Hello Emma
I just wanted to jump in to let you know what I've learned in my marriage of 38 years.
Your wife really isn't losing you you're still the same person she married. Although I know this is not what she signed up for but remember the For Better or For Worse in sickness and in health thing that you both agreed on.
Well I just wanted you to know this is how my wife took it
When two human beings are in love and especially get married and live together as long as you two have there is something that transcends things even like gender.
I would imagine after all these years she really cares for you and definitely wants the best for you, but she might need a little more time to process and work through this. I think once she realizes that you had no choice in this whatsoever, it's merely the way that you came out of your mother's womb.
Okay here comes the in sickness and health part.
Well I guess we were all born sick with gender dysphoria but that word did not exist back when we were born, but it is established as a truth now. And she took the wedding vows and agreed on them. So in all reality what's the difference between what we have and some other disease or sickness like cancer or heart disease or something where she would have no problem to Stand By Your Side and help you through this.
If she can just get through the social taboos that are ancient and need to be accepted as any other sickness.
It's not a lifestyle change, like one day you just decided, oh I'm going to be trans you had no choice whatsoever in this and I hope your wife realizes this it's nothing weird, it's nothing freakish, it's nothing to really be embarrassed about once you get over the ancient social taboos.
I myself waited way too long for treatment and literally broke down and was completely unfunctional.
My wife has always known what the core problem or issue that was causing all of this and she was the one pushing me for treatment because she knows I'm still going to be the same person, we still have the same past, we're still just as much or more in love as we have ever been.
My wife really wants me to be healthy and functional and she sees this happening to me and I've only started HRT about 2 months ago.
It's so obvious that my life is changing so very much to the positive that she would never let me stop treatment because things are just getting better and better for us.
I really believe that if your wife understood this she would stand by your side just the same as any other sickness.
The one thing you've got going for you is the magic of love.
You two have been together for so long you sure don't need to lose this over you being sick.
I most sincerely hope your wife takes the time to learn about your sickness and realize you were born with it.
I think that if you give her enough time she might realize this to.
If PM,ing me or even have your wife talk to my wife might help please feel free to do so.
All the best to you dear I most sincerely hope the both of you stay together and work through this.
Love Tatiana