Being Socialized Male 101

[Sarah1979]

Hi guys!  I hope you don't mind me being in here, but, at @ryuichi said he wanted a thread similar to ours for you guys.
As I told him, I never made a very good guy, but I'll do my best.  As it will be a work in progress, I don't think I can put it all in one post, I'll just keep posting as I can think of things ok?

#1... This is the first one that came to mind, SPORTS!  If you don't have a sport you like watching, PICK ONE!
Seriously, guys that don't follow sports are WEIRD.  It's not necessarily outing yourself, but its not normal.  If you're in the US, the big one is football, but baseball is also quite popular.  Whatever sport you pick, learn it inside and out.  Players, teams, stats, rules, EVERYTHING in detail. I was fortunate and found at least one sport that I actually liked so I was able to at least fake it.  I know in the rest of the world, it's soccer or rugby.  Learn whatever you pick.

That's all I have at a moment's notice, I'll keep thinking.



Hugs,

Sarah

[Sarah1979]

Hi ladies! So, the other day I was at my support group and one of the ladies there mentioned that because they weren't raised and socialized as a female, they didn't know any of the do's and don'ts of being a girl that all female bodied people are taught from a young age. At this point they all turned to me (the only FTM in the group) and asked me what some of those do's and don'ts are. I got thinking that this was probably a common problem you gals run into, so I thought I'd make a list and post it here.

Disclaimer: These are my own personal experiences and observations and are obviously not going to be universal. A lot of these are things that I'm trying to unlearn myself.

•   The first thing you should know is that girls are taught from a young age to be a little bit fearful. What I mean is that they are raised knowing that being raped, assaulted and/or murdered is a very real possibility. This isn't just being paranoid, statistics show that between ¼ to ½ of all women have been sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime. This means that they behave very differently in certain situations than a man would because they are aware that there is constant threat. This doesn't mean live your life in fear, it just means you need to be aware of your surroundings and avoid certain situations.

o   Don't walk down dark alleys alone at night. In fact, be extremely cautious of going anywhere alone at night. If you have too, be alert, pay attention to your surroundings. Don't be looking at your phone. If you're walking to your car, take your keys out of your purse before you enter the parking lot and walk with them in your hand.

o   Body language is a big factor in keeping you safe. Don't try to make yourself look small, don't hunch your shoulder down and keep your head looking at the ground. Put your shoulders back, your chin up and be looking around. And don't be afraid to glare at anyone you think is suspicious looking. Anyone who is looking to assault someone is looking for a victim: someone who is weak, easy prey and won't fight back. So, if you look like you know what they are up to and will fight back if they try anything, they will most likely leave you alone.

o   If you are at a club, bar or any type of similar setting, never leave your drink unattended. In fact, never let it out of your sight. Putting it down and looking away is exactly how you get roofied. And yes, people try that all the time. Pick it up, and don't put it down until you're done, or if you're sitting at a table, put it directly in your line of sight so you can see if anyone tries anything.

o   And on another note, at such places, always try to go to the restroom in groups of at least two. There's a reason women do this, it's because there is safety in numbers and restrooms at such places are great places to be assaulted. Think about it, you wander away from your group of friends alone, to the back of the club where there are fewer people, to a room with a door that locks. Perfect ambush opportunity.

o   Be cautious of men you don't know approaching you when you are alone. Your car breaking down on the side of the road is always a bad situation to find yourself in. Don't assume that everyone who stops and offers to help is doing so with good intentions.

o   Don't pick up hitchhikers. I feel like that should be self-explanatory.

•   <slut shaming portion removed> Admin

Are you scared yet? You've probably never had to think of any of these things before, but these are things women are always aware of. You don't have to live in fear, but a healthy dose of caution goes a long way to keeping you safe.

And now that I've made you completely paranoid, let's move on to lighter things. Some of these things many of you probably already know, but I'm trying to be thorough.

