EvaT's Boring Journal

[EvaT]

It's been a minute since I last wrote an update here, but thankfully I kept track of it all in my phone and my blog that I haven't made it online yet lol.

Anyways I'll write all of my updates so far in this long post and the rest monthly or bi-monthly, and hopefully it can give some tips or motivation to transwomen who have not started HRT yet.

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February 15, 2018:

I went to the therapist to get a letter to start HRT, it was also the first time I talked to someone about my situation, which was probably the scariest situation I've ever been, and I went to Afghanistan, but even in Afghanistan I wasn't as scared as I was when I came out to the therapist.

At this time I was already starting a new work-out regimen; I completely stopped working out my upper body, and started working out my legs and butt.

my pre-HRT measurements were as follows:

Height: 5' 4.5"
Weight: 155 lbs.

Bust: ---
Waist: 28 in.
Hips: 36 in.

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February 22, 2018

I got my letter to start HRT

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Day 1

March 5, 2018

Started HRT

Blood work came out perfect, estrogen level was a bit higher than most males.

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Week 1

March 11, 2018

Mood swings: I seemed more irritated and less angry (maybe it's placebo)
Nipples: they were slightly tender
Skin: slightly softer and smoother( possibly placebo as well)

Body Measurements:

Height: 5' 4.5"( later at night)
Weight: 147 lbs

Bust: 36 in.
Waist: 29 in
Hips: 36.5 in

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Week 2

March 19, 2018

Nipples were more sore and slightly bigger( not placebo)
Very stressed out

Body Measurements:

Height: same
Weight: 147 lbs.

Bust: 36 in
Waist: 30 in
Hips: 37 in

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March 23, 2018

Went to the Sperm bank and froze 5 vials

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March 26, 2018

First laser session

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Month 1

April 5, 2018

Nipples were a lot more sore and there were two hard lumps underneath the nipples
Skin seemed more softer
Butt seemed more fuller and less concaved

Body Measurements:

Height: same
Weight: 146.5 lbs

Bust: 34 in
Waist: 30 in
Hips: 37 in

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Week 6

April 19, 2018

Breast buds went from pea size to grape size
Areolas were puffier and shinier
Face seemed more feminine, and people started starring at me( probably confused)
Skin much more softer, and fragile. tattoos gave me huge bruises
No random erection, no sex drive

Body Measurements:

Height: same
Weight: 146 lbs

Bust: 34 in
Waist: 30 in
Hips: 37 in

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Month 2

May 5, 2018

Breast were visible! tiny but they were there!
Nipples no longer sore
Nipples and Areolas still tiny
My face had gotten a lot more feminine; my brutally honest grandmother, told me I'm probably adopted because I was better looking than my mom and dad, and my mom agreed lol
Still had lower back fat which never went away even when I was highly active
8 pack abs dissolved sadly and thankfully
body hair thinner

Body Measurements:

none

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Month 3

June 5, 2018

Breast was getting bigger, still small though
hips and butt was getting fuller and bigger
losing upper body strength, but still muscular
Face kept getting more feminine and softer
dysphoria comes and goes
slightly more emotional, tears fell unwanted
a lot more food craving

Body Measurements:

Height: same
Weight: 148

Bust: 35 in
Waist: 31 in
Hips: 37.5 in

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Month 4

July 5, 2018

Breast kept getting larger
nipples and Areolas same size....(huge dysphoria)
Been hitting the gym hardcore
thighs getting thicker thankfully not muscular
a lot more emotional
mind is a lot more clear, able to study and tackle things with a lot more ease, maybe not related to HRT, but the relief of starting HRT made my mind a lot more clearer

Body Measurements:

Height: same
Weight: 146.4 lbs

Bust: 35 in AA?
Waist: 30 in
Hips: 37.5 in

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so yeah that's pretty much it for now, my 5 month mark is coming up next week so I'll write another post then.

[LexieDragon]

Honestly, not terribly boring at all. Interesting actually! I hope all goes well from here on out!

[EvaT]

Honestly, not terribly boring at all. Interesting actually! I hope all goes well from here on out!

Haha thanks! I can't wait to see what life has in store for me!

[pamelatransuk]

Hello Eva

We corresponded on your earlier thread 15June on the HRT Board - MTF Finally Coming Out Need help and Advice and I PM'd you 16June. You may wish to post this Journal on HRT Board but that is up to you but the journal is certainly NOT boring. It is always both interesting and uplifting to read other transitioners' HRT records.

