Name change fears and questions

[Brandon]

As you all know I'm 21 now and I finally wanna start my name change process since I've been on Testosterone for about 10 months now, my family and I plan on taking a trip next year to the Bahamas and my mom is worried that when I get a passport about how long it will take and how to go about that. Now as I've stated we aren't going until March 2019 and I have no idea when she wants to get our passports, I would like to go ahead and get my name change out of the way because 1 it will cost more if I tried to wait with the whole background check thing and 2 I don't have as many documents that need changed, just my drivers license, social security, bank card and a couple other things basically before I seriously start getting down to buisness as an adult. I wanted to hear from other people about how they go about that. Not only that but she brought up the point of if I were to get stopped by the police, which I fear because now adays they can throw you in jail for anything. I abide the laws and follow rules but sometimes it's not enough which is why I have held off for so long but I feel like not updating my information will also cause issues down the line.

[Ryuichi13]

Well, since I'm not sure what US state you live in, I'm not sure of their procedures.  Your best bet would be to go to your state's website and look up what's needed.  If you live in one state, but were born in another, you'll need a birth certificate.  Either way, you'll need a birth certificate, tbh. 

Getting a passport really isn't as difficult as you'd think once you legally change your name.  Go to the nearest Post office that does passports, and make sure you get TWO forms, in case you mess up on one, and just follow the instructions.  I think the price is now $135, but I could be wrong.  And yes, you'll have to send in your original papers, but don't worry, they mail them back. 

It took my passport around 3-4 weeks to come back to me, and my papers a few days after that.

One thing that you and your Mom might consider is that yes, should you get stopped by the cops, until you have your new driver's license, you might want to carry one of the court papers showing your name change.  I just folded one up and stuck it in my wallet, so when I was involved in a hit-and-run and needed to show it and my license to the cop, I simply explained that "I'm transgender and was in the process of changing my IDs over."  He was very nice, but did tell me that I needed to get my new license ASAP, since its illegal in my current state to drive without a valid license.

Ryuichi

[Devlyn]

Hey, Brandon, good to see you moving forward. 

You can see your state's requirements for the changes here.

https://www.susans.org/wiki/Category:Documentation_changes

Good luck!

Hugs, Devlyn

[TonyaW]

There's a good passport thread here on Susan's.   I use Tapatalk on my phone so when I tried to link to it doesn't work right.

Get the name change first if you can or you're going to pay twice for your passport.


6 months should be enough time but you'll want to do both name change and passport as soon as possible though.  From the way I read your post, I'm getting that you do not already have a passport and were born in the US.



You will need birth certificate for passport.  If your state lets you change that with your name then you shouldn't need the court order for name change also.  If you're in one of the lucky states that let's you change your gender on the birth certificate without surgery you will be all set.  If not and you want the gender on passport to be different than the birth certificate,  you will need your doctors letter in the exact format that someone (Jill?) posted in a  recent thread.  The letter not being exactly the way they want seems to be what has caused delays for some.  It needs to be an original and not a copy and you wont get it back so you might want to get two originals from your doctor.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[Kylo]

I would make a list of all the things that need changing, and do them in some sort of logical order. Because - depending on where you live - some are easier to change than others and some once changed, immediately require the changing of other things.

For example, I changed my NHS details first, and those on my prescriptions, and those at my university because they didn't need verification with a passport which I didn't have ready at the time. But to change bank and Paypal details requires an updated passport, and getting that takes the longest. Once you start updating your bank, Paypal will no longer work etc. unless you get on the case for that rapidly, too.

In my case the gender change on a passport requires a whole bunch of proofs all presented at once, so I had to get new photos, proof of name change (deed poll), proof I'm even using that name officially (had to order a council tax letter), proof of transition (doctor's letter) etc. all to be given over at the same time to the clerk for processing. If you're in the USA I'm sure the system is slightly different but you get my point, change the easiest non-committal stuff first, but once you change the passport you're going to have to immediately change your bank and tax details to avoid a headache.   

