Telling someone for the first time

[ShannonH]

So this Thursday I plan to tell my therapist everything.

I have checked with the clinic if they specialise in transgender areas and I am excited that they do offer this help.
My only worry is not knowing what to say, I am worried all the words won't come out properly and there is so much to say in a one hour session.

Anyone have any advice? This is the first time I will tell someone and I have a big feeling I will just start balling my eyes out when I get there.

Thank you,
Shannon

[Danielle Kristina]

Hi Shannon,

During my first session my therapist led the discussion.  She asked me questions like how often I dressed, how many times I purged, etc.  I just answered them honestly.  Some of these I had a hard time answering without turning my head away from her as it was difficult to admit these things to another person.  However, gender therapists have heard it all before and that is important to remember.  Therapy is worth it.  Just be honest and open.  I suspect you won't have to worry about directing the session as your therapist will likely do that.  I know it's scary.  I know that fear well.  But it'll be ok and you will likely be surprised at how comfortable talking to your therapist will become.  I wish you all the best!!!


Danielle

[Sephirah]

Write it down, sweetie. Take some time before you get there to think about what you want to say, and then put it down on paper. Or on a screen and print it out.

I remember what that feeling was like. The first time I came out to someone I basically just blurted out a load of gibberish (or that's how it felt to me). It was a spur of the moment thing and I had literally no time to prepare. If you do, my suggestion to you would be to think about what you want to say and write down how you want to say it. You may not need it, and you may be asked things that can break up what you want to say. Into more manageable chunks. But it doesn't hurt to get your thoughts and feelings down somewhere, just in case.

*big hugs*

[Jessica]

Hi Shannon 🙋‍♀️ When I first talked to a therapist about my feelings, I was told to just be yourself and don't worry about judgements.  So I went in nonplussed and owned my feelings.  It worked for me.  Of course I still had questions, which my therapist helped me come to resolution.
A therapist is not going to tell you how you feel, that will be up to you to relay. 
So be as honest as you can, and frank if your brave. 
Tears may be likely, it was for me.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[MikeP]

Hi Shannon, great to hear you are going to see and share with someone in person.  I put it off for so long and the day I apoched my GP and said I am having some gender issues and wanted to talk with someone I felt a big load had been lifted. He referred me to someone that day and a week later I was seeing a  therapist.

I totally agree with Danielle and be as honest as you can without embarrassment.  It took me a couple therapist before I found my current one I connected with.  Keep us posted and PM if needed. 

[ShannonH]

Write it down, sweetie. Take some time before you get there to think about what you want to say, and then put it down on paper. Or on a screen and print it out.

I remember what that feeling was like. The first time I came out to someone I basically just blurted out a load of gibberish (or that's how it felt to me).

Thank you! yes this bit above is what I am usually like. I seem to throw everything out there and it sounds like silly talk lol

As I only just recently decided I am going to face this and talk to someone about it, its all I can think about this whole week. The main worry I have is the decision to do anything about it will be mine alone to make, and I am scared to make that decision.

I am 26, have two kids and a partner I just wish it was easier but I cant hide anymore.

Thank you for your kind words.

[ShannonH]

Thank you all for your advice, I am just worried but I am going to try my best and hopefully wont end to messy.

I really needed this support.

[Alice V]

When I first time tell someone about my wish to be a girl it was just "hey, I think, I should've born a girl" But you gonna to therapist, it'll help if you'll keep in mind short story of your life and understanding why you think you're trans. I mean, they can ask about dressing, fem and masc traits etc. For effective dialog just keep it in mind. And yeah, write or type it somewherre helps too. You even can undestand something you didn't noticed before

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Shannon.

My opening line was, "I am pretty sure I am transgender."  If that fits for you, feel free to use it!    That will tell your therapist what questions to ask, and they will guide the conversation from there.  The first question will be "Why do you think that?", so it will be helpful if you have a good idea what some of the answer is.

The therapist will ask about cross-dressing, about daydreams, about times you wished you were a girl.  Don't be embarrassed: just tell the truth.  They have heard it all before.

I was so convinced that I was some kind of weirdo freak.  Turns out I was pretty middle-of-the-road trans.  My story was just like dozens that she had heard before.  I had nothing to be embarrassed about.

Good luck!  You will be fine.

[Katy]

I could be wrong, I often am, but I think the opportunity to talk openly with a professional counselor who knows how to put clients at ease will make it easy for you to unburden yourself.  Plan on being surprised by your openness.  You have carried this bag of boulders on your own far too long.  Ease the load by sharing it with someone who understands.

All the best,

Katy

[pamelatransuk]

Hello Shannon

The only advice I can add to that already provided is try not to worry about your embarrassment or the therapist's reaction; they have heard so many similar stories before.

I was nervous for days before my first visit but managed to conquer my nerves on the day and I know you will too.

I wish you every success on your journey as a whole.

Hugs

Pamela