•   Skirts and dresses. There are few things to know about wearing skirts and dresses.

o   When you sit down wearing a skirt or dress, you never just sit down. This causes the skirt to gather underneath you uncomfortably and causes your skirt to wrinkle. What you do is this: you reach behind you with both hands, palms open flat, and gently pull the loose material of the back of the skirt forward until its resting against the back of your thighs. You do this as you are in the process of sitting down. It should be one fluid motion. Sweep your arms back, palms open, move the material while sitting down, and then bring your hand into your lap.

o   Always keep your knees together when sitting while wearing a skirt or dress. No one wants to see your underwear.

o   When you bend down to pick something up off the floor while wearing a skirt, you never bend over at the waist. You bend down with your knees to pick something up. Again, no one wants to see your underwear.

o   Bonus: how to walk in heels. The trick to walking in heels, is that you are not walking with your entire foot. You are only walking on the ball of your foot, or if you have really high heels, your tippy toes. If you're standing still, you can put your weight on your heel, but when walking only put weight on the balls of your feet. And when walking down stairs, hold onto the hand rail.

•   Women cross their legs when they are sitting down. It is something most of them do unconsciously. They sit down and immediately cross their legs. Either one thigh over the other, or at the ankles.

•   When women stand, they tend to put all their weight on only one leg at a time. If you've notices how most of the time women have their hips canted when they are standing, it is because of this. Put all your weight on one leg and kind of relax the knee of the other leg so it is slightly bent.

•   Women carry things differently than men do. Women's bodies are different than men's bodies, which yes you already knew, but probably not in this way. Men are built to work, so they are stronger in their shoulders and upper bodies, and have a center of mass that is higher up on the body than women. Women are built to carry babies. This means that their center of mass, and the strongest, most balanced part of their body is the hips. So, when women carry things, especially heavy things, they carry them on their hips not their shoulders. For example, when carrying a laundry basket, women will often hold it in one hand and rest the other end against their hip, either in front of them or to the side. Or if they're carrying a bag of something heavy, they carry it in both arms, low in front of their bodies, and rest the weight on their hip bones.

•   When women make eye contact with someone, they smile. Even if you don't know the person, still give at least a small smile. Okay this is kind of a generalization, but it seems to be a thing most women do and what is expected of them.

•   Women listen to every single word that comes out of someone's mouth and always have some kind of reply or comment afterwards. According to my mother, men do this thing where they tune someone out if they don't think they're saying anything important (which I agree with because I do this all the time). But women always listen to everything that someone is saying, no matter what the topic. So, no matter how many times a day your mother has to tell you about the exploits of all the birds at the bird feeder, you have to listen to every word and each time have an appropriately enthusiastic response.

•   Women look someone in the eye or in the face when they are talking. Yes, this is a normal social thing for everyone, but women tend to do it more so than men do. In other words, women are less likely to look away during the conversation than men are. Women also tend to lean forward toward the other person when speaking to or listening to each other.

•    Women compliment each other, a lot. They even do it to women they don't know, but it is especially common among women that they do know. For example, "that's a nice shirt" "I love your hair" "where did you get those shoes."

•   It's a lot more acceptable for a woman to show her emotions than it is for a man.

•   Women carry things in purses, and never in their pockets. Except for maybe Chapstick or their phone.

Wow, that was the longest post I've ever made in my life. I'll probably have more things to add as I think of them. Or if anyone else wants to add feel free.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask, I don't mind talking about it. Just be warned, I'm FTM and I kind of made a lousy girl.

I had an idea, I figured I would use kylen kantari's post in the thread he made for us girls, and try to mirror it point by point.  So, without further ado...

1. Fear.  I understand that there is fear that is taught to women as part of the growing up process, but for men it's basically the opposite... you never show or admit to having fear.  A man would rather be assaulted than show fear. This is not to say that you shouldn't watch your surroundings, but a man would simply be ready to defend himself at any time.

