Gender Resolution

[KathyLauren]

Kirsten, I am sorry to hear that you have had to move out.  I know you are sad, but that is all the more reason to not stay away for long.  Be kind to yourself.

[Emma1017]

Kirsten I am so sorry!!!  My heart and thoughts are with you.

I know that you have the strength to get through this.


Massive hug,

Emma

[HappyMoni]

Kirsten,
   I am so sorry this happened. I know you are hurting very bad right now, but I agree with Emma, you are very strong. Love you, Girl!
Moni

[Kalandrina]

Kirsten

So sorry to hear your sad news, but stay strong. You have friends here if you need to chat. I have the feeling this is where my marriage is going at the end of the year

Kally

[KimOct]

So sorry Kirsten.  This is probably the toughest part of transition.  My focus is about the fear.  That can be beat.  This is about losing your spouse.  That is harder.

I am so sorry for anyone that has to experience that pain.  Many people that transition stay together and many people don't.  My opinion is that you really can't blame the spouse they weren't looking for this but the love that is shown when couples can stay together is amazing.

I guess the only silver lining is that if someone is miserable because they do not transition then they are going to make their spouse miserable as well.  The long term good that comes of this is that both people have a chance to be happy eventually but the pain in the here and now is terrible.

You will heal from this Kirsten but for now our hearts are with you.

[DawnOday]

Kirsten... I can sympathize because of having to endure a similar explanation. Jo keeps waffling between acceptance and rejection. I went 7 years to raise the kids without thinking about my gender issues. But when the feelings came back they were too intense to ignore. Last week I attended a social gathering of about 160 trans ladies which convinced me transition was the right thing to do. I'm never going back to the person I hated all my life. He is for all intents and purposes, dead to me. I know we have established families and the idea, you may lose them is very frightening. But I have never felt more sane than when I started HRT. Depression is also gone. The stability of being whom I have always known myself to be, far exceeds the potential loss. I'll still be around as it is hard to give up completely and I would never do that. I had the opportunity to move out a long time ago but I stayed for the kids, whom are now fully grown adults. All the best to you my friend. It will sort itself all out and you will find happiness unlike any you have ever known.   

[GinaG]

Hi again to everyone on Susans,

                                               Today a number of issues came to a head. Issues that are a fallout from my gender expression.

  I was asked to leave today by my wife. I have kept none of my trans issue a secret from her and this has resulted in a final confrontation that means if I spend money on transition & dress as a woman I must leave.

I have had a strict limited budget for clothes, cosmetics, electrolysis, but the issue is bigger than just money.

Tonight is my first night away from home. I knew this would probably happen in the end. I cant apologize and stop acting as a girl, - if I do I will probably die.

I have people I can call if I fall into a hole. I must keep my head up for the sake of my sons.

This is the real cost of transition and it really does hurt. I would give transition away if I could but I can't. I was hoping for family life AND be able to transition but it is not to be.


   Yours truly,  Kirsten.

Wow.  I have been off for a bit. And just read this.   Know my heart and care is here.  I know it must hurt.   Liberation has cost so many so much.   I am sorry.   

Hugs

Gina

[Kirsteneklund7]

 Thank you so much,

                    Linde, Steph, Lexxi, Cynthia, Kathy, Emma, Moni, Kally, Kim, Dawn, Gina.

Your thoughts and wishes really mean a lot right now.

                             Love you all,  Kirsten.

[randim]

Kirsten,

Very late to see this sad news.  I am so, so sorry to hear this.  Your devotion to your family has always come through in your history, and this seems so undeserved.  Much love and a massive virtual hug to you.

[Kylo]

People can be incorrigible.

But what I know of you, I hope you'll take heart that you know it's just a matter of time. A lot of us have to deal with major changes to home life and in the end they can be all the better and a relief. They just don't feel like it at the time they begin. If you want to talk about it you know where I am.

[LauraE]

Kirsten,

So many of us have experienced the pain and loss you're going through right now. It's truly heart breaking when someone you love won't accept who you really are. We are all here for you, whenever you want to vent your feelings and fears. I'm still in the same process you're just beginning and I know the pain and rejection will stay with you for some time. We will get through it because we know we're being authentic to ourselves. We didn't choose to be transgender. We just want to be loved for who we are.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk.