[Brandon]

I live in Michigan. I know how to go about changing my name already and where to go. The passport thing I now have figured out but I still fear changing my name because of the police and such.

[Ryuichi13]

I live in Michigan. I know how to go about changing my name already and where to go. The passport thing I now have figured out but I still fear changing my name because of the police and such.

Okay, maybe I'm missing something, but what exactly are you afraid of the police for?  Is it the fear of being pulled over and arrested?  If you haven't done anything to get arrested for, there's no reason to fear.  Same for doing jail/prison time.  Unless you've done something illegal, there's no reason to fear the cops.

Chances are, if you have done something worth getting arrested and imprisoned for, even being transgender will mean you're put in a prison for your assigned gender.  That is, unless you're in Connecticut like I am, where you would go to the prison of your identified gender.  From what I understand, you would be housed in a separate section, but I'm not 100% sure of that, since I don't know anyone that's gone to prison.

https://www.newsweek.com/connecticut-transgender-prisoners-first-us-win-right-be-housed-according-947312

I don't know what other fears you have for changing your name, but the choice to do so, or to not do so is all yours. 

Good luck.

Ryuichi

[blackcat]

In my state (PA), even if you have committed a felony, you simply have to wait two years before you can file for a name change. A criminal record won't prevent you from changing your name, but the filing process might use a different form.

The background check is run primarily to make sure you don't have any outstanding debts, or are attempting to commit some kind of fraud. It's mostly about the $$$.

I just filed for my name change. It was one long day in the courthouse, running from office to office, to get documents, get documents stamped, deliver stamped documents to someone else to get another stamp. Like. Super boring.

I didn't need a lawyer to waive the publication requirements.

It sounded so intimidating when I first read the process, and it ended up being another dull day of errands.

[Ryuichi13]

*snip*

Like. Super boring.

*snip*

It sounded so intimidating when I first read the process, and it ended up being another dull day of errands.

Mine was similar, but because I live in a different state than my birth state, it took a few extra weeks.  Getting my birth certificate, letters from my doctor and endo, showing that I had no malicious intent when I changed my name, changing my gender on my license, blah blah blah. 

Legal stuff is dull and time-consuming, but for me, well worth it to see the "M" on my IDs, especially my passport.   

I figure that "if the Federal Government recognizes me as male, my family members will eventually all have to see me as such."

Ryuichi

[blackcat]

I figure that "if the Federal Government recognizes me as male, my family members will eventually all have to see me as such."

I'm stealing this from you. I'm going to slam my ID down on the table if anyone gives me a hard time and say, "If the feds can do it, you can do it!" 

[Ryuichi13]

I'm stealing this from you. I'm going to slam my ID down on the table if anyone gives me a hard time and say, "If the feds can do it, you can do it!" 

TBH, when I last went home, I took my passport with me specifically for that reason!

Ryuichi

[Brandon]

Okay, maybe I'm missing something, but what exactly are you afraid of the police for?  Is it the fear of being pulled over and arrested?  If you haven't done anything to get arrested for, there's no reason to fear.  Same for doing jail/prison time.  Unless you've done something illegal, there's no reason to fear the cops.

Chances are, if you have done something worth getting arrested and imprisoned for, even being transgender will mean you're put in a prison for your assigned gender.  That is, unless you're in Connecticut like I am, where you would go to the prison of your identified gender.  From what I understand, you would be housed in a separate section, but I'm not 100% sure of that, since I don't know anyone that's gone to prison.

https://www.newsweek.com/connecticut-transgender-prisoners-first-us-win-right-be-housed-according-947312

I don't know what other fears you have for changing your name, but the choice to do so, or to not do so is all yours. 

Good luck.

Ryuichi

Well I mean I'm a black guy and because off all the police brutality that's been going on I get alittle fearful. Police officers can harass you for no reason at all simply because of the color of your skin so yes, that's my fears. My mom has been warning me about that for a while. How I'm now seen as a black man and police aren't to favorable of us. Now I abide the laws but plenty of people have in the past and that landed them with bullets in the back.

