Post-Op inability to experience pleasure or orgasm.

[PhoenixGurl2016]

It has been a year and a half since my surgery and I have yet to experience any kind of pleasure or an orgasm. I would like to, I really really would, but I can't. I don't know what to do and am too poor to fix what needs to be done. It depresses the hell out me, so I don't try any more. I hate it.

Please tell me I'm not alone because I'm jealous asf of those of u who can.

[OofWillis]

Oh, poor PhoenixGurl. I've had problems with orgasm after surgery too and know how much it is awful.. hugs, be strong

[AnonyMs]

Do you have sensation?

[PhoenixGurl2016]

Do you have sensation?

No, I wouldn't say so.


I don't think about it, i Keep myself super busy so I can not try. I tried tonight and that was a mistake. I'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight.

[OofWillis]

It reminds me when I had such problem. I'm sitting up front of the monitor and I'm crying 

I wish I be able to help

[HappyMoni]

You are not alone. This is a complicated subject for me personally. I think there are a number of potential reasons for this. It could be physical. It could be inappropriate thoughts for stimulating orgasm. It could be someone putting too much pressure on themselves. A fear of failure can cause the whole thing not to work. The thing to do is to try not to freak out. There  are some books out there for helping with this I'm sure. Sorry for your stress, but you are not alone.

[Mendi]

It also might be, that you need a right person to experience the orgasm with. I mean, a long route, getting attracted, dating and so on...and then sex...and if you are aroused enough, it might happen, with a right person. Perhaps not the first time, perhaps not the second, but it can.

But just trying to achieve orgasm for the purpose of getting it, will make it impossible.

I noticed pre-op that I lost the ability feel pretty much anything downstairs after some months, didn´t feel a thing.

But there has been few guys who I really liked and I could experience my first ever anal orgasm....and later something else, that I cannot describe, it wasn´t anal sex, but just licking me on the area where the vagina now is, made me feel something that I hadn´t experience ever before.

You need to give it time and relax. I know, you´ve heard those words before 

[jfong]

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. And as what I told others who didn't get it earlier, try to reconnect with what used to aroused you previously pre op, pre hrt. Lock on to that feeling/fantasy and just enjoy the feeling without aiming for the end. The first intention is just to make it pleasurable first, orgasm will come later once you are comfortable with all of the stimulation and can enjoy it thoroughly. It is more of a brain game, unlike our previous equipment (controlled by the little brain down there lol) we need to let the bigger brain play the role in the fantasy. At least this is the way I approach it and never give up, small baby steps.

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[PhoenixGurl2016]

I give up. There is no reason to even try and even if I could, I can not afford any correction(s). At times I think "was it worth it". No regrets through, not yet.

[MissyMay2.0]

Sorry you are having to go through this, stay strong, and don't give up hope, it's possible that the nerves haven't healed yet. Best wishes😊

[PlanetEmma]

Hi PhoenixGurl

I know exactly what you mean. Really. But there was really great advice in the messages of support. Do you ever feel turned on my someone you see? Do you ever orgasm in your sleep? That's how it started for me. And then I began to relax, and ththis took en it was the baby steps, physical closeness with someone else, the feel of skin against skin again and passion. I don't experience a huge explosion but more like a consistent wow! BTW, this took me nearly 5 years....

[PhoenixGurl2016]

Hi PhoenixGurl

I know exactly what you mean. Really. But there was really great advice in the messages of support. Do you ever feel turned on my someone you see? Do you ever orgasm in your sleep? That's how it started for me. And then I began to relax, and ththis took en it was the baby steps, physical closeness with someone else, the feel of skin against skin again and passion. I don't experience a huge explosion but more like a consistent wow! BTW, this took me nearly 5 years....

No
No

I am broken, there is no fixing me. It's the price I paid to transition, I have to live with it.

[Maybebaby56]

Hi PhoenixGurl

I know exactly what you mean. Really. But there was really great advice in the messages of support. Do you ever feel turned on my someone you see? Do you ever orgasm in your sleep? That's how it started for me. And then I began to relax, and ththis took en it was the baby steps, physical closeness with someone else, the feel of skin against skin again and passion. I don't experience a huge explosion but more like a consistent wow! BTW, this took me nearly 5 years....

Hi Emma,

Well this is good to know. I am one year post-op, and non-orgasmic.  Penetration for me is not pleasurable, be it a dilator or penis. Not horrible, mind you, but definitely not enjoyable.  I haven't really come close to achieving an orgasm through masturbation either, so it is rather discouraging.

My surgeon has recommended testosterone cream, which I have reluctantly assented to. As she says, "Sensation is not the same thing as arousal."  Very true. I have plenty of sensation, but not in a good way.  I can get some arousal if I have sexy thoughts or watch porn or whatnot - I do get some wetness down there, so physically things seem to work. It definitely seems to be more of a mental thing.

Thanks, everyone, for sharing their experiences!

with kindness,

Terri

[PhoenixGurl2016]

Hi Emma,

Well this is good to know. I am one year post-op, and non-orgasmic.  Penetration for me is not pleasurable, be it a dilator or penis. Not horrible, mind you, but definitely not enjoyable.  I haven't really come close to achieving an orgasm through masturbation either, so it is rather discouraging.

My surgeon has recommended testosterone cream, which I have reluctantly assented to. As she says, "Sensation is not the same thing as arousal."  Very true. I have plenty of sensation, but not in a good way.  I can get some arousal if I have sexy thoughts or watch porn or whatnot - I do get some wetness down there, so physically things seem to work. It definitely seems to be more of a mental thing.

Thanks, everyone, for sharing their experiences!

with kindness,

Terri

There is nothing, no feeling, no sensation, no arousal, no need thing. I am broken period.

[Devlyn]

During my transition I went through a period of reduced desire and ability, a total loss of ability, and  eventually almost full recovery of both. The  brain is the biggest sexual organ. If it's in your head that you can't/won't enjoy sex, you won't. I'd recommend a sexual wellness counselor. Good luck!

Hugs, Devlyn

[PhoenixGurl2016]

During my transition I went through a period of reduced desire and ability, a total loss of ability, and  eventually almost full recovery of both. The  brain is the biggest sexual organ. If it's in your head that you can't/won't enjoy sex, you won't. I'd recommend a sexual wellness counselor. Good luck!

Hugs, Devlyn

I would not even know the first place to start, non the less how that would help me being post op.

[Devlyn]

I would not even know the first place to start, non the less how that would help me being post op.

Google is your friend. 

https://worldassociationofsexcoaches.org

[PhoenixGurl2016]

Google is your friend. 

https://worldassociationofsexcoaches.org

*Shrug*

[Megan.]

*Shrug*

This is a community of people trying to support and help others. Appreciation for the time and energy they give voluntarily is polite, but to ask for advice then bluntly reject a good and practical response out of hand is ungrateful.


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[PhoenixGurl2016]

This is a community of people trying to support and help others. Appreciation for the time and energy they give voluntarily is polite, but to ask for advice then bluntly reject a good and practical response out of hand is ungrateful.


Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

*Shrug*