Name and gender change prior to SRS

[KarenLyn]

That sux that you have to go to court in the States and actually put your name change in the local paper.

...

--natalie

I did mine in Washington state and I didn't have to put anything in the paper. Court was not a big deal. The judge was sweet and signed off with no problems. I had the gender marker changed a week later.

Karen Lyn

[Keira]

Yeah, Assalian is of another generation and needs to retire.
The other GID clinic I went too in 1990 (I think its Notre Dame)
was even worse, the head guy said he was forced to call gays not
sick but they were!! I didn't go into that program for a reason...

But, the younger therapist in the Montral General program are OK;
The program is also associated to Mcgill now (not sure if it was before).
I went DIY myself and they didn't kick me out (I was already in).
Been in and out of this thing since 1992 so I've been around awhile.
If they jerk me around too much I'd go to Thailand anyway,
so its mainly because I need a therapist (I'm pretty messed up)
and they're good and know me well that I stay with the program.

When did you go to the Montreal General Hospital.

[Schala]

Yeah, Assalian is of another generation and needs to retire.
The other GID clinic I went too in 1990 (I think its Notre Dame)
was even worse, the head guy said he was forced to call gays not
sick but they were!! I didn't go into that program for a reason...

But, the younger therapist in the Montral General program are OK;
The program is also associated to Mcgill now (not sure if it was before).
I went DIY myself and they didn't kick me out (I was already in).
Been in and out of this thing since 1992 so I've been around awhile.
If they jerk me around too much I'd go to Thailand anyway,
so its mainly because I need a therapist (I'm pretty messed up)
and they're good and know me well that I stay with the program.

When did you go to the Montreal General Hospital.

I went in November 2006. I had a friend (street worker, accompanying me) with me, she was allowed to hear Assalian's 'verdict'.

In 1990 I was a bit too young, but it's when I started asking serious questions to myself (I was 8 ).

[Hypatia]

$34 was the total?  With court costs?  With legal notice insertion?

Yes... that's all it took. I didn't have to appear in court, didn't have to do anything but fill out the petition, pay the money, and provide a self-addressed stamped envelope.

[Schala]

get affadavits from friends, employers, teachers, neighbors, etc that they all know you by that name for the last 2 years.  judges like it when you lay things out for them and make their jobs easier.



ashley

The thing is, it's not a judge, it doesn't go to court (unless you contest a decision). Micheline Montreuil went to court, as a lawyer herself, to contest decisions.

[Keira]

If your not with a therapist, it will be painfully long unless you've change so much
that even them, have to admit keeping the old name is ridiculous (so DIY is a
must in your case!). Even then, I suspect it will be long unless you do something
drastic like FFS. Surgery seems to make them go faster!

[Schala]

If your not with a therapist, it will be painfully long unless you've change so much
that even them, have to admit keeping the old name is ridiculous (so DIY is a
must in your case!). Even then, I suspect it will be long unless you do something
drastic like FFS. Surgery seems to make them go faster!

How do they measure 'change'?

I'm with a psychiatrist, and an endo (well soon, for the endo). I'm not DIY really, I went to a generalist who prescribed them, and then to my family doctor. I never ordered from overseas (although I've been tempted), mainly due to not having a credit card (bankrupcy...).

[Keira]

OK, well then its not too bad.
If you've got a therapist or endo
you may get it just as fast as I did (or slightly slower).

[cindybc]

Hi Schala

I don't know how the Quebec government handles TS business but I will say by what I have read here it appears to suck big time.
Of one thing I am certain about with a word of encouragement and that is you are a very attractive kid and you will pass quite fine I bet after a few months on Estrogen. Stick close to Keira

Cindy

[Schala]

Hi Schala

I don't know how the Quebec government handles TS business but I will say by what I have read here it appears to suck big time.
Of one thing I am certain about with a word of encouragement and that is you are a very attractive kid and you will pass quite fine I bet after a few months on Estrogen. Stick close to Keira

Cindy

Thank you Cindy.

Well, it's been my estimation (which is indeed, not perfect) that I passed perfectly by November 2006, after 6 months of estrogen. It has been 20 months now. How I deduced it is no one paid undue attention to me, whispered, stared or other rude behaviors I was subjected to in my androgynous state pre-transition and after, when just beginning HRT, bra-less (and breast-less).

It was both funny and sad to cause confusion in people pre-transition, or to gauge their reaction. Funny because I basically was able to 'pass without even trying' (that is, in men's clothes, no makeup) some of the time, sad because I couldn't tolerate this in-between state much longer (I've been physically androgynous most my life).

I'm not sure I've met Keira in person before, or I might have but we didn't have a chance to speak. I was at a trans pride event in April 2007 at an university in downtown Montreal (UQAM was it?), but I rarely go out (due to financial reasons mainly).

Sara

[cindybc]

Hi Schala, "Wow!" I knew you were on hormones but didn't know how long. Believe me you are pretty and I do believe you will pass as a girl when you start dressing like one. I am only suggesting that you keep in touch with Keira, is because I have been reading Keira, posts ever since I got here back in August and she impresses me as someone who knows her stuff and she's available right here on this board. I trust her to know what she speaks about and she lives in the same province.

