Transition plan. Would love some ideas.

[Sarah_Faith]

Hi all! I'm not a regular here, but I've been here from time to time for maybe 20 years. I'm finally at a stage in my life where transition is a possibility. I'd really like to get your ideas.

I'm Irish, I'm a professor of English in Korea. I have lived here for 8 years. As far as I'm concerned, I have the best job in the world. I won't explain too much, but basically I feel I've achieved what most people never will in their lifetime in my job.

So, here's the thing... I could not continue in my job and transition. It's just not possible. So many students here are so reserved and religious, their heads would explode if I transitioned while working here. Not to mention my voice! OMG! Dysphoria central right there.

A little background about me... I'm 32. I look younger though. I have what people would call a baby face. Most people would be irritated by that, but I love that I don't have strong male features. I have quite small hands and feet. My face / head is small. My 'hips' are relatively wide. I'm thinking I could transition with only HRT and something done to my nose (it's tall and long). I absolutely want bottom surgery, it's probably my most dysphoric body part, but if I can fit in and be perceived as female, I feel it will really take the edge off the urgency.

So, if you had 50,000 dollars, were willing to throw your dream job away (cries internally ((a lot)), how would you do things in my situation?

So, I have it within my ability to work and save and get (50,000 dollars) within two and a half years. Hormones aren't nearly at the top of the list of cost, (as far as being worried about cost is concerned) but it all adds up. As I live in Korea, from what my therapist was talking to me about, Thailand could be a good option. Live there for a year, or two, transition, and then go 'stealth'. I hate that word, but you know what I mean.

Here's the thing... I'm sure I would not be able to keep my job after I transition. This is a country where more than 50% of people think that being gay isn't ok. I use that as a marker of what it's like here. I love living here; it's literally more comfortable than Ireland for me, but I would need to give up my perfect occupation in order to transition.

[Dena]

Depending on where you go for care, prices can vary wildly. With $50,000 you might get bottom surgery, a nose job and facial hair removal. As you haven't done voice therapy yet, you might not need it but if you do, it could push you over your limit. Prices in Thailand vary wildly and while you could find much lower  prices, the better surgeons tend to charge near western prices. As for Korea, that's where Yeson has his office and many member have gone there for voice surgery. I would suspect at least that area of the country would be somewhat accepting because surgery requires you stay in the area for 7 day and people don't feel like staying in their room that long.

[MissyMay2.0]

You can do some research to find out what you can have done for 50k, but transition related costs add up quickly; and there is the possibility that you could have a post surgical complication, which may require surgical correction(s).  Some surgeons do free revisions, but may require you to pay for hospital and anesthesiologist fees; and if you decide to go to a different surgeon for whatever reason(s), then, as a matter of course, you would have to pay the new surgeon's fee as well; and depending on what you need to have done, your surgical revision may cost as much (or possible more) as your original surgery. 

Electrolysis is expensive, some trans women have a lot of facial hair, and some don't, so costs vary with the individual, and the location.

HRT medicines are inexpensive, but you need to have regular labs done to make sure your estrogen and testosterone levels are where they should be; and also to check your liver function, red and white blood cell count, hemoglobin, etc.

And there are a lot of ancillary costs that you will determine during your transition, but the aforementioned examples were my primary financial concerns (I didn't mention voice therapy or surgery, because all I needed was to learn the basic principals of creating a female voice, and from there all I needed was practice, patience, and persistence until (~2 years of daily speaking) my female voice became my natural speaking voice; so I spent ~$75.00 USD on voice therapy lessons, and my pre transition voice was very deep).

[annaleaver]

If you're suicidal over your transition or as living in the wrong body then a job should not be a consideration to your future.

I think if finance is something that you give considerable weight to, know that there will be decent enough people in the world who will employ you after your transition, especially in academia. From your post I imagine the enthusiasm for your work extends beyond an arbitrary paycheck...if you love to teach then it sounds like what makes you happy is a classroom, books, and some students.

Everyone's situation is different, I'm currently transitioning through the NHS and have applied for a basic role in academia, which is difficult in itself. Goodluck!

anastasia x

[KathyLauren]

I lived most of my life in denial of who I was.  Once I figured that out, the idea of having the opportunity to be myself but not seizing the opportunity was intolerable.  Being retired took work pressures out of the equation, but I would have moved mountains to transition.  After a life of pretending, nothing was going to keep me from being real.