2.  This second point is basically reiterating the first, again be aware of your surroundings, but be ready to defend yourself at any time or place.  Also, a man would not think twice about a dark alley if it's a shorter route to the destination.

3.  This point is actually quite similar, but more aggressive.  A man would wish to appear to WANT a confrontation to prove he is stronger than the predator.

4.  This point is not a very large concern for a man, a man would generally welcome being roofied, or at least say he would lol.

5.  Referring again to points 1 and 2, a man would simply rather confront/fight an attacker.

6.  Again, this is best handled by being ready to defend yourself.

7.  Clothes tips... a man generally doesn't care how their clothes appear unless they're expensive, clothes are utilitarian and little more.

8.  Walking as a man is rather simple: speed.  lol  The primary concern is to get to the destination as quickly as possible.

9.  Carrying things... as I understand the transition process for the guys, you will be gaining muscle mass in the upper chest and arms, so heavy loads go up top.  Carry on the shoulder for balance.  Get a friend if it's over 100 pounds or excessively bulky/awkward, otherwise you should be able to handle it yourself, in fact, offers to help should be rejected, as they are an implied taunt that you CAN'T handle it yourself.

10.  Eye contact.  Males generally don't smile when making eye contact, if you want to be polite when making eye contact with another male, nod, don't smile.  Nodding shows respect, smiling is just odd.

11.  Listening... This is actually not quite true, men do listen to other men, they just tend to not acknowledge that they're listening unless they have a response to something that is said, that being said, sometimes they do tune others out.  Generally this is overlooked unless what's being said is important, in which case the lack of listening should be mildly ridiculed.

12.  Men will generally look away during someone else's comments to indicate that they are either trying to "multitask" or that they genuinely aren't interested, but without trying to insult the speaker.

13.  Hmm, this one is a bit interesting.  Men will compliment each other, but usually when dressed up, which is more uncommon, and usually associated with dating.  Interestingly enough, both genders seem to enjoy complimenting shoe choices, but men usually don't have as many pairs.

14.  There are 2 acceptable emotions for a man to show:  anger and amusement.

15.  Pockets, pockets and more pockets, if you have too many things to fit in your pockets, either get more pockets or carry a backpack.

I think that's the major points that he raised in his post for us, feel free to leave questions, and I'll do my best to answer them.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Ryuichi13]

Wow, Sarah1979, thanks so much for starting this thread!  To be fair, I feel we should link to the original thread as well as post here, so I'll be happy to do so for everyone, in case we can share back and forth.


https://r.tapatalk.com/shareLink?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Esusans%2Eorg%2Fforums%2Findex%2Ephp%3Ftopic%3D228377%2E0&share_tid=228377&share_fid=50490&share_type=t

Also, thanks for the idea of learning a sport.  Even though my American football team's not so great, I know some about them since I follow their scores via google.  Somewhat luckily for me, I no longer live in my home state, so I don't have to talk about sports very much.  But its still a great idea!

Taking an idea from the original thread, I know that men go to the bathroom alone.  Its weird when a group of men go together. 

When standing or sitting, men literally seem to try to take up as much space as possible.  I'm sure many of us FTM men have heard the term "manspreading."  Stand with your legs at lest shoulder-width apart, and either put your hands in your pockets or cross your arms, possibly while wearing a serious expression.  Also, leaning against a wall while doing so is acceptable.

If I think of other things that men do, I'll add them.  Hopefully, others will add to this thread.

Ryuichi

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[Sarah1979]

Wow, Sarah1979, thanks so much for starting this thread!  To be fair, I feel we should link to the original thread as well as post here, so I'll be happy to do so for everyone, in case we can share back and forth.

https://r.tapatalk.com/shareLink?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Esusans%2Eorg%2Fforums%2Findex%2Ephp%3Ftopic%3D228377%2E0&share_tid=228377&share_fid=50490&share_type=t

Being Socialized Female 101

Also, thanks for the idea of learning a sport.  Even though my American football team's not so great, I know some about them since I follow their scores via google.  Somewhat luckily for me, I no longer live in my home state, so I don't have to talk about sports very much.  But its still a great idea!

