Post-Op inability to experience pleasure or orgasm.

[PhoenixGurl2016]

Don't try too hard.  It took me almost two years to have an orgasm despite playing with myself on a continual basis.  Gradually the numb parts became sensate and my first orgasm happened by mistake - I was dilating and it suddenly felt so good and then I got a little buzz and I had a tiny orgasm but it was still an orgasm.  Now I have two kinds of orgasms.  One I call my inside orgasm and the other my outside orgasm.  My inside orgasm happens when I am playing with a dildo or having penetrative sex and it is a whole body orgasm with trembling and shuddering pleasure.  The outside orgasm is when I masturbate my clitoris and rub the area just above the clitoris.  This orgasm is a more localized clitoral orgasm reminiscent of the orgasms I had prior to SRS and in fact I ejaculate a clear fluid most times.  I have no fluid ejaculation at all with my inside orgasm.  So don't give up - I almost did and I am glad that I persevered.

Take care,

Tracy

I have no motivation to even try, I have not played with myself in months despite having to dilate. I have moved on with my life and try not to think about it. It sucks, it really freaking sucks but negatives do exist, I mean it could be alot worse right?

[Avery the Grey]

For those here who are post-op and don't feel much of anything, did you guys play around much without the male fun stick when you were pre-op (like tuck and then rub, use a vibrator where the clit would be, tuck and then grind on something like a pillow or the side of a bath tub, etc) or did you just keep using those male parts up until they were gone and never really explored much without them?

[jkredman]

I'm still pre-op.  So all I'll say is this...

Playing with myself was always structured to get as close to the feeling of a woman being loved by a man that truly & deeply loved her.

Those orgasms always hit harder, were more broadly enjoyed,  and lasted longer than when I was fulfilling the male role in the relationship.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Lucie]

PhoenixGurl2016, if it is not indiscreet who is the surgeon who performed your SRS?

[PhoenixGurl2016]

PhoenixGurl2016, if it is not indiscreet who is the surgeon who performed your SRS?

Scheter In Chicago (misspelt). It's funny caz of find of mine had her surgery shortly after mind and she was able have an orgasm afterwards. It's depressing

[Lucie]

Do not lose hope, I am sure you will get it eventually, probably at a time when you will not expect it.

[Aibhilín]

Do not lose hope, I am sure you will get it eventually, probably at a time when you will not expect it.

Hope goes out the window when you find that you're lacking a clitoris. Hoping for something that won't ever come (pun not intended) is unhealthy. I'm not saying that orgasm isn't possible in other ways, but when you're null and void downstairs, it won't be coming from that region.

[HappyMoni]

I have really debated whether or not to post this. It is meant to be helpful (hopeful?), not make anyone feel bad. With that said, I was 16 months post op without orgasm. I had my first a week ago. It was small and short in duration, but real. I was convinced it would never happen, before this event. It is weird the way it happened. I started out trying to get mentally going, but not much was happening. For any of you who watched the movie Ghost, you might remember when Patrick Swayzy was trying to move the can when he was a ghost, and he couldn't do it. It was like that. It wasn't moving. The other ghost trying to teach him how to move it said you have to use your gut, not your brain to do it. So, I relaxed a little, I started moving the body rhythmically and started breathing faster and faster. I wasn't close to passing out or anything but that little bit of hyperventilation kind of allowed me to mentally let go and it happened. I have heard it is kind of like a sneeze, you have to let it happen. Use the gut, not the brain. Well, that did it. I write this rather personal account only because I wonder if this is a technique that might let others let go. Oh and make sure you have good batteries. My attempt to duplicate my can kicking was foiled by the ill timed death of my vibrator.  If you are sitting there thinking, "Well she has a functioning clitoris and mine isn't working so great," don't be so sure. For me, the clitoris is not really what made it happen. I wish my fellow ghosts luck.

[PhoenixGurl2016]

I have really debated whether or not to post this. It is meant to be helpful (hopeful?), not make anyone feel bad. With that said, I was 16 months post op without orgasm. I had my first a week ago. It was small and short in duration, but real. I was convinced it would never happen, before this event. It is weird the way it happened. I started out trying to get mentally going, but not much was happening. For any of you who watched the movie Ghost, you might remember when Patrick Swayzy was trying to move the can when he was a ghost, and he couldn't do it. It was like that. It wasn't moving. The other ghost trying to teach him how to move it said you have to use your gut, not your brain to do it. So, I relaxed a little, I started moving the body rhythmically and started breathing faster and faster. I wasn't close to passing out or anything but that little bit of hyperventilation kind of allowed me to mentally let go and it happened. I have heard it is kind of like a sneeze, you have to let it happen. Use the gut, not the brain. Well, that did it. I write this rather personal account only because I wonder if this is a technique that might let others let go. Oh and make sure you have good batteries. My attempt to duplicate my can kicking was foiled by the ill timed death of my vibrator.  If you are sitting there thinking, "Well she has a functioning clitoris and mine isn't working so great," don't be so sure. For me, the clitoris is not really what made it happen. I wish my fellow ghosts luck.