Cindy   

[Schala]

Hi Schala, "Wow!" I knew you were on hormones but didn't know how long. Believe me you are pretty and I do believe you will pass as a girl when you start dressing like one. I am only suggesting that you keep in touch with Keira, is because I have been reading Keira, posts ever since I got here back in August and she impresses me as someone who knows her stuff and she's available right here on this board. I trust her to know what she speaks about and she lives in the same province.

Cindy   

Well, I do dress like one I have since 1 month pre-HRT: April 2006, when I got my first set of ear piercings (I have two now)...and that's how I remember the date.

and reading Keira's post, suggests she is in Montreal, which is where I lived 17 years of my 25 years. I live just in the suburb north-east of it (maybe 20-30 min in car), in Terrebonne. I've lived here for a bit over two years, it will make three in June. A bit less than a year presenting as male (or androgynous anyway), and nearly two as female. The people I know have been generally supportive when I did transition (and still are), mostly asking questions out of curiosity.

Most people don't make the connection between the 'old' and the 'new' me, or don't remember (or never saw me before). So I don't have issues using women's bathrooms, shopping in girl/women's clothes shops, or anything. I avoid changing rooms.

[Keira]

Its funny, got my ear repierced (since I had it before but it had close up a few year earlier) about 2 month post hormones in septempter 2006. Oh know, the suburbs! Oh the horror! I'm a city gall through and through.

Passed about 95% by 4 months! (nobody can really claim 100% unless we can read minds). Now,
19 months in.

Anyway, good luck Schala with the name change thing.
Montreal's a great place. but, for name changes, the government of quebec SUCKS.

[Purple Pimp]

It was both funny and sad to cause confusion in people pre-transition, or to gauge their reaction. Funny because I basically was able to 'pass without even trying' (that is, in men's clothes, no makeup) some of the time, sad because I couldn't tolerate this in-between state much longer (I've been physically androgynous most my life).

A very interesting point!  If you ever get the chance, read Jamison Green's Becoming a Visible Man (or something like that title).  Though an FTM, most of his experience is universal to transpeople.  He mentioned how there are those of us (like Green), who prior to transition, do not have passing privilege because of our appearance not matching our birth sex, and who then pass after transition; this, of course, is in opposition to those of us who pass as members of our birth sex before transition, but afterwards do not.  Of course, if FFS becomes more affordable in the future, this phenomenon might be lessened, but I think it's ironic that for some particularly androgynous people, transitioning will give them passing privilege, while others lose it forever.  The lucky ones, while becoming themselves, become passing members of society, while others must give this up in order to live as the sex they feel that they are.

[Schala]

Its funny, got my ear repierced (since I had it before but it had close up a few year earlier) about 2 month post hormones in septempter 2006. Oh know, the suburbs! Oh the horror! I'm a city gall through and through.

Passed about 95% by 4 months! (nobody can really claim 100% unless we can read minds). Now,
19 months in.

Anyway, good luck Schala with the name change thing.
Montreal's a great place. but, for name changes, the government of quebec SUCKS.

Like I was told, on my way to my endo this week "The most beautiful women are in Montreal" It made me laugh a bit. Especially that the comment was directed at me... Well I had a winter coat, so all he could see was my 'cute ass', legs and my head.

I know I had my share of stares during April, May, and June...it became much less noticeable in July, next to nothing in August, nothing in September, but I 'declared' it officially by November. It mostly had to do with being flat-chested and my acne I guess (which went away by fall 2006).

I've had acne between 1999 and 2006...although I hardly became masculine. Hard to explain that one.

@genovais: Yes it's an interesting point. Though I suspect a good enough portion of the androgynous ones, especially past puberty, have some intersex condition. I think I read a figure saying 40% of Harry Benjamin's original patients had an IS condition (most probably XXY, statistically anyway).

[cindybc]

Hi, Schala,

That is good.  As I said, I didn't know how long you have been on hormones or how long you have been full time.  I missed a previous couple of posts, I guess. 

It appears you have come out for some time.  Being accepted by folks is a wonderful thing to hear.    I lived in a small town for ten years and for seven years I was out, full-time.  I never had any problems with anyone.  People soon got use to calling me by my right name and proper gender pronouns. Well, maybe I got hit in the head by a horse shoe when I was born. LOL!!  Better than having people throwing over-ripe vegetables at me!!.

I pray that your journey be good and that you be well.

Cindy

[joannatsf]

So, I've been putting off going to Social Security, like, forever!  I've got my court ordered change of name and gender but no surgeon's letter about SRS because I'm non-op, see?  So I go in, take a number and wait to be called.  My name is called and I go to the window and tell the worker I want to change my name and gender on my SSA account.  I show her my court order and my CDL which she looks over and then proceeds to enter the info into the computer.  A moment later 2 documents print out.  One is for me to sign and te other for her.  She takes mine, hands me her letter affirming the changes and that I should receive my new card within 10 days!  A passport and I'm done with all the legal stuff!

[Audrey]

Im lucky cause a friend of mine is a supervisor at the SS office so I shouldn't have to deal with too much akwardness.

Audrey