You may wish to record your 3 Month Estrogen and Testosterone Blood Test Results if you wish but I completely understand if you prefer to keep them private. Also you may wish to see others BT readings on HRT Board either in their personal thread or in the thread "Comparison of Estrogen and Testosterone Blood Test Readings after 3/4 Months".

I am so pleased you are making good progress after 5 months and I wish you continued future happiness.

Hugs

Pamela

In August I shall be letting everyone know of my HRT Progress after 6 months on HRT Board as I am 24 weeks HRT now.

[EvaT]

Hello Eva

We corresponded on your earlier thread 15June on the HRT Board - MTF Finally Coming Out Need help and Advice and I PM'd you 16June. You may wish to post this Journal on HRT Board but that is up to you but the journal is certainly NOT boring. It is always both interesting and uplifting to read other transitioners' HRT records.

You may wish to record your 3 Month Estrogen and Testosterone Blood Test Results if you wish but I completely understand if you prefer to keep them private. Also you may wish to see others BT readings on HRT Board either in their personal thread or in the thread "Comparison of Estrogen and Testosterone Blood Test Readings after 3/4 Months".

I am so pleased you are making good progress after 5 months and I wish you continued future happiness.

Hugs

Pamela

In August I shall be letting everyone know of my HRT Progress after 6 months on HRT Board as I am 24 weeks HRT now.

Thank you so much! You're flattering me lol.

Yes! I'll definitely post my blood work no worries. So far I've had 3 blood work( including the initial one) and I'll have another one at the end of this month. Once I get that 4th blood work I'll post all of them in one single post I'd that helps!

And yes! Please do! I always love to see how everyone is doing who's going through the same things I am, makes me feel like I'm not fighting  alone

[EvaT]

Month 5 HRT


Another month has passed... as always I'm a day late on the update.

First things first, below are my current measurements followed by a summary of what's happened in this whole month:

Height: 5' 4.25" ( -0.25 in)
Weight: 142 lbs ( -4 lbs)

Bust: 35 in ( 0 )
Waist: 29 in ( - 1 in)
Hips: 37.5 in ( 0 )

For many years( back in mid 2000s) I've read from many other transwomen on how they've become shorter or their feet went a few sizes down, I was always skeptical about it since HRT can't shrink bones. But as written above, I'm 1/4 inch shorter. Last time I measured my height was a few weeks before starting HRT once as soon as I woke up, and later at night. Both checking a few times to make sure there weren't too much errors. I measured at 5'5" in the morning, which was the same height as I was back in my Marine days, while at night I was 5'4.5", with a 1/2" difference between early morning to night. However, my inseam remains unchanged, so I believe the shrinkage comes from the spine. Because bones can't be changed by HRT, unfortunately, I believe it has to do with the intervertebral disc. Furthermore, they say that you lose about an inch from the age 30 to 70. But I just recently turned 30, so I highly doubt it played a role in the 1/4 in loss.
Regardless, I did lose that 1/4 in, which is most unfortunate for me. Since I've always admired those tall slender models... not that 1/4 inches would help me case lol.

Next up is my breast, they're definitely larger now, from the side view it looks like a small tear dropped breast. Although they're softer; the breast buds are still pretty hard, and I occasionally tender. Unfortunately my nipples and areolas are still microscopic, so I'll ask my doctor at the end of this month if he could prescribe me progesterone, and I'll cross my fingers it'll help my case.

My face seems a lot more feminine, this might be placebo, but how old dot net sees me as a woman every picture I use and 5 - 10 years younger.... woo hoo! People are now staring at me, some kind of seems a bit confused, until they hear my voice, then they call me sir, which I don't mind since I'm not even full time yet.

Body hair is surprisingly thinner, sometimes I forget to epilate my body, since it's so thin.

Skin keeps getting smoother and softer, I love rubbing my legs when I'm studying or watching TV... sorry I'm kind of weird.

I still wear 7 US mens( or 8 to 8.5 US womens) shoe size, but my feet does seem a bit slimmer, again, this might be placebo, but the extensor tendons on my feet are a lot more prominent. Regardless of being an ectomorph, my feet is/was chubby, so seeing it slimmer boosts my self image.

Emotionally I'm back to my old self weirdly enough. On my 4 month update, small little things were making me have teary eyes, but all of that is gone... unfortunately.

Sexually I don't get aroused anymore, I was never a sex demon to begin with, so now it doesn't even cross my mind.