Thank you for sharing that, I wish someday maybe that will happen but coming up on 2 years, I have all but have given up on it

[Rachel]

Hi,

I have had an orgasm several times. Then I stopped using T and it became a memory. I restarted T at a super low dose and it did not do much. I am gradually increasing the T and my libido is returning.

3 months post op Dr. McGinn prescribed T. The goal was 30 ng/dl T. I was able to orgasm and I had a libido. My blood was measured to be at 80 ng/dl and I stopped the T. My libido went to zero.

My primary care doctor 3 months ago convinced me to start with T again. I was using a dab every other day. My libido is a little better but no orgasm or a very light orgasm. My T was measured to be less than 3. I just started doing T every day, just a dab and I am getting aroused. I think that is the key for me. I think I can dial in to 30ng/dl T and have a libido.

If you are not on T then consider it.

[Gail20]

IMHO the "brain" is the biggest sex organ. (yes, T is certainly a factor in both men and women) I've found thatI  have some tried and true fantasies and if I stray from them, not much happens. I believe this is because those patterns are now programmed in my mind for this result. I had surgery in August of 18.  I was 66. I had been using a vibrator (Hitachi Magic Wand - its huge) to get to orgasm, while tucked, for about 10 years.  It worked the same way afterwards. I got a new vibrator just before surgery but found it vibrated at a slightly different interval and didn't work nearly as well. (I now take VERY good care of my old one) I had my first orgasm about 4 months after surgery.  While I'm not into guys, penetration while using the vibrator, is the quickest way to a decent orgasm for me. I sometimes orgasm vaginally but mostly its centered on my clitoris. I was told by the last Dr that checked my Prostate before surgery that it was the smallest smoothest Prostate he'd ever encountered! He was 82. So, if I can give any advice, I'd say try to go back to fantasies and conditions that worked pre-op, regardless what they were, and if that works, then maybe try to create new ones you like better . . .

[PhoenixGurl2016]

Hearing the stories of people getting orgasms post op and not being able really does wonders for the self-confidence...

[Karen_A]

3 months post op Dr. McGinn prescribed T. The goal was 30 ng/dl T. I was able to orgasm and I had a libido. My blood was measured to be at 80 ng/dl and I stopped the T. My libido went to zero.

Did you have your free testosterone measured? I think that makes a difference. What affects the amount of free testosterone is the level of Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (SHBG), as it binds Testosterone strongly... and taking estrogen raises that.

I had all those done awhile back... My results were:

Code Select Expand


Value Standard range
Testosterone 23 ng/dL 20 - 50 ng/dL
Sex Hormone Binding Globulin 106 nmol/L 17 - 125 nmol/L
Testosterone, Free Calculated 6 pmol/L <60 pmol/L


Though total T is in the low normal range, the 6 pmol/L free T seems very low... and I have very little libido... That along with the amount of clitoral necrosis I had after SRS does not help.

- karen

[GoneGrl]

I hope things better for you sis!!  <3 . BIG HUGS

[NatalieRene]

Hi Emma,

Well this is good to know. I am one year post-op, and non-orgasmic.  Penetration for me is not pleasurable, be it a dilator or penis. Not horrible, mind you, but definitely not enjoyable.  I haven't really come close to achieving an orgasm through masturbation either, so it is rather discouraging.

My surgeon has recommended testosterone cream, which I have reluctantly assented to. As she says, "Sensation is not the same thing as arousal."  Very true. I have plenty of sensation, but not in a good way.  I can get some arousal if I have sexy thoughts or watch porn or whatnot - I do get some wetness down there, so physically things seem to work. It definitely seems to be more of a mental thing.

Thanks, everyone, for sharing their experiences!

with kindness,

Terri

My suggestion for starting off is to focus on the clit. It will get the fire going. I'm still not very good myself but omg my boyfriend has magic fingers. I've also found that there are toys made to massage it sort of like a vibrator.

Once you're used to that you can move onto penetration

The other thing I can add is don't force things.

[Maybebaby56]

My suggestion for starting off is to focus on the clit. It will get the fire going. I'm still not very good myself but omg my boyfriend has magic fingers. I've also found that there are toys made to massage it sort of like a vibrator.

Once you're used to that you can move onto penetration

The other thing I can add is don't force things.

