Greetings and hopefully hello to JungleJulia.
I am grateful for your original post Julia, and all of those who have written in addition to this post.
It has struck a chord with me as well as it may have with others.
To start, I read your post Julia and sympathize with you about your situation back in Sept, hopefully that has past for you now.
We come into this world when as newborn with no idea about our future or our life to be. In our present time in the history of humanity we have made unbelievable gains in technology and science, to be able to change ourselves to become as we feel inside and present to the outside world as we wish. It is astounding what we can do if we want to. It sounds to me by your post you are gorgeous, fully passable and with out a doubt a woman in every sense except for one aspect. To me you are no fake, no less a woman than any other cis female whatsoever.
Some thoughts, is a cis female who has had cancer and can not give birth a fake or any less a female because of her disease?
Is a person any less of person no matter what binary gender they are, a fake or less of a person if they were to have a missing limb or body part?
We all have a reality in which we live, ours as a Transgender persons who may have fully transitioned are a miracle of our generation. At no other time in our history have people been able change or present whatever gender they feel they are. Granted there are limitations to where live, access to the treatments, therapists and all the items we do in order to complete that journey. We are not at a point yet to sign up for transplants to allow ourselves to give birth, it may be down the road or not, depending on societies envolvement. If you think about all those people who have lived before us who did not even have a thought about gender difference outside of their survival needs, the people who who were marched into war never knowing they were transgendered or gay or different because they did not survive. We are now at a point in life where we can know the difference, know what is possible and know what is not. This is our reality in the now.
The reason why this post has struck a cord with me is, to me it is about acceptance, acceptance of our reality, of self, before we can even start this journey, to know we are transgendered, to know that no matter how much work and correction we can do we will never be able to obtain that one item of a cis gendered females ability. It made me realize that I have for so long have not accepted myself as different, only when I have accepted myself have I been more happy and alive. I have now also not given into what other people think of me, I do not need the criticisms for not being enough of any one item as a human being. The fact that I am here now and breath and see all aspects of life is a most wonderful gift, to be able to present as I feel even though I will modify my looks to be more feminine that will be that much more of a gift. The core qualities of living are to love, be loved, to be acknowledged and accepted for who you are as a person. There are many of us who fret about not finding those qualities in self and and or another person who can validate us. It is possible and those who wish will find a person that accepts those qualities we have about ourselves. The biggest one for me and many folks is the "Acceptance" of self and the reality in which each of us live. In the world there are many women of all shapes and sizes and features who are not able have some aspect of the human experience or they may have it all. The point being, the fact we are alive and able experience life for what it offers us is an individual journey and for us and no one else. If we need to mother we can find many kids who do not have a mother or parents which we may be able to adopt. We can love another human being to give that sense of mothering. Given our reality that is presently as much as anyone can do in our community. Your wish to be able work in shops and other lines of work is really a personal choice. We have chosen to deal with ->-bleeped-<- by transitioning, I can only think that is the hardest journey to complete, the fact that we want to do something about it and be successful in doing so is no minor feat. To change a job and do what you wish can only be an individual move, and we have done bigger ones to get ourselves to where you/we are today. This by the way is no point of criticism but merely encouragement to seek what ever your heart desires, and we have the best possible chances of doing in our day in age. Never give up!
And never give up on yourself, you have already done the hardest part of your journey.
End thought, "Our acceptance of ourselves and our reality is directly related to the fulfillment and happiness we will get in our lives", so many people before us have never had the chance or to know or even have a try.
This post has made me realize that I took 55 years to accept my self, another 5 years to start doing something about it and to remind myself that my acceptance will allow me to be who I am without guilt and or shame. No one can take that away from me or any of us.
You have a full life ahead of you as the person you wished to be, you are no fake or less of a person because of what can not do. Think of all the things you can do, many of us are envious of where you are at in your journey, our journeys are different and they belong to us. Be proud of what you have accomplished and show the world you as a beautiful woman as any other female has done before us.
Geez that is a thought hey!
Liina