Not HRT related, but my mentality is much more diligent now. I'm able to learn a new language, programming language, hobbies, and absorb most of the subject. This might be due to the fact that I just turned 30, so subconsciously my mind is like " oh Sh!t! I'm already 30 and I don't even have my ish together, I better do something about it or I'll be living under a bridge"

I still want to lose 17 lbs. Getting me down to 125 lbs. Hopefully I see some crazy loss on the upper body muscle mass, because I still think I can lose quite a bit up there.

In short this month has been by far the best month so far in regards to HRT, of course.

[Northern Star Girl]

@EvaT
Dear Eva:
Please don't be so hard on yourself....  your Journal is NOT BORING at all!!!!!

Thank you for posting your detailed updates as you continue your exciting journey toward your goals.

From your measurements and other information in your update it is evident that you are progressing very nicely for only 5 months of HRT.... and there is obviously much more exciting stuff to come for sure.   All the things that are happening to you are right in line with what a lot of others have reported.
 
The HRT journey is an exciting ride... full of successes and happy moments but also there can be times of disappointments and frustrations...
...Here on the Forums we will rejoice with you when you have good news and we will support you in our thoughts and with our words when things don't go so well.

I will be following your Journal and checking in on your thread and other postings to see how you are doing.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[EvaT]

@EvaT
Dear Eva:
Please don't be so hard on yourself....  your Journal is NOT BORING at all!!!!!

Thank you for posting your detailed updates as you continue your exciting journey toward your goals.

From your measurements and other information in your update it is evident that you are progressing very nicely for only 5 months of HRT.... and there is obviously much more exciting stuff to come for sure.   All the things that are happening to you are right in line with what a lot of others have reported.
 
The HRT journey is an exciting ride... full of successes and happy moments but also there can be times of disappointments and frustrations...
...Here on the Forums we will rejoice with you when you have good news and we will support you in our thoughts and with our words when things don't go so well.

I will be following your Journal and checking in on your thread and other postings to see how you are doing.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Thank you so much Danielle! I'll continue to post my updates! And I can't wait to see how much more HRT will help me.

You guys really helped me out, you have no idea! I used to come to susans like 10 years ago maybe longer under a different name, when I was like 20 years old. And it has always been a source of inspiration and information.  So I'm truly grateful!

[EvaT]

Month 6 HRT

Wow! I can't believe it has been 6 months already! That's half a year! And so far I'm very happy with the results, but nowhere near where I want to be. For this month not much has changed, but I can see some subtle changes.

Before I write down the changes I'd like to mention that I didn't go to the gym for pretty much this whole month, due to a allergic reaction I had from the bug(s) near the lake. So I was in an almost severe pain that subdued just a few days ago -- I couldn't even put on my shirt without having a burning sensation all over my back or ribs. The burning sensation is still there but it's only noticeable if I touch it.

The biggest change I've noticed was my butt, it's not bigger, but it feels so soft and bouncy. I do believe that my hip measurement did drop by 1/2", possibly because I didn't go to the gym for a month.

My thighs are pretty thick as well, it's looking like those fitness Instagram girls with very thick thighs. I'm not sure how I feel about that, sometimes I like how it looks, sometimes I wish it was long and slim like those lingerie models.

One thing I forgot to mention in the first few paragraphs is that I started taking progesterone like 10 days ago. About 3 days ago my breast started getting sore again, the breast buds have become the size of a golf ball, and my nipples got puffy again... yay!😊

Everything else possibly changed but hard to notice a difference. But I'm pretty sure if someone I haven't seeing in a month saw my today, they could spot something different, who knows.

I recently became a reiki master so I've been able to keep my emotions in check, and my mind in focus. But a few days ago I kept stressing out about my life situations -- for those who don't know, I lost over $70k in investment including stocks, real estate, and bitcoin( I know, dumb move). Because I was so comfortable with life I only concentrated on my investments and travelling. Once I lost pretty much all my investment money, I decided to start coding in order to get my life back on track and find a job.

Now that I'm almost done with my training I'm starting to get cold feet, since I haven't work for anyone in a while.

Also, there's the "still being closeted" situation, and gender & name change for me will be a little more complicated since I'm not an American citizen. Since I was in the military it would be a lot easier for me to become one, so I think my best option would be to become a citizen.

Anyways with all that being said, I added a short meditation session every morning when I wake up, and it has helped me immensely. So regardless of having all these obstacles, I'm able to keep my energy in place.

Here's my monthly measurement:

Weight: 143.2 lbs

Bust: 35.5" (+0.5") 🙌
Waist: 30" (+1") 😭
Hips: 37" (-0.5") 😭