Taking an idea from the original thread, I know that men go to the bathroom alone.  Its weird when a group of men go together. 

When standing or sitting, men literally seem to try to take up as much space as possible.  I'm sure many of us FTM men have heard the term "manspreading."  Stand with your legs at lest shoulder-width apart, and either put your hands in your pockets or cross your arms, possibly while wearing a serious expression.  Also, leaning against a wall while doing so is acceptable.

If I think of other things that men do, I'll add them.  Hopefully, others will add to this thread.

Ryuichi

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Very true, men do not go to the bathroom in groups unless the urge happens to hit at the same time purely coincidentally. 

"Manspreading" is not so much trying to take up as much room as possible, but generally simply seeking comfort.

The point about learning a sport is the social aspect of it, I didn't mean just to learn your team, most of the men I see talking about sports know ALL the teams no matter where they're from.  Their knowledge of the sport is incredibly detailed to the point where some of them will be following players from high schools.

And thanks for linking back to the original thread, I should have thought of that

Hugs,

Sarah

[KathyLauren]

13.  Hmm, this one is a bit interesting.  Men will compliment each other, but usually when dressed up, which is more uncommon, and usually associated with dating.  Interestingly enough, both genders seem to enjoy complimenting shoe choices, but men usually don't have as many pairs.

Male-male compliments should be slightly insulting.  "Well you cleaned up not too badly."  is an appropriate guy compliment.

[KathyLauren]

Oh, just thought of another one...

When guys say good-bye to one another, it's not a long, drawn-out affair.  You say good-bye, shake hands or slap their back or avoid physical contact as appropriate, and then walk out the door without looking back.

[Ryuichi13]

Very true, men do not go to the bathroom in groups unless the urge happens to hit at the same time purely coincidentally. 

"Manspreading" is not so much trying to take up as much room as possible, but generally simply seeking comfort.

The point about learning a sport is the social aspect of it, I didn't mean just to learn your team, most of the men I see talking about sports know ALL the teams no matter where they're from.  Their knowledge of the sport is incredibly detailed to the point where some of them will be following players from high schools.

And thanks for linking back to the original thread, I should have thought of that

Hugs,

Sarah

Oh, its cool, I figured that we all could trade "secrets" that we have learned. [emoji16]

Also, I noticed that men don't normally use emoji when texting or in non-trans forums, unless its to laugh or make some kind of sexual inunendo towards a partner.  I could be wrong about this, but its what I've seen.

Ryuichi

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[Ryuichi13]

Oh, just thought of another one...

When guys say good-bye to one another, it's not a long, drawn-out affair.  You say good-bye, shake hands or slap their back or avoid physical contact as appropriate, and then walk out the door without looking back.

I've also seen fistbumping as a way to say goodbye, as well as a "later, man."

Ryuichi

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[Sarah1979]

Oh, its cool, I figured that we all could trade "secrets" that we have learned. [emoji16]

Also, I noticed that men don't normally use emoji when texting or in non-trans forums, unless its to laugh or make some kind of sexual inunendo towards a partner.  I could be wrong about this, but its what I've seen.

Ryuichi

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Absolutely, for us, most of this was practically pounded(sometimes literally) into our heads, might as well help someone.

As far as emojis in texts would go, the general principle would be to save time, so if the emoji would get the point across in less time, then yes use it, otherwise its just wasted time.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Sarah1979]

 Oops, forgot the main exception to number 14: intense grief at the death of a loved one.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Virginia]

I like being a guy BECAUSE there is so much latitude in how we are able to express ourselves. I suppose my female alter would say the same about being a woman. Each of our ability to walk through our respective worlds without question of our genders, we have the subtleties of falling within the norm of society's expectations for men and women down pretty well. A few thoughts:

If you don't have a sport you like watching, PICK ONE!

