Which hurts less

[Emma1017]

Sephirah, just write and your words and your thoughts will begin to gel.  Give it a serious shot and thank you for your nice compliments as always, even if I don't believe any of it.

Thanks Lori, Chrissy, Ellen and Davina. I will try not to scar the next generation.

Apples??? I thought teachers get bottles of bourbon at Christmas. That's why I took the job...

 
 

[Emma1017]

I recently wrote this on another site but I thought you all would appreciate it here:

A neighbor who had no idea that I was transgender invited me to a bourbon-tasting party. I like bourbon and the neighbor and I get along pretty well. So do our wives. Not too close but pleasantly social.

I brought a bourbon I had never tried. There were five of us, so five bourbons to try in a blind taste test.

The host was a recently retired army colonel. Joining us was another colonel, an FBI agent, and a NYC fireman.
I was behind enemy gender lines.

I was OK because it's a role that I have played for a lifetime. The role became part of who I am but Emma is who I am.

I talk "guy" but I am not a guy.

But just because I speak French doesn't make me French, either.

It was a "guys" night with bourbon that went on to 1 am. We got through most of the bottles and the conversations went on without gender coming up once.

I had a good time. I stayed "guy" and only spoke "guy" all night. I kept wondering what the reaction would be if they knew that I was a transgender female.

I have a pretty good idea that it would have been my last invitation.

But maybe not. There are no guarantees when you out yourself but I feel that most men can't understand how a "normal" guy would ever want to be a female, must less claim that they are one.

Most guys like tangibility.

Gender is intangible. Like love and God, you either you believe or you don't.

My daily gender presentation still screams "guy" but when I present as Emma, my heart and soul scream "FEMALE" in two-part harmony.

The party broke up at 1 am leaving a lot of empty bottles of bourbon.

A successful guys night undercover.

I went home and ordered a new liver on Amazon.

Maybe I should have ordered two...

I have learned that ladies' nights can be just as dangerous!

[Emma1017]

Bit by bit I am getting Vanessa to explore more of NYC.  She's a Queens girl.  She's like an out-of-town guest.  It's fun taking her around the Manhattan neighborhoods I grew up in.  She won't let me take her picture but she loves photos with the street murals in the background.

Today was Chinatown in depth.

           

[ChrissyRyan]

When do you start at the school?

Chrissy

[Emma1017]

Hey Chrissy!

I got my firm's compliance ok today but there is a bureaucratic paper work issue at the Department of Education. 

Totally classic!

[Lori Dee]

Today was Chinatown in depth.

           

Love that smile!

[Emma1017]

Yesterday was rough.

Just like every year,9/11 hits me very hard. I lost many friends that day and, sadly, more lately.  The guys who worked the World Trade Center pile for the weeks afterward are all sick with some condition and many have died.

I despised all the politicians for using the day for political gain.

[Sephirah]

I am sorry for the late reply to this.

I know you are a city gal. The whole of your cities in the US are like... we don't have this anywhere else in the world. Probably because your cities are like what most other people would consider countries. But I know this hits you hard every year, Emma. And I will never forget where I was when this came through. Literally all the UK military came to a violent halt. It was a giant, massive sea change in foreign policy, because a few bearded nutters thought they weren't getting enough virgins. Utterly abhorrent.

[ChrissyRyan]

Yesterday was rough.

Just like every year,9/11 hits me very hard. I lost many friends that day and, sadly, more lately.  The guys who worked the World Trade Center pile for the weeks afterward are all sick with some condition and many have died.

I despised all the politicians for using the day for political gain.

I hear some survivors are getting early onset dementia.  That is awful.

Chrissy

[Emma1017]

Thank you, Chrissy and Sephirah.

I was scheduled for a meeting in the South Tower but forgot some materials. I was headed uptown on the subway when the planes hit.  My incompetency saved my life.

Fireman friends of mine who survived, shared their stories with me because they had nowhere to go with their stories.  I listened to them all.  I have nowhere to go with their stories, except in my heart. I will never share them.

I will always honor those guys.

[ChrissyRyan]

Emma,

NYC has some great tasting tap water.  Neat little neighborhood groceries too.  There is a fun boat ride tour around Manhattan.  Upcharges exist for using credit cards at many places but in essence that provides a cash discount, depends on how you look at it.  Good food variety.  It also has Emma, that is a big plus.

Chrissy

[Emma1017]

Chrissy that was an impossibly lovely compliment. Thank you.

[ChrissyRyan]

Chrissy that was an impossibly lovely compliment. Thank you.

Awww shucks!

Chrissy

[Emma1017]

Chrissy  "Awww shucks!"....I love it!


It should come as no surprise to anyone who has come into contact with any bureaucracy that my application to be a substitute teacher for the New York City Department of Education has gotten screwed up.  I started the process on August 21 and their computers screwed it up three times.  They can't seem to get the computer to stop.  Every time I call to see if there is progress (six times) I get a different person who tells me the computer unnominated me but everyone there now knows my name.

I have become famous and I haven't even walked into a classroom...and I may never even yet.  Thank God I am not in this for the money!

[ChrissyRyan]

There are other positions too you might be interested in.

Teacher's aid

I THINK is one that differs from substitute teacher.  But that may tie you down, as many subs can work just a few day a term, if that is what they want, or they can work everyday.  Even everyday in the same building.  Or everyday until a teacher gets back from surgery, etc.
I know a lady who does substitute teaching, she said there is a lot of work available.  She used to be a full time schoolteacher. 

Good luck on finalizing your job.

Chrissy

[Lori Dee]

I have become famous and I haven't even walked into a classroom...and I may never even yet.  Thank God I am not in this for the money!

Now watch as the computer screws up again and sends you a letter congratulating you on your new position as Head of the Department of Education!

[ChrissyRyan]

Chrissy  "Awww shucks!"....I love it!


It should come as no surprise to anyone who has come into contact with any bureaucracy that my application to be a substitute teacher for the New York City Department of Education has gotten screwed up.  I started the process on August 21 and their computers screwed it up three times.  They can't seem to get the computer to stop.  Every time I call to see if there is progress (six times) I get a different person who tells me the computer unnominated me but everyone there now knows my name.

I have become famous and I haven't even walked into a classroom...and I may never even yet.  Thank God I am not in this for the money!

I know you are kidding about the money.  Computers can have crazy results if not programmed right.  They just do what their programs tell them to do.

My friend said there is not that much money with substitute teaching but with a regular license you can sub and get paid maybe as high as twice as much as you would with a substitute teaching credential.  But money is not everything.

You can do well money wise with private tutoring. Ya gotta know your stuff though and be patient with the learners. 

[Emma1017]

I finally got accepted by the first DOE computer.  I think there are three more steps and finger-printing to do but it looks like I got the job!  Yay!

Chrissy I get to keep my regular job with its great transgender health benefits, so money is not an issue.  My compliance department there cleared me. So now it is a matter of time.

Lori the way thing are going with NYC government, I could be mayor....

[Lori Dee]

Lori the way thing are going with NYC government, I could be mayor....

I'd vote for ya! Send me an Absentee Ballot. 

[ChrissyRyan]

I finally got accepted by the first DOE computer.  I think there are three more steps and finger-printing to do but it looks like I got the job!  Yay!

Chrissy I get to keep my regular job with its great transgender health benefits, so money is not an issue.  My compliance department there cleared me. So now it is a matter of time.

Lori the way thing are going with NYC government, I could be mayor....

Oh for some reason I thought you ran your own company but was going to pass it on to your son, so I thought you did and this sub job was something to do just for fun after retirement.

Got that wrong.

Chrissy