Hmm. Masculinity in Western society is facing a crisis. But then so is Western civilization - it's afflicted with nihilism, consumerism, a loss of meaning as we propelled head-first into postmodernism and an "everything is relative" mindset, losing reverence for the values and sacrifices that built our society. It's hardly surprising. But anyway, masculinity - contrast it with how it's viewed in other cultures and societies to see that we definitely demonize it and belittle it at the moment, as well as often belittle men as a group. Which is ill-advised - not only are masculine qualities and bodies required in the building of societies but also in the protection/preservation of them.
Some of the core principles of "traditional masculine values" would be taking responsibility, self-reliance/independence, competitiveness and a desire to achieve things, assertiveness and having self-respect and gaining respect from others (for your actions). Respect is typically very important to men - you'll find slews of men on the internet who are very unhappy and it's largely because they do not have the respect of their peers, or of women, which is why they don't respect themselves, which leads to depression. They can typically gain this respect by doing the other things I mentioned above: take responsibility for their own lives and well-being; stop relying on others and become self-sufficient, i.e. get a job, get educated, excel in a field, buy your own home, learn how to protect yourself, etc. etc.; be competitive and strive to be the best at what you do, which will generally lead to achievement, satisfaction or recognition of some kind, and so on. Men have traditionally been valued (and still are) for what they bring to the table: things like expertise, wealth, protection, provision. This makes them valued, which in turn makes them value themselves, and makes them more valuable and desirable to women. Not every man in interested in these things, but for the most part and on average, this directly affects most men.
Hardly a shocker to see men feeling "in crisis" when masculinity is now treated by Western society as something brutish and crap; when competitiveness is seen as "too aggressive", instead of that which makes people strive for brilliance, and we see the dissolution of the concept of meritocracy in favour of opportunity of outcome; when men are not really allowed to have men-only spaces any more in which they can act like men - they must often allow women into those spaces now and behave in a manner the women find acceptable... so they find less places to be relaxed and "be themselves", and must "feminize" their behavior and way of speaking to meet this standard; men are just not openly respected as a group any more, since it's more acceptable to disparage them openly and publicly - they are often characterized as violent, rapey and/or simply stupid; and they are falling behind at school... perhaps because it's been demonstrated that most schools are now mixed sex and the teaching methods are better suited to girls (not to mention the examples of teacher bias toward upmarking girls and downmarking boys on the basis of gender, which has been discovered recently).... I could go on but you likely got the point. Femininity is more often praised and seen as good, while masculinity is now seen as something bad, something to be tamed and/or dispensed with altogether.
Young boys are not being taught about the positive aspects of masculinity in wider Western society or by the establishment or in academic institutions - perhaps some are by their fathers... I hope so, anyway, but no, the reinforcement of that went out the window in the society we began to enter post-war in the 60s I should say. There was a collective demoralization, and a postmodernist movement that swept away all the old values. Unfortunately, it's started to sweep just about all meaning and notion of responsibility from people's lives, as well. About the only concept left people cling to with any fervour is that of "equality" - which I have to say, probably isn't completely compatible with the competitive nature of the masculine... especially now that it has begun to directly target men and demand they stop behaving "like men". All the rest are gone - religiosity came under attack, traditionalism came under attack, we're left with a rather bland world of narcissism and "pleasing ourselves". Older values of being a part of a larger whole, sacrificing for that whole, a long-term vision for the future..... all gone. Perhaps it is the symptoms of a society which hasn't known great collective upheaval or hardship, like the WWI and II generations did. It has no use for masculinity, and men are left to drift.
Still, I see subtle signs that a return to traditional values may be on the way back. Hardship is coming, one way or another, whether through economic shifts, crashes, and upheavals, and almost certainly demographic ones, which will come with its own host of challenges, and in a harder world, masculinity will be required. We won't be able to afford to disregard it, or denigrate it any more. I am not looking forward to a harder world, but certainly it will give us goals and a sense of purpose again to rebuild it.
As for myself, I was raised with the expectation that I take care of myself, that my problems were my own to sort out, that the world doesn't owe you a living, and that I ought to strive to do something worthwhile or even "great" in life. I was raised as boy would be raised, quite honestly, in a more old-fashioned sense. It was quite ruthless in some respects - nothing was sugar-coated, there was no time for my tears, and I was supposed to transcend my class and come home having done something worth talking about. I'm not exaggerating at all here. A great deal of expectation was put onto me. I did have a capable father figure who taught me "masculine life skills" like carpentry, DIY, survival skills, martial arts. I did not necessarily associate them with "manhood" at the time, but I didn't associate them with femininity either, since I was almost completely blind to feminine matters, or my own, and my mother - like many mothers - didn't see it as her concern to teach me practical life skills. I was not taught anything in the context of manhood - only in the context of "competitiveness"... being better than the other kids at school, getting the best degree at university, achieving something in life, etc. These things were expected by my mother who was projecting at the time, since she herself was denied access to university until I was practically an adult myself. She expected "great things", and has never listened to or indulged any sign of weakness from me. The result seems to be that I was a lot more mentally competitive than a lot of men I encountered in life, and usually very much more than most women.
They didn't intend to instill me with masculine values. I know in retrospect what they feared was that I would become someone trapped in poverty and unable to escape it if I wasn't well educated and competitive. They were lower class snobs, essentially, lol. They hated being lower class and wanted more - and my mother actually did achieve that in later life, so she was very serious about not being a waster in mine. I recognize now that many masculine values and teachings were imparted nonetheless; but if there had been a boy in the family - an older son especially, this would probably not have been the case... they would have projected onto him, and I would perhaps have had a softer, easier life with them, without much expectation. But there being no male kids, and me being the eldest as well, I got the brunt of this teaching. Was it outmoded and outdated? No, it's timeless. Being self-sufficient, capable and assertive is timeless and rational if you want to get somewhere in life. It applies to anyone really, but is especially important for men since society is not so inclined to catch them if they fall, and men aren't human beings they are human doings, as I've heard someone cynically put it. But it's true - men have to have acquired, achieved or posses some value in life if they want respect in this society. They don't get it just for being men. I suppose in some ways I was very lucky to have received such an upbringing - I have never found myself in a situation I could not easily deal with, or find a solution to and I'm mentally resilient and not prone to giving up.
The masculine ideal I aspire to is pretty much how I've described - self-sufficiency, self-help and self-betterment. I rely on other people as little as possible (from a mental desire to always be prepared for the worst and to be ready for it, but not afraid of it - another rather masculine quality) and I try to be pro-active, not passive. Nothing comes of doing nothing. It all seems like basic logic to me if you want to teach a person to be a doer in life, or a winner... teach them at least some "masculine values".