Without a doubt, a common male interest is a good source of conversation- brewing beer, grilling, working out, cars (repair, restoration, automobilia, racing), fishing/hunting, woodworking, coin/stamp collecting, photography, scotch or cigars, sports...the list goes on. Find the one that is right for you rather than becoming something you are not.

Men will generally look away during someone else's comments

My experience if that this an indication of our deep attention to what the speaker is saying.

When guys say good-bye to one another, it's not a long, drawn-out affair.  You say good-bye, shake hands or slap their back or avoid physical contact as appropriate, and then walk out the door without looking back.

It's very subtle and depends on the level of intimacy between the men. I have never seen any men outside father and son who kiss as women often do, but a lingering handshake coupled with an intentional look in the eye or firm single arm hug are typical between close friends who haven't seen each other for some time.

More Male 101:
-"Good Morning" or "Have a good one" is fine but the norm is to say nothing at all to the guy in the urinal next to you. Eye contact is generally seen as...creepy. Acting outside these norms will generally be perceived as a homosexual advance by a cisgender man. Depending on your sexual orientation and intentions this is particularly important to keep in mind.

-Men tend to hold their cigarettes low, between the first and second joints of the index and middle fingers, versus holding it between the second and third joints as many women do (another adaptation to avoid messing their makeup).

-There tends to be a tremendous amount of posturing during conversations with another man and competition to have the "last word." It's often difficult for an outsider to tell whether they are arguing. "The louder a man gets the righter he thinks he is," a stark contrast to women who raise the pitch of their voice for emphasis. We also tend to increase the space we are taking up as a way of establishing authority over another person, particularly in a discussion with another man.

-Men tend to have poor posture and lack social grace. We stand with rounded shoulders, slump in ourchairs and walk forward leaning with our gaze towards the ground. The mouth tends to be brought to food in an animal like manner by leaning forward when eating rather than bringing the food to the mouth.

-It is the norm to argue over which of you is going to pick up the tab at a restaurant or bar. I see this as a combination of wanting to do something nice for a friend and making it clear you are successful enough to do so. It is commonly expected to alternate who pays the check the next time the two of you are together.

-We were somehow left out of the "Me Too" movement when 1 in 6 men are sexually abused before the age of 18, versus the 1 in 4 women who suffer similar abuse. There is an expectation for us to ignore the feelings that come with having been sexually assaulted, by a man or a woman, and being told by other men to consider themself "lucky" to have had a woman forced herself on them. This often results in transgender or sexual confusion, crime or substance abuse as an outlet for a man's feelings and their inability to express the "whole person."

[RabbitSpectre]

Sarah, I mean this with the greatest respect and appreciation for you, girl, but a selection of these are very stereotypical, and limited I think to the 'chest-thumping' male American stereotype. ^^ Maybe something a bit more comprehensive and less restricted to that would be of better use to the wider community.

[Sarah1979]

Sarah, I mean this with the greatest respect and appreciation for you, girl, but a selection of these are very stereotypical, and limited I think to the 'chest-thumping' male American stereotype. ^^ Maybe something a bit more comprehensive and less restricted to that would be of better use to the wider community.

I was responding to a request to add what I have been taught how to socialize with males.   If you have a different experience, by all means feel free to add to the conversation.

[HappyMoni]

Thanks Sarah,
   I see this a rough guide lines for a F to M guy who might need some tips rather than hard and fast rules.

   I think a lot of straight guys 'man things up' perhaps to an extreme because if they are too soft or gentle with other guys they might be perceived as gay. In my day, that was a big fear for guys. Look too long at a guy you pass on the street and red flags can go up. Best to say a quick "Hey" or "What's up?" Homophobia is big in the guys world from my experience. Don't dare show a 'limp' wrist.

