Thought it was about time to introduce myself as I became a member last February. I've made a few posts already, asked a few questions, and made a couple jokes which I'm not sure anyone really got. I sometimes make jokes to hide my fear and depression. It's not a great coping mechanism, but it's what I use to get by. I'm currently 57 years old (where did the time get to), married, and have 2 adult children. I'm also retired but continue to work to keep my mind occupied and to get out of the house. I tend to be a hermit if I'm not forced out of the house and, other than my family, I only really have a couple friends. Being in groups has always been stressful for me as I never felt I quite fit in. Come to find out, I really didn't fit in.
I've been like this all my life and have fought it so hard. If I could take or do something to be happy being male, I would do it in a heartbeat. Finally, I mentally kind of unraveled at the end of 2017, and in January I started electrolysis and February ushered in HRT. I feel a lot better mentally and I can only imagine this is how cis people feel. I told my wife about all this 3 years ago and we are still together and care for each other deeply, but since that day, we've slept in separate bedrooms, have no intimacy, and are basically roommates. My marriage is slowly unraveling and I imagine we will be separating within the year. She is starting to actively search for another house to buy. I'm actually surprised we are still together to be honest. This isn't what she signed on for and while she has tried to make a go of it, I think we both know it's not going to work out.
Anyway, I'm happy to be here and I've really learned quite a bit. I find some of the posters here quite insightful and I look forward to reading their entries. I'm just a pretty normal, uninteresting person trying to learn how to cope with being trans and trying to figure out how I am going to handle being alone after 35 years of marriage. To be quite honest, it scares me to death and I truly hope I can weather it. If you see me hanging around, please say hi and pretend to enjoy my "unique" sense of humor. You can say pretty much anything to me as I have a fairly thick skin and do not take offense at most things
Thanks for letting me hang around.
