I'm not sure where this is coming from. Maybe it is an accumulation of things and my reaction to them. One thing we never know is how someone else is feeling.
Throughout human evolution wearing of masks has been important. Shamans wear masks to perform magic and to call on spirits, politicians wear masks to hide lies and to persuade people, medics wear masks to protect themselves when telling us bad news, clowns wear masks to hide their tears while they make us laugh. Many of us wear masks to hide pain; both emotional and physical.
My mask and my armour are strong and well tested.
It was 17 years ago that my wife had a head injury and our lives changed. Intensive care, prayers to phantom gods and clinging to the faint flickering of eyelids as signs of recovery. Rehab, good days, bad days and inevitably a nursing home.
My mask barely slipped, my armour strengthened and I held her to me.
Cancer. I tried to protect her from my suffering. My resolve and my armour and my mask were invincible.
Today it all crumbled into a mass of tears.
After 9 years in a nursing home, my wife, on her own instigation; organised an access cab, told her carers what to do, drove her electric chair to the cab, instructed the driver and came home for the day - all by herself - and we spent the day together.
Sometimes we forget what we can do. Sometimes in our fight we forget the fight that others have. Sometimes we forget the achievements of others and forget to praise them.
Sometimes we forget to weep as we hide behind our masks.
Today my mask cracked and my tears of joy and pride leaked through.
I was promptly told to pay the cab, stop bawling, buck my ideas up and make lunch.