Hi Natalie,

Maybe the secret is to have a partner who loves you? I have played with clitoral region until it hurts. I have pretty much given up on sex and love.

When I transitioned, it was solely for myself. I was hoping to be passable enough to be just another unremarkable middle-aged woman, but I got much further than I could have dreamed. It made me greedy. I wanted to be a fully functional woman, with a partner and a love life.

I think the net result was that I tricked myself out of being satisfied with what I had, which was far more than I thought I would get.  A lot of irony there.

With kindness,

~Terri

[NatalieRene]

My boyfriend is found of the line count your blessings and soon you will be counting sheep. I'm sorry you have no sensation down there but it sounds like you have found your blessings.

[Maybebaby56]

Hi Natalie,

In fact I have a lot of sensation in my clitoral region, and in my vagina. The latter is a huge impediment. My gynecologist diagnosed my with dyspareunia (painful penetration). She recommended pelvic floor physical therapy. I was rather dismissive of this. I thought it was mainly for postpartum women who were incontinent or whatnot. 

However, when I went to New York to see Dr. Bluebond-Langner about a possible revision, she also recommended pelvic floor therapy. So, I finally found a place that treated post-op transgenders and was amazed that the therapist could find every spot I hurt.  Unfortunately, my insurance carrier, Aetna, turned down my out-of-network request so I had to stop because the sessions were too expensive. I appealed, and that was denied, so I am going to appeal to OPM (I am a federal employee).  I think that pelvic floor therapy will be greatly beneficial to me.

IMHO the "brain" is the biggest sex organ. (yes, T is certainly a factor in both men and women) I've found thatI  have some tried and true fantasies and if I stray from them, not much happens. I believe this is because those patterns are now programmed in my mind for this result. I had surgery in August of 18.  I was 66. I had been using a vibrator (Hitachi Magic Wand - its huge) to get to orgasm, while tucked, for about 10 years.  It worked the same way afterwards. I got a new vibrator just before surgery but found it vibrated at a slightly different interval and didn't work nearly as well. (I now take VERY good care of my old one) I had my first orgasm about 4 months after surgery.  While I'm not into guys, penetration while using the vibrator, is the quickest way to a decent orgasm for me. I sometimes orgasm vaginally but mostly its centered on my clitoris. I was told by the last Dr that checked my Prostate before surgery that it was the smallest smoothest Prostate he'd ever encountered! He was 82. So, if I can give any advice, I'd say try to go back to fantasies and conditions that worked pre-op, regardless what they were, and if that works, then maybe try to create new ones you like better . . .

@Gail20, yes, I agree, and I did try some porn and fetish while masturbating, and almost thought I felt something. But gad, it took a lot of work. I don't think it's hopeless for me, but I post my experiences so that other pre-op girls will know nothing is automatic. SRS is major surgery. I do not regret my decision at all, but I was expecting much more.  I guess that is my counsel to others: manage your expectations.

With kindness,

Terri 

[Marcie237]

PhoenixGurl2016, my heart goes out to you. screw orgasms, love yourself - whatever that may mean to you, moment to moment. For myself, that is a process and I haven't really figured it out.   I often ask the "is"/guides/whatever-that-wishes-well-for-me for understanding just before I go to sleep and sometimes that may change me, but sometimes I may not realize it for a few days or a while. I did/do have to come to terms with the fact that though I had a libido, I was constantly in pain down there and after surgery, the memory of that pain screwed me. Orgasm meant excruciating pain so my brain stopped my body. Subsequent things like UTIs and the like just reminded my brain/body of that pain and shut anything down.  I find that vibrators, other than for the briefest of a second, simply seem like they burn me out and leave me "lifeless". As an aid to relaxing, I have sometimes found/find that listening to "rife" frequencies (eg on youtube, search rife vagina, or rife eyes, or whatever you wish to focus on at the moment)(I use free online convert-to-mp3 sites to download and put on a cheap little mp3 player and listen lying down).
  I do know that I need to get out and walk as that helps my psychie. sometimes it is important for me to briefly let myself be an imp, if only for myself, to have fun with myself.  I could say things like "don't ever give up", and at moments, maybe they are important, but.... A general anesthesia can really screw up my mind and I was heartened when I saw my urologist nod when I was asking the surgeon for a local for the upcoming resection. I don't think folks begin to realize the lasting devastating effects of that on some folks.
  Okay, that's a lot of words. Hopefully a tiny bit of help.  I will watch this thread closely and hope that somehow you are able to find ways to feel better about yourself. mental hugs only if okay.  sometimes we can see that thought creates.

[femchick67]

i have no sensation either im 16 years post op im not sexually active anyway at moment i think one of my infections damaged my clit