Did anyone here have conflicting thoughts on transistioning?

[Rachel]

Hi, I am in Philadelphia and there is a pretty large trans community there. There are 6 or so different trans support groups that I know of or have attended. Perhaps finding several support groups and attending to make a few friends and ask questions. I was so paranoid about going to group at first in male clothing but it was not an issue.

I go to Mazzoni in Philadelphia. Going on HRT is best done medically supervised. There it is informed consent and usually a one month wait after blood work and initial consultation. HRT take months to cause permanent changes (3) and at that the changes are gradual.

I know a they that had GCS, expresses and looks totally female yet goes to the bathroom in the men's room. She get a lot of flack doing so in non-queer spaces. I know a they that sometimes expressed female and sometimes does not shave when they feels male.

Everyone is different and gender is a spectrum.   There are some good books like "My Gender Cookbook" and " The Wiping Girl" and "She is not There".

Every Cis has an opinion about trans that more or less is formulated on TV, church and new Media. They are no help. I recommend to get into community, be yourself or become yourself and be happy. Life is short and gender is innate.

If in mental trouble or confused see a GENDER therapist. Else, see a gender therapist for GCS or procedures if that ever comes to be. 

You can be yourself and be happier or happy or be someone else and be miserable. The choice is yours.

Eventually you may lose your family if you transition but at least give them a chance. In the end everyone loses their family due to the nature of life. Being trans you realize some family was not really there for you to begin with. You can make new family with your new friends.

Rachel

[RobynD]

Yep, we are all different as several have noted here. I did not begin to accept that I have dysphoria until my late 30s and fully accept it until I was in my 40s. Before that, I was identifying as a feminine male.

Transitioning, transitioning plan and or not transitioning are all things we face individually. Hopefully, we get help and support along the way from loved ones or professionals as needed. My transition cost so much in so many ways, but it also returned a lot as well.

I think most of us have thoughts that conflict or sometimes we want things that are not compatible. But be assured, you are not alone in this and the actions you are taking to better understand yourself and your place in the world are really worthy endeavors