Quote from: PhoenixGurl2016 on August 17, 2018, 02:38:18 PM
... I am guessing the fact that my clit was healed over doesn't help either lol. That may be the problem? But I can not afford revision surgery, so I guess I am stuck.
Not necessarily. I don't even have a clitoris
* but miraculously can still bring myself to orgasm but my libido and interest in sex in general and ability to do this at all is tied directly into adding Prometrium (micronized bio-identical progesterone) into my HRT regime. Without it, I'm pretty flat but that's not saying I don't enjoy sex or that I don't have pleasure, it's just that orgasms are elusive and therefore aren't necessarily a goal I feel unsatisfied or frustrated about if they don't happen.
Some have suggested testosterone cream or gel but personally, the thought of that freaks me out a little even though some swear by it and some doctors recommend it. Things work best for me when my estrogen levels are a little higher than the often targeted 150 to 200 pg/mL range via injectable estradiol valerate and I'm taking the Prometrium every day. Then my desire for sex, be it though masturbation or with a partner is almost a nuisance and I can bring myself to orgasm reliably and regularly. On estrogen alone, this has never been the case for me. The progesterone has been my magic sex bullet without any of the potential side effects of higher testosterone levels. (my T is very low like 5 to 11 ng/dL)
Some say Prometrium makes them feel sleepy or woozy or weird but I've never noticed that in the least. Just hornieness. If you haven't tried it, it might be worth a shot for six months to see if it helps?
I've been on hormones since I was 17 and have probably taken every different formulation they've come up with in the 46 years since then, even some of the stuff we now know isn't good for you. I've even gone through a few periods in my life where I wasn't on any HRT at all for a several years at a time. Nothing has done more for me in the sexy time department and ability to make my stupid body have an orgasm as taking Prometrium with my estrogen. YMMV but I would discuss it with your provider. Without it, I don't even feel like having sex and orgasms become elusive, difficult and infrequent. I like it better when they aren't that. Much better!
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* Since you do have some anatomical concerns, I'll go on to tell you about my body
True story. I don't even have a clitoris. It fell off! I had surgery 41 years ago in 1977 and the technique and parts used for constructing the clitoris weren't as developed as they are in the modern era. Nowadays, the clitoris is fashioned from the glans penis leaving the dorsal nerve intact and it's pulled up through a little hole they make in the right spot above the urethra.
This animation illustrates the process if you haven't seen it.
In my case, the glans penis was used to form a pseudo cervix which was pretty dumb and pointless and the dorsal nerve was cut in the general clitoral area. A cosmetic clitoris was created from leftover corpus spongiosum which has some erectile capability and it was pulled up through that same little hole they still make and use with a suture looped around it to hold it in place. Somewhat often though, that little loop of stitch was tied too tight cutting off blood flow to the little fellow and necrosis was the result. This happened to me. I have no visual clitoris and even if I did, it wouldn't have been connected to the dorsal nerve anyway.
Commonly, natal females have a buried clitoris or it's completely hooded over and can't come out to play so the visual lack of me having one never really bothered me and none of my sexual partners have ever said anything about it. If I look really closely and move things around, I can even find the little 1.5mm hole where it would have been pulled through which is a little weird but kind of interesting. I don't make a habit of looking at my genitals though.
But, the end of my cut dorsal nerve is somewhere in the clitoral location and is my most sensate area but it takes A LOT of direct pressure to get to it. A lot more than you would think and sometimes even fingers aren't enough and I have to use something hard. A light touch, vibrators or cunnilingus feels about as good as touching my elbow which is kind of a drag but I do know what it takes for me to reach orgasm and don't really have a problem showing other interested parties what it takes.
For 85% of natal females, penetrative intercourse alone without supplemental clitoral stimulation rarely if ever results in orgasm and this has been true for me as well even if I technically don't have a clitoris. What feels good to me is still in the same area but it just takes a ton of pressure to get deep enough to hit the nerves that give me the O.
Maybe you're just being too gentle especially if your magic bits were healed over? Just a thought. I, like others are only trying to help but I certainly can understand your frustration and disappointment.
QuoteNo I did not have it for sexual reasons
I did or being able to sexually function normally was certainly a big factor for me whether orgasm was to be a part of that or not? There seems to be a taboo citing any sort of sexual motivation for having SRS that I'm not quite sure I understand but I'm a little different and there's a lot of things I don't understand.
Quotenot having sexual pleasure makes life feel like I'm missing out on an important part of being human and am broken because of it.
I'm sorry you feel that way but don't let this snowball into a self-fulfilling prophecy or get too stuck in a loop thinking that you're broken. Attitude and perception goes a long way finding happiness. Sorry if it sounds mean to say that.
