Not Long Now
It is now only 12 days to go, I was trying to think of it in hours and minutes but I can't wrap my brain around that. Days seem more relatable to me but as the time winds down I will no doubt change to an hour-based clocks and bearing in mind please...that I am the "clock" LOL
Okay, Okay... I am too old to be excited... Aren't I?... Well...Maybe not. If you asked me to answer that question a week ago I probably would have said...."Don't be silly of course not."... To be serious though, I think I am experiencing excitement and the reason I say that is simply because I last described myself as being calm...Unnaturally calm. This is different, this is excitement that I've never known, so it's a bit hard to recognise it when it comes along... It's like a mantra slowly building in tempo and volume... This mantra is saying "it's going to happen, it's going to happen, is going to happen..." I guess there is no other word for it... Excitement. I think at the age of 55 being excited is a thing that happened so rarely now that it becomes difficult to recognise the emotions when they occur. Since I was about 12 or 13 excitement has been restricted to 3 or four times throughout my life, one being the day I got married, two and three being the births of my two daughters. Maybe this is the fourth time...
I had the last of my doctor's appointments on Monday, getting the all clear health wise to proceed with my surgery (not that it mattered to get the clearance from that Dr anyway). I also completed the last of my purchases required postop. The last couple of things I have to do is fill the script for the antibiotics and the bowel preparation which I will do on the weekend before I go.
Just when I thought all the worms had been securely squared away in their cans and there was really nothing of any great consequence that needed doing before surgery. However there was one thing left toi do and that was to have "The Talk" with her
"The talk" centred on the worst case scenario(during surgery) and what would happen. It is not a conversation either of us wanted to have but one that was necessary and the reason I bring it up is simply because out of it came a small complication for me... Meryl asked me if I had told anyone from my family and of course I haven't told anyone from my family about surgery in December. Meryl asked that I pick one of my brothers and in the very least give them the "heads up" about my surgery. She understands how difficult this is for but it was important to her and I agreed.
The last couple of days I have been a little preoccupied thinking about how to approach the subject, which brother to speak to and when to do it. Some of the things I have decided, I will speak to my immediate older brother and let him know that I am having surgery, the risks associated and those specific to me. I will have to explain to him what surgery, but more importantly I want him to understand that should anything happen to me there is to be no, repeat no, interference in Meryl's wishes in the event of complications. Meryl is fully versed on exactly what I want to happen.
All this sounds so simple and I wish it was. I will have to see but I have my suspicions that he is gonna want to talk to my parents about this which is why the timing of my talk with him is important. I may in fact wait until the night before I leave before speaking to him or even maybe the day I arrive in Melbourne.... I am unsure at this stage.
My hip is not happy, I took Monday off walking and walked Tuesday and today restricting myself to 5 km each day. I will have a rest day tomorrow and then walk Friday and Saturday morning having a rest day Sunday. I'm going to try, walk two days, rest one day although I suspect it may end up walk one rest one. I am not sure but I think the last few months have really placed a lot of strain on the joint. I know they encourage me to exercise on it but I can't imagine they wanted me to be walking 7 km every day at an increased pace. I think I am really fit at the moment and my resting pulse/BP are indicators of just how fit I am. When I come back from Melbourne I will need to try and maintain my weight not only because I am having surgery but it is also much better for HbA1c results.
I expect to be around here the next week or two up until my surgery. After surgery I will let a couple of people know once I am out of ICU and any possible danger. I'm hoping this will be in the first 24 to 36 hours but don't be surprised that it's three days. If it is going to be this long I will get Meryl to get in touch.
Looking forward to catching up with Cindy and Nicole tomorrow for a coffee...always a good laugh.
Take care
Liz
