So, I had a bar crawl event last night with some friends. It was fun and I got a bit intoxicated.
Anyway, early on in the evening, one of the guys from the group offered to buy me my first drink since this was my first time at this event. I accepted. Later on, another guy offered to pay for me to put a song on the juke box, since he saw me exploring the songs on it. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. Afterwards....... guys buying me drinks or paying for juke box..... were they hitting on me?
This is all new territory for me. From 2011 to about 2014, my boyfriend and I were so inseperable that nobody would show interest in me while I was out because he was there with me. From 2014 until just recently, I was too unkempt or too much of a homebody for it to happen. But now; now I've lost a lot of weight over the past year, going from 320 to about 240, and I've started taking care of myself, buying flattering clothes (it's much easier when the clothes fit better due to weight loss) and even putting on makeup. And I'm getting back confidence and becoming more sociable.
There's still that horrible, self criticizing part of my mind that's firmly convinced nobody would want to hit on some big, hairy, manly man-thing like me, but another part of me is recognizing that the world seems to be seeing me as a woman now and, if I put a little effort into my apperance, a somewhat attractive woman. And it alarms me a little because this is all new territory for me. I feel like..... Before, I never had genuine attraction to coming up to me. I always had to be the one to make the first move. I feel like, in a lot of things, everything is completely flipped around. I don't know how to handle it. How do you know if a guy is actually into you or if he's just being nice and welcoming? And if he is into me, how do I handle it? What do I do about it?
Maybe my biggest worry is my drink itself. I'm mentioning this because way back in 2008 or so, I had a friend who had a roofie slipped into her drink at a club and I get a bit scared because I'm kinda a target for that kind of stunt now. Watching my drink like that was never something I really had to do before. Now? Take my eyes off my drink now and who knows what's going to happen.