In my experience, I was more meh about my gender at first, not only before transitioning but before knowing what transgender meant (or existed really). I was deemed a "tom boy" ever since I was like 6, I wore a dress twice in my life, once for a wedding, and the second was 5th grade prom where I iterally cried for half an hour outside the entrace because of it. When I came out at 13 as a lesbian, I dressed and acted more openly like a guy. It was more freeing and felt right but for 6 years I thought every butchy lesbian felt that way. I never knew what the T in LGBT acronym meant back then, and I felt dysphoria but blew it off as some weird feeling mix of depression and anxiety (im not intune with my emotions and wasnt self aware AT ALL) I felt different but couldnt place it. I remember when we used to walk in lines of two, boys and girls holding hands, I used to stand in the middle because I felt I fit in between since i couldnt be a boy and didn't feel like a girl (until the teachers would send me to the back of the line alone). When I ran into (and accidentally misgendered) a transman at a Green Day concert, I felt awful, and started doing my research. Then it clicked. I wondered at first if it was a sexuality thing too. Then I realized gender and sexual orientation or attraction are different things. Plus, when I came out as a transgender man at 19, the girl I was dating would comment on how feminine I was for a guy (I transitioned in the middle of our relationship). I do act very feminine and think "like a girl" at times, even on testosterone. I felt more dysphoric when I brought all this out and felt the need to pass more, I never really felt like changing between though. There was a person I met who told me they (born female) felt like a man, but also felt like a woman. To the point that they wanted to get implants since they were an A cup, but bind when they felt their masculinity more prominent. I dont know what that means, and I explained the problems of binding in the first place, let alone putting yourself in a position where you'd increase your top size and have trouble when you did bind, but they said they were in their 40s, and wanted to live the last of their life (they had HIV which was now AIDS and they were getting more sick) feeling like themself.
Welllll thats just my two cents. I'd say see a therapist, preferably a gender specialized one, talk about it, and live as your more preferred gender as closely as possible to see how you feel at the end of it. Then you can go from there. Agreeing with the person above me, "walking like a girl or boy" doesn't indicate anything, sexuality is different from gender, so dont think about what arouses you when thinking about all this, and go at your own pace.
Best of luck!
Adam
