me behind the masculine features but I'm happy overall that changes are happening, and that I'm happier than I've have been for a very long time. It's not an easy path we take but it is rewarding, I can't wait to see the changes by this time next year [emoji16]

I took the dressing off my implant area today and was surprised to see not a lot at all, seems to be healing quite well, I had trouble finding the scar, well it was easier when I put my glasses on 🤪.

I think I'm starting to feel the effects, I felt pretty rough mentally until Friday, I hadn't had my blue pills since Sunday and I think the implant took a couple of days to kick in. My boobs are super sore today, and my mood seems calmer, so I'll take that as a good sign.

Nicole

@Nicole70
Yes indeed, good news...boobs being quite sore ....
... no pain, no gain.  The HRT is working!!!!

Have patience my dear friend.  Nothing usually happens very quickly with HRT, but it will happen!!!

Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

[Jayne01]

Thanks everyone for your lovely words, I still have trouble seeing me behind the masculine features but I'm happy overall that changes are happening, and that I'm happier than I've have been for a very long time. It's not an easy path we take but it is rewarding, I can't wait to see the changes by this time next year [emoji16]

I took the dressing off my implant area today and was surprised to see not a lot at all, seems to be healing quite well, I had trouble finding the scar, well it was easier when I put my glasses on 🤪.

I think I'm starting to feel the effects, I felt pretty rough mentally until Friday, I hadn't had my blue pills since Sunday and I think the implant took a couple of days to kick in. My boobs are super sore today, and my mood seems calmer, so I'll take that as a good sign.

Nicole

How awesome is it to feel the happiness and mental calmness! The masculine features are something we all see in ourselves. We look too closely at these features and they tend to stand out to us. That's why it is so important to trust what others tell us about how we look. It is the overall picture that people see, not individual features. I can tell you with complete honesty, my first impression when I met you was a woman. Absolutely no question.

I love your positive outlook, enjoying your current experience of life and looking forward to what the future may bring to you.

The implant scar is tiny. I can't identify the exact location of my scar with absolute certainty. I only know the general vicinity of where the incision was made.

Yay on the boob pain/growth!!!

Hugs,
Jayne

[LizK]

7 month update

I've been on HRT proper for 7 months now, so I thought it was about time I posted a before and after picture, I can see a little difference and encouraged by the changes but hope for a lot more.

First image is July 2017 pre everything
Second image is from today



Nicole

Hi Nicole

You look great....I have no doubt that more time on HRT will see you grinning even more...you certainly seem to have a facial structure that is complimented by the changes and as they become more pronounced you will look even better.


It's great that you are beginning to feel the effects of your implant and it is something you can definitely notice...well at least I certainly can....when my E went low a few months ago I began to notice the subtle difference and when it came back up again I began to feel that comfortable relaxed sensation that is the new normal....


Hopefully we can catch up again soon out last get together was fun.

Take care

Liz

[Nicole70]

Dysphoria has hit me like a tonne of bricks, I've been holding back the tears all day today, I have felt it coming for a few days. I don't know where it's come from. Seeing cis women makes me just feel desperate, I'm feeling like a total failure as a woman, I'll never look natural, what I feel inside nobody sees on the outside, to them I'm just a man in women's clothing.

My sister came over to visit my parents last week, I'm not going to go into any details but some extremely hurtful things were said, I've tried hard to put it behind me and I think I have, I'm stronger now and can ignore the ignorance, but I feel trapped - we are expected to visit her in Melbourne for Christmas and for various reasons it is difficult to refuse to go but I'm not sure I can take it. I know it's not good for my mental health, but if I don't go it will spoil Christmas for my family, my daughters want to see their cousins and my parents don't want there to be any issues between me and my sister.

Sorry for the rubbish update.

Nicole