Quote from: elle's bells on December 24, 2018, 05:55:21 AM
As we walked, and giggled and whirled from sight to sight. I didn't feel like her husband. I felt like her best friend. And it frightens me. She is so stunning but do I have any right to keep that smile to myself? Doesn't she deserve to be cherished in the way a man cherishes a woman? ...Don't I? I can't fill that role in her life. I want to because I'm afraid of what it means if I don't, but also, I don't want to. I love her deeply, madly. She's family. She's my heart. But these new feelings, they might be a kind of sisterly bond just as strong but entirely different from the one i shared with her as her husband. I need to think on this. I'm sorry to bum you out this close to Christmas. I want to be the example of the couple that makes it through the fire of transition together, stronger! But maybe that's a fairy tale...
Happy holidays to you all,
I will be thinking about those thoughts as well. The more my wife supports me, the more I feel our relationship changing. Our anniversary a couple days ago had a very different feel to it. We both had fun, but there was the definite "Husband" character missing from it. She seems happier than before, and I'm glad...but I can't help but think how long it will be before she needs that strong male figure that she thought she was getting from me.
The reality is that I may end up feeling the same way, or feeling like I need someone who wants to be with a woman. Right now I am just living in the moment with her and enjoying the new changes and happiness that we are currently experiencing.
Something tells me that this situation of a supporting wife turning into a supportive sister/girlfriend, if it happens that way, will be a hundred times less painful and shattering than a gentle ease into a mutual realization that both parties need something more.
Of course, throw kids into the mix and that brings in a whole other equation to consider.
There is so much to consider and prepare for, but maybe it is best to ride things out with these thoughts on the back burner so as not to drive oneself crazy!
Quote from: elle's bells on December 31, 2018, 09:37:04 PM
My cousin accidentally outed my transition to my sister because she found me on Twitter. So I fessed up to everything and shared my story of the last 12 months. My sister was fairly cool about the whole thing compared to the nuclear meltdown she had when I came out as transgender a few years ago. Apparently, she told her kids I was trans too but never told me she told them which... not cool, man?
I'm kind of relieved but also my sister will probably out me to my father so the clock is ticking on that big reveal. you know what? I'm okay with it. It's almost time.
New year, new me, huh?
I would be lying if I said that having members of my family that know i.e. Mom, Dad, Older Sister and her Husband out me to the rest of the family wouldn't be a relief for me! I still feel like I need to tell my younger sister, especially after chatting with her Christmas day dressed in Lacy mode. Besides that, I honestly don't plan to tell anyone else until I am nearly finished.I do think that family should be respectful though, and if they tell others, to at least let you know that they did. Family can be unthoughtful even if they genuinely are not trying to be. As many other woman on this site have told me, no matter what happens, or how family reacts, always try to stay the bigger person and don't do or say anything you will regret later. We are judged harder by others, but that can be a good thing when you take people off guard with your positivety and non-pettiness. Good, along with bad, will make a bigger impact.
Lacy
