Kim are you trying to talk me into golf? I'd still rather transition...
Moni and Kim:
I know this is not linear. Transitioning is sloppy and emotional and totally logically illogical. I am so slapped around 24/7 by feelings that include anger, sadness, loneliness, joy, humor, fear and doubt.
I don't feel shame (definition:
a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.) anymore because I absolutely know it's not my fault. I won't pass right away or maybe never will but my attempts are never foolish, they are my learning exercises.
Whether I transition or not, I will always be surrounded by people judging me. I never let someone else judge me that I don't respect. The key is to have respect for yourself. From that comes the confidence to be yourself!
Moni I have watched GIRL a couple of times now. It demonstrates that immense power driving many of us that gives us the will to overcome all odds to be who we must be. Her solution just shows how desperate the solution can become when none are offered. Notice in the last shot of the film the firm confidence on her face as went on with the rest of her life.
Fortunately the real girl never had to use that solution.
I do know that the drive to transition for me is extremely power, so powerful that I accept I am transitioning and hoping that my wife can accept that and that we stay together.