Laura

[Kirsteneklund7]

Kirsten,

Very late to see this sad news.  I am so, so sorry to hear this.  Your devotion to your family has always come through in your history, and this seems so undeserved.  Much love and a massive virtual hug to you.

Thanks for the support Randi, it helps.

[Kirsteneklund7]

People can be incorrigible.

But what I know of you, I hope you'll take heart that you know it's just a matter of time. A lot of us have to deal with major changes to home life and in the end they can be all the better and a relief. They just don't feel like it at the time they begin. If you want to talk about it you know where I am.

Thanks Kylo, it means a lot right now.

[Kirsteneklund7]

Kirsten,

So many of us have experienced the pain and loss you're going through right now. It's truly heart breaking when someone you love won't accept who you really are. We are all here for you, whenever you want to vent your feelings and fears. I'm still in the same process you're just beginning and I know the pain and rejection will stay with you for some time. We will get through it because we know we're being authentic to ourselves. We didn't choose to be transgender. We just want to be loved for who we are.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk.

Laura

It is heartbreaking. I will talk when I can.

 

[KimOct]

Kirsten  This internet friendship thing is so strange, odd and amazing.  Who would have thought 30 years ago people could genuinely care about someone just by typing back and forth.  But it is real.  We know each other's stories, hopes, fears, pains, joys and dreams.

You have a group of people here that do genuinely care about you whether you can see them in person or not, you are liked and loved.

We are here for you when you need us.

[Stepheewt]

Thank you so much,

                    Linde, Steph, Lexxi, Cynthia, Kathy, Emma, Moni, Kally, Kim, Dawn, Gina.

Your thoughts and wishes really mean a lot right now.

                             Love you all,  Kirsten.

I am so happy to see you post... I have thought a lot about you the last couple days. What your going through really hits home. I feel so much for you. You are going to make it. Things will get better. We are all here for support.

Big hug....👐

[Rhonda Lynn]

Hi again to everyone on Susans,

                                               Today a number of issues came to a head. Issues that are a fallout from my gender expression.

  I was asked to leave today by my wife. I have kept none of my trans issue a secret from her and this has resulted in a final confrontation that means if I spend money on transition & dress as a woman I must leave.

I have had a strict limited budget for clothes, cosmetics, electrolysis, but the issue is bigger than just money.

Tonight is my first night away from home. I knew this would probably happen in the end. I cant apologize and stop acting as a girl, - if I do I will probably die.

I have people I can call if I fall into a hole. I must keep my head up for the sake of my sons.

This is the real cost of transition and it really does hurt. I would give transition away if I could but I can't. I was hoping for family life AND be able to transition but it is not to be.


   Yours truly,  Kirsten.

Hi Kirsten, I only recently came across your story. I wanted to reply because what you're going through is so much like my own experience of about 30 years ago. My own wife asked me to leave as my transition progressed. I too thought maybe there was some way to have a family and find a way to express my true self. However, the more I became Rhonda, the more she realised that her husband was disappearing and she didn't want to live with a woman. A couple of years later she found a husband who loves her to this day and I'm happy for her. In retrospect, I don't blame her one bit and we are friends all these years later although there were some rough moments for certain.

I will say that the time after separating from my family was the hardest. It was lonely. I hope that you have friends nearby. I was lucky and before too long a female friend became a roommate and that was a godsend.

The main thing I want to tell you is that yes, you can maintain your relationship with your children. As long as they know that your gender does not change your love and devotion to them. My adult children and I have a good relationship and they are the best thing in my life.

Stay strong, Kirsten. It is hard now, but it does get better.

- Rhonda

[Lexxi]

Hi Kirsten,

I hope that all these posts of support let you know that, no matter what, you're loved and people truly care about you. I believe Kim put it best when she said,

"This internet friendship thing is so strange, odd and amazing.  Who would have thought 30 years ago people could genuinely care about someone just by typing back and forth.  But it is real.  We know each other's stories, hopes, fears, pains, joys and dreams.

You have a group of people here that do genuinely care about you whether you can see them in person or not, you are liked and loved.

We are here for you when you need us."

And we really are here for you. If you ever need someone to talk to you can PM at any time and I'll get back to you quickly.

Keep your head up girl!! 

Lexxi
xoxo