Hi, I was lurking on this site for several months before I actually registered as a user. I forget my reason but I think it was to ask my own questions and get supportive answers. Since I've joined, I've found more support here than I ever could have imagined.
My name? Well that's an interesting concept... you could call me by what the legal system has me as, Brian. You could see me as I see myself, Brianna. You could see me as my closest friends call me Bri (pls don't use this one). Or you could read my self nickname in my username, BriBri (use this one instead).
I had my first identity crisis related to gender about 6 months ago, and brushed it off. Then about 4 months ago, a week before finals, I had three identity crises, one of which was gender again. I addressed all of them, but pushed the gender one off until after finals. After heavier searching, finding evidence of dysphoria riddling my childhood and adolescence, I realised that I am transgender, specifically transfemale (MtF). Tested it with a one weekend RLT with close friends on a campout, then came out to all of my current (in touch) friends about 3 months ago. [I think the dysphoria was partially hidden by my ADHD&Aspergers problems when I was younger. Over that now so, bloop]
Since then, I've gotten past questioning with pretty much myself, 2 friends, and one semi-closeted contact that I met through a mutual friend. And although they won't see it I apologise to how much I've put those friends through... that was intense. Sorry!!!
I also built up the courage to come out to my parents, was involuntarily admitted to hospital under 5150, and after 3-4 hours came out with a diagnosis of gender dysphoria and adjustment reaction.
I like to think my situation is unique. At the current time I'm 20 going on 21... I'm transferring from a community college to a four year university in an engineering major... And I'm not allowed to transition AT ALL while in college if I wish to keep my parents funding college. I'm not allowed to self vocal train, grow hair beyond male norm, go by anything other than my legal birth name, start hormones, nothing. IT SUCKS. BUT they're paying for everything so the least I can do is fight through everything and get a degree first. I am allowed to get therapy (but I'm paying for it so that theres no control issues possible). My parents are traditional, so not as bad as orthodox religious, I still havent gotten kicked out. But still not as accepting and encouraging as some Youtube responses I've seen. They support me their child, but don't support transitioning. Which I guess is okay? Not optimal but okay.
I move out there next week (apartments through student housing), and I already have an appointment with the counselor from the LGBTQIA+ center to find therapists and am already in touch with the private support group's facilitator.
This is my first quarter ever, Im used to a semester system, and I aim to not only kill myself attending therapy and the support group, and taking a ton on units (16 units to be precise, engineering schedules and intensity SUCK) but to also work remotely part time (love my boss, she's amazing and accepting and caring and yay) so that I can build up funds and move out immediately after I graduate so that I can start hormones. I'm planning out my transition, as it helps ease dysphoria, and pretty much research everything through Here, ->-bleeped-<-, and making Google my slave.
Now you know a little bit about me? Idk
Thanks for reading!