I guess I was lucky, not having to balance employment against transition.  But in an earlier part of my life, I had the world's best job (not to dispute your claim to that title ) and gave it up in order to be more authentically myself.  I have fond memories of those times and no regrets at all. 

Giving up that career to be more real was the right thing to do.  Had I still been working when I figured out that I was trans, I would have done the same thing.  My fears put up some resistance to coming out, but in the end, nothing was going to stop me.

So, my advice would be to be practical about making sure that you can provide for yourself and your family, but let nothing stand in the way of being your true self.

[DawnOday]

Some prep work in getting your facial hair removed. Thus far it has taken me about a year and a half. My electrologist is very busy, and wonderful. Maybe an ear piercing as kind of a clandestine reminder of your goal. One of the best things I did is to come to Gender Odyssey in Seattle where you can get step by step instruction by plastic surgeons and gender surgeons like Dr Bowers, Dr Metzler. Here is a whole list of doctors holding workshops. http://www.genderodyssey.org/seattle/seattle-medical/meet-the-doctor/  You don't need to pick a doctor there but the information they provide will help you make an informed decision when you do pick one. Well those are my suggestions. Subtle little things that will not out you until you are ready to reveal. The other great thing about Gender Odyssey is that you get to see and meet 1700 or more people just like you. It really is an inspiring week. They also have one in Los Angeles. which has already passed for this year.

[Sarah_Faith]

Some prep work in getting your facial hair removed. Thus far it has taken me about a year and a half. My electrologist is very busy, and wonderful. Maybe an ear piercing as kind of a clandestine reminder of your goal. One of the best things I did is to come to Gender Odyssey in Seattle where you can get step by step instruction by plastic surgeons and gender surgeons like Dr Bowers, Dr Metzler. Here is a whole list of doctors holding workshops. http://www.genderodyssey.org/seattle/seattle-medical/meet-the-doctor/  You don't need to pick a doctor there but the information they provide will help you make an informed decision when you do pick one. Well those are my suggestions. Subtle little things that will not out you until you are ready to reveal. The other great thing about Gender Odyssey is that you get to see and meet 1700 or more people just like you. It really is an inspiring week. They also have one in Los Angeles. which has already passed for this year.

Thankfully, Korea is the plastic surgery capital of the world. That also remains true for all related industries. If I wanted to get laser hair removal, or electrolysis, I could do so tomorrow without needing to wait. Everything happens fast here. Everything.
I have gotten quotes for laser hair removal on parts of my body that aren't visible to everyone, thus an early incognito approach is possible. I hate my body hair and have waxed it often, but a permanent solution is very much wanted.
Perhaps my biggest fear is my voice. I've been trying a few things, videos, a well-reviewed app, but I can't seem to get past sounding like a mouse when I speak. It's very frustrating and fills me with sadness. If anyone has and good tips on voice therapy, or resources, I'd be delighted to know. Thanks to everyone for the replies so far.

Sent from my LGM-V300K using Tapatalk

[DawnOday]

There are four main points, they are breathing from the stomach not the chest, forward resonance, Pitch and confidence.  Make sure to sit up straight. I would suggest downloading "DA TUNER" on line. there are others but this seems to have the most bells and whistles. With this gizmo you can view your pitch in real time. It will display where in the scale you are speaking. It also displays Hertz and Decibels. It has a pitch pipe that allows you to hear what pitch to  use as your goal. First thing you  may want to do is take a baseline in your regular voice and from there make your goal a couple notes under 1 octave. I practice at F#3 and can now maintain for over 90% of the time. I am at the point now where I can incorporate gestures, female diction tendencies. and other mannerisms like eye contact, smiles, sense of being in the moment. Lower your voice volume wise and be heard. "Eva" by Kathi Perez is a good interactive program that can be purchased on the net but only for Iphone.
https://www.susans.org/wiki/Vocal_function_exercises                      https://www.susans.org/wiki/Voice_ranges
https://www.susans.org/wiki/Voice_therapy
http://www.transgenderhub.com/7-transgender-voice-feminization-mtf-coaching-tips/
Practice makes perfect so don't give up.