1st. of all
Hey All! my 1st post.
I'm currently technically married but we have been separated for 2 years now. We live together but she is away 6 days out of the week with her new boyfriend. We still love each other and are like best friends but not in love with each other. We married quickly and for the wrong reasons, which is an entire different topic. We both have like no friends which has forced us to become best friends. She comes to me like a girl would to her best friend for a shoulder to cry on or to chat about drama. Which is another reason why I'm here, to make new friends who understand.
Anyways. I was on the computer one day doing research about transitioning and watching other peoples mtf transition videos on you tube. She walked in and asked what I was doing. I just in that moment finally decided to tell her after months of research. I kinda was forced to tell her because after marring I stopped lying. She is a kind person and it hurts more to lie to her so I quickly told her exactly what I was watching and why. I explained to her things I never told anyone even after 6+ years of marriage. How I used to sneak into my uncles girlfriends closets and try on stuff when I was alone in the house as a kid/teen. Oh and don't get me started about my uncle. How when I watch movies and tv shows I relate to the situations from the girls perspective. She already knew I liked chick flicks and witnessed me cry in a lot of movies. Reminded her of those few good ol times when we had sex and I wore one of her body stockings during and I played it of as just a way to mix up the routine. Explained how I get a lot of gay men come up to talk to me and try to figure me out if I was gay. I have no interest in gay men but I guess I do thing I do no realize I'm doing to make them think I am. She replied, "I have had some co-works come up to me and ask me if you were gay." I came back with. I do already have kind of a feminine body and I am a sensitive guy. I've been thinking about this for years now but since I'm 37 now I've been using that as an excuse that I'm too old for a transition. Almost all the ftm youtubers are young when they started. Makes me feel like I won't transform into a passable woman. She said, "You are a handsome guy which should help." And that is exactly what I want. Not to be "Handsome" but to be "Pretty". A year ago she caught me watching a Twitch streamer putting on makeup. I played it off as "oh she is just really cute" when really I was just trying to live through the streamers life and trying to learn how to put on makeup. We then started to have me try on all her dresses and we found a few I looked good in. One especially she said I was glowing, super happy when I had it on.(Oh great this part is making me cry)
A Month after coming out to her and since I already did my research and had her read it too, I went to a doctor to discuss a transition. Few weeks later(08-24-18) I started Estradiol. In a few weeks I'll go up a bit and might also start my blockers.
I work at a hardware store, which is going to be a while till I come out to the rest of the world. I'll probably get a lot of hate from all the manly contractors. I'm already having my muscles feel sore after lifting even half of what I used to lift with no sweat. This transition will be interesting.
Anyways 1st person(best friend) is out of the way. Though she has already told her new boyfriend and her only girlfriend. Her girlfriend said, "I always thought he had something dark hanging over him" and she has a sister that thought about transitioning ftm but got talked out of it by the family. So she kinda understood. Her telling those 2 people kinda pissed me off but I know them enough to believe in that they will not spill my secret.
*No Dosages Please*