[Brandon]

In my state (PA), even if you have committed a felony, you simply have to wait two years before you can file for a name change. A criminal record won't prevent you from changing your name, but the filing process might use a different form.

The background check is run primarily to make sure you don't have any outstanding debts, or are attempting to commit some kind of fraud. It's mostly about the $$$.

I just filed for my name change. It was one long day in the courthouse, running from office to office, to get documents, get documents stamped, deliver stamped documents to someone else to get another stamp. Like. Super boring.

I didn't need a lawyer to waive the publication requirements.

It sounded so intimidating when I first read the process, and it ended up being another dull day of errands.

Here in Michigan you only do background checks if you're 22.

[Ryuichi13]

Well I mean I'm a black guy and because off all the police brutality that's been going on I get alittle fearful. Police officers can harass you for no reason at all simply because of the color of your skin so yes, that's my fears. My mom has been warning me about that for a while. How I'm now seen as a black man and police aren't to favorable of us. Now I abide the laws but plenty of people have in the past and that landed them with bullets in the back.

As you can tell from my pic, I too am a black man.  (The pic is a cosplay from before I started transitioning), so I understand your fears. 

But if I let fear run my life, I'd still be a miserable AFAB, pretending to be female, pretending to enjoy being with my exes, pretending...pretending...pretending.

I did that for 54 years and through two failed marriages.  Pretended.

Instead, I simply don't do things that will get me noticed by the cops.  And the few times I have been pulled over, I was polite and treated them like the human beings they are.  I didn't get "in their face," I didn't protest, I simply handed them my drivers license and registration and let them do their job.  I didn't get tickets or anything, (yay!) but people tend to forget that cops are simply people doing a job.

Instead of living your life for the fear of "one day getting pulled over by the cops," why not try to live your life in a way that will make you happy? 

Ryuichi

[Brandon]

As you can tell from my pic, I too am a black man.  (The pic is a cosplay from before I started transitioning), so I understand your fears. 

But if I let fear run my life, I'd still be a miserable AFAB, pretending to be female, pretending to enjoy being with my exes, pretending...pretending...pretending.

I did that for 54 years and through two failed marriages.  Pretended.

Instead, I simply don't do things that will get me noticed by the cops.  And the few times I have been pulled over, I was polite and treated them like the human beings they are.  I didn't get "in their face," I didn't protest, I simply handed them my drivers license and registration and let them do their job.  I didn't get tickets or anything, (yay!) but people tend to forget that cops are simply people doing a job.

Instead of living your life for the fear of "one day getting pulled over by the cops," why not try to live your life in a way that will make you happy? 

Ryuichi

I'm not gonna live my life in fear. You also have to realize that yes cops are people but some of them abuse their power.

[Ryuichi13]

If I worried about every cop that abused their power, I'd never leave the house.

Instead, I live my life as if I'm not doing anything wrong, even when I go out to protest for Trans rights.

Ryuichi

[superkam41]

As a young black man in America it's best to have all of your documents reflect who you are. Definitely start the process asap. Plus life is just better/easier after the legal name and gender marker change.

Sidenote: I've been off this forum for a few years, glad to hear you got to start T bro

[Ryuichi13]

As a young black man in America it's best to have all of your documents reflect who you are. Definitely start the process asap. Plus life is just better/easier after the legal name and gender marker change.

Sidenote: I've been off this forum for a few years, glad to hear you got to start T bro

My thoughts exactly! 

I might have said this in this thread before but the one time I got in a hit and run, I had to show the cop both my driver's license and one of the copies I carried around in my wallet of my name change document.  the cop was pretty cool, but also warned me that "you need to have your license match your legal name."  He said "it could cause you trouble if you don't."  I got the impression he was trying to prevent me from having any legal troubles should something bad happen.  Plus, its just plain easy and common sense.

Looking male and having male pronouns yet having a credit/debit card with your female name on it can also out you as trans, especially if you have facial hair.

Ryuichi