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Post-Op inability to experience pleasure or orgasm.

Started by PhoenixGurl2016, July 12, 2018, 12:50:29 AM

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Spunky Brewster

Quote from: jfong on July 12, 2018, 08:24:29 AM
I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. And as what I told others who didn't get it earlier, try to reconnect with what used to aroused you previously pre op, pre hrt. Lock on to that feeling/fantasy and just enjoy the feeling without aiming for the end. The first intention is just to make it pleasurable first, orgasm will come later once you are comfortable with all of the stimulation and can enjoy it thoroughly. It is more of a brain game, unlike our previous equipment (controlled by the little brain down there lol) we need to let the bigger brain play the role in the fantasy. At least this is the way I approach it and never give up, small baby steps.

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I second this. I haven't orgasmed lots but enough and when I did it was from previous arousal strategies. Also, invest in a small vibrator; this has helped me. I bought a small, purple one from Walgreens or somewheres.
HRT start: 03.02.2013. GRS (and BA) date: 9.13.2017.

* Thanks Obama! Seriously, without him (and PA Gov. Wolf!) and expanded Medicaid, I would never accumulated the $30,000 needed to to afford surgery.
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Rena-san

#61
I've been following this post since it popped up now. I too have desperately been hoping to find something that will help me orgasm. I am now five years postop. I had my surgery with Dr.Bowers. After everything healed I tried and tried and tried but never got anything. <Edited by moderator> So I started to see another doctor who was amazing. She listened and showed real concern. We tried estradiol creams, testosterone creams, combination creams. We tried female viagra, real viagra. We tried oxytocin nasal sprays...and still nothing. I have no sexual desire. Nothing turns me on. But I desire to have desire and the inability to fulfill that creates a deep depression. So I feel for the original poster. I'm in the same boat. I cannot orgasm. The surgery broke me. I think we may just have to accept it. I feel half human. I feel genderless and sexless now. Better than feeling male? Sure...but then I'm sure lobotomy victims felt better too. No longer schizophrenic but longing to feel emotion again. No longer sexual but longing to feel sex again.
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Linde

Quote from: Rena-san on December 16, 2018, 10:54:06 PM
I've been following this post since it popped up now. I too have desperately been hoping to find something that will help me orgasm. I am now five years postop. I had my surgery with Dr.Bowers. After everything healed I tried and tried and tried but never got anything. <Edited by moderator> So I started to see another doctor who was amazing. She listened and showed real concern. We tried estradiol creams, testosterone creams, combination creams. We tried female viagra, real viagra. We tried oxytocin nasal sprays...and still nothing. I have no sexual desire. Nothing turns me on. But I desire to have desire and the inability to fulfill that creates a deep depression. So I feel for the original poster. I'm in the same boat. I cannot orgasm. The surgery broke me. I think we may just have to accept it. I feel half human. I feel genderless and sexless now. Better than feeling male? Sure...but then I'm sure lobotomy victims felt better too. No longer schizophrenic but longing to feel emotion again. No longer sexual but longing to feel sex again.
Are you sure that it was the surgery that broke you?  I had not had any surgery but do not have any libido for several years now!  Nothing!  I can watch porn movies and turn them off, because they are boring to me!  Sometimes I think I should try to masturbate, but than I think about something different, and all the sex thoughts are forgotten again.
I simply have no libido, and sex of any kind sounds boring to me.
I don't know wat it is with me, why I don't have any libido, but could it be that you have a similar situation, and it is a psychological thing, not a physiological one?
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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Marcie237

This thought came to me before (in/for this thread), and comes to me now - something you could perhaps try. With your fingers, with the lightest touch possible, touch your hands , move them slowly so that you feel the sensation, that delicious feeling of the lightest touch, ever so slowly, also touch your lips and cheeks, touching only lightly enough to feel that sensation, close your eyes and experiment to get as much of that delicious feeling as you can, try your abdomen, close your eyes and let your mind flow into that feeling, very very slowly, let it consume you, give up to it. do this whenever you can, set aside time just to relax, just for you. Just for you and these feelings. something we used to know - learning to feel again...

I also suggest you go to youtube.com and type jacobson relaxation techniques in the search window and try different ones to see what you like.  This is something that an instructor at Purdue taught me (I was in Boston at the time) when I was almost ready for gcs, but I knew i was still wired and not sufficiently certain.  I found it in a journal at Countway and contacted him. He sent me a tape with the 2 forms - relaxing by tensing, and relaxing by relaxing. I practiced it daily for a couple weeks - game changer.  It changed my life and made my journey much easier. Yes, there were other things I learned from him, but that being-able-to-completely-relax-when-I chose was pivotal to everything else. I had experienced so much pain in my life I had to stop and learn how to completely relax, let go.  I still use this, or a form of it, every day as I continue to work through my stuff. :)
No pain, no pain. - I suggest gentle and persistent. (GCS 1975)
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