   Is this the thread you were looking for Ryuichi?

   Ideas can also be seen by watching shows like 'Everybody loves Raymond,' the brother interaction. Or '2 1/2 Men.' Allen shows more feminine qualities and is looked at oddly. Charley is seen as the cool macho guy. It all depends what type of guy one wants to be I guess. Being like Charlie is probably the way to fit in without standing out more.

[Virginia]

I think a lot of straight guys 'man things up' perhaps to an extreme because if they are too soft or gentle with other guys they might be perceived as gay...Homophobia is big in the guys world from my experience.

Bingo. Testosterone plays a huge role in a man's life. It's extremely difficult for a cisgender man to satisfy their sexual needs if women perceive them as homosexual.

[Charlene2017]

If you really want to learn "Male Socialization" skills, join a beer league like baseball, touch football, basketball, etc...

The slow-pitch league I belong to is a great example to see what men really like to do and act.  You can watch a guy act all stereotypical when around the other guys during the game and after to begin a totally different man when his wife/girlfriend/friend with benefits is around.  Even said guy will be different when there is a bunch of guys at the table as opposed to when it's just you and him later in the evening.

Leagues offer a mix of the stereotype guys to the regular guys as you will end up with the jocks and those that have a hard time finding first base on a ball diamond.  For our league, it is more about the social time after the game at the local pub.  That is where you learn about what goes on on guy weekends. 

Our league is a 35 and over league which brings out a wide range of men to learn from as you get the old guys set in their ways of what a "real" man is supposed to be and the younger ones that don't really care as long as you don't hit on them.

Even if you don't want to join a league, you can find pubs that most of these teams go to and sit and watch/listen.  Just bring lots of popcorn.

[RabbitSpectre]

Ok, so I've had about 90% of my trans friends be FtM. (talk about a sausage fest! lol see why I need more girls in my life? (If any of you are browsing I adore you, but I need some balance, and you should be helping with this topic! lol)

Your experience is always useful, Sarah, and you have some great points, and I was no way trying to take away from that. I just think male stuff for my generation is much more fluid these days, especially outside of the USA. 

Hopefully between all our collective posts we'll be able able to cover a bit for everyone, from all walks and places! 

So, I'll add some rules I think work well and my friends have done with great success. 

1. The Tough Persona -Typically, the one who puts on the most airs or tries the hardest to seem tough or unaffected by things, is usually seen as the weakest one. There's a difference between being cool and being a braggart or troll, and guys tend to not like much someone who is overboard and find it annoying. Undercutting things or understating them a bit is definitely considered masculine, and guys tend to use less words to share feelings and such things. A long running tradition I think is still valid, is that guys are more about action than talk. The more you are just relaxed and cool, but take positive action towards something when it needs it, the more guys will tend to respect you.

2. Sharing Feelings - Guys these days are more sharing in their feelings, but it's obviously a bit different from women. Guys tend to say less, and summarize a bit, as previously mentioned, and sometimes understate things a bit, though males around them tend to understand by their mannerisms. Some guys will really open up and rant together even, though. When guys are feeling hurt or overly emotional, it's common for them to look away or straight ahead rather than at the person they're talking to more often than usual if that's a trait they have. Guys usually don't say much with guys ssometimes, but will sit or hang with them and listen, as if they don't know what to say, they will usually try to find it first and have a think. Offer feedback and attention that you're listening and thinking, but keep it simple until they've finished completely, and only when it seems like it's a good place to acknowledge.

3. Kind Greetings and Behaviors - Guys who greet good friends or people they're friendly with commonly do a firm hand shake, often followed by a pull-in for a quick half hug. A good firm (but not aggressive) shoulder grab or light slap on the side of the top of the arm and a smile works as well. (This will vary per country) For more casual people, this is usually just a verbal greeting, and a fist pound sometimes or something similar and quicker in contact.

