I think some reflection before SRS is quite common. I had a 24 hour travel time from home to Thailand and I kept constantly during those 24 hours asking myself, that are you sure? At home in the airport, I thought, that I could still go home. Just forget whole surgery. During flight to Bangkok, I still kept saying that I could just take a flight back to home immediately.
In the hotel room I still kept on asking myself that are you sure? For nearly 3 days.
Checking into the hospital and putting on the patient clothes, that really was the tipping point , that this is now real, it is really happening, ARE YOU SURE?. I had about an hour, before I would be taken to operating room. I just you know listed everything why I would want to cancel surgery...and for me, there wasn´t many things...nearly anything, because the thing between my legs hadn´t worked in nearly 10 years, no connection.
So the bottom line was, that I´m not loosing anything at all, I will only gain.
The very hard self reflection that I had in advance showed in the operating room. I was there already in the operating table, nurses preparing my "material" and the anesthesia nurse was surprise to look at my blood pressure and heart beat...saying, that she had never seen someone being so calm, just minutes away from going to sleep and having a life changing surgery.
And no, they didn´t give me any pre-op meds either...and I didn´t ask, because I didn´t feel like I would have need those...