4. Talking! - Talk less, but listen more. I cannot stress enough that summarizing but effectively saying what you want in less words is an excellent trait, so you will see a little repetition. Definitely be engaging in listening and hanging out, but be more chill, and think more before responding. Just be cool as mentioned.

5. Walking and facing - Guys typically don't walk super close to each other unless they're up to something or into each other , but they do turn a bit to face each other and talk, though not all the way, especially when moving. Typically though, this will be much less than girls. Not always, of course, but you'll see it happen.

6. An obvious classic that is already mentioned very validly, is that some guys tend to gestate (use their hands) less in conversation, unless it's really passionate and their imitating something. Still, definitely not the same as girly movements, and if its basic gestation, it is typically lower than girls.

7. Responding to Abrasive Guy Talk - I know you have testosterone flowing through your veins but play it cool. The cool thing to do is keep your composure and confidence but not let people get under your skin.  If it escalates, don't do the stupid chest puffy yelling thing, it just makes you look weak and all talk. Just stand firm with a sarcastic slight smile and show you're ready. If you respond, just be cool and say something calmly like 'Well, I'm right here, and all you're doing is talking, so.' The quieter and confident cool guy is seen as the realer and tougher one. The more you act unarrogant, but like you have nothing to prove, the better and more masculine you'll come across. 

That's all I can think of as a few basic things for now, but I'll controbute more later if I think of anything. Hope this helps!

[HappyMoni]

I lost track if this has been mentioned, if so, sorry. Guys bubbles, personal space are bigger when around others. After transitioning, I had to really adjust to not having to keep so much distance between me and another woman. Trans guys need to give more room to both unfamiliar women and definitely other men. I think this is a biggie!

[Allison S]

I wanna read the rest of these posts because it's kind amsuing to me but I'd like to contribute a bit...

- Handshakes are very important. They havs to be firm and done with confidence. "No limp wrist" applies here...

- talking with hand gesturing is not permitted.

- walking with shoulders swaying and NOT hips and sides, basically be as stiff as possible in your lower body

- sitting with legs spread apart as much as possible

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[jill610]

Couple things, mostly my list of specific behaviors I intentionally got rid of as an MTF. Except the sports thing. I could not be more bored by sports.

1. Posture is different even when it's "good". Women tend not to lean back where guys tend to plant their butt all the way into the seat and lean back.

2. When sitting, unless in a formal setting, things crossed is not normal. Guys tend to go out of their way to give the boys room to breathe, so an Ankle on knee is more typical.

3. A hand on the knee with elbow up is a sign of a man who is engaged in the conversation

4. The sports thing might sound like it's a macho stereotype but it is the norm. We are in fantasy (American) football season now and most offices should be buzzing with that at the water cooler. As mentioned previously, many men are not into sports but that is the exception and that guy usually gets ragged on a bit.

5. Guys are not as physically animated as women and when they are it is very different. Men keep their hands closer to their waist where women typically are higher closer to breast level.

6. Guys take up more space, even when they are physically smaller. This is not necessarily mansoreading, which is kind of taken to the extreme. But the way guys sit and stand does take up more space, which is an assertion of dominance and most of them are unaware that they do it.

7. Guys stand with their feet apart and their weight more on the ball of their feet, as if ready to pounce at any moment. When they walk, they often look like they are leaning forward where women tend to keep their weight more in their heels and walk more upright.

8. When guys walk, they keep their feet about shoulder width and are more square. Their hips tend to stay more parallel to the ground whereas women keep their feet closer together and their hips wobble more.

9. Speech patterns are very,  very different. Men do not usually use descriptors to enhance the sentence. For example a man would say "that's a cute puppy" where a woman might typically say "that is such an adorably cute puppy".

10. Chest resonance is characteristic vs head resonance.  That can easily make up for a higher pitch just like a woman with a lower pitch but forward resonance is usually identified as female on the phone.