What are we?

[Colleen_definitely]

Boobies of course

[Michelle_P]

So... As a couple @Devlyn (who identifies non-binary) and I (98% transfemine) are very happy.

We've been asked on a couple of occasions if we have a label for our relationship. Neither of us does and we're both happy with that.

I'm just curious, what others think and won't be offended by any thoughts or suggestions 

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People in love.
Partners
Significant Others
A Couple

People that balk are always good for a poke or three...
Old lesbian joke: Straight: "Which one's the girl?"  Les:"We both are, that's the point, dear."

[LizK]

So... As a couple

... if we have a label for our relationship.

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Couple? Kinda working for you already

[Alice V]

Though I agree with nunya options, I love puzzles and made some research.
Found that term:
Skoliosexual - Being primarily sexually, romantically, and/or aesthetically attracted to genderqueer, transgender, and/or non-binary people.

Does it label you? Did I even understood matter of discussion correctly?

[Devlyn]

Though I agree with nunya options, I love puzzles and made some research.
Found that term:
Skoliosexual - Being primarily sexually, romantically, and/or aesthetically attracted to genderqueer, transgender, and/or non-binary people.

Does it label you? Did I even understood matter of discussion correctly?

I like that you researched it. The term is, as mentioned in the glossary, problematic as it insinuates "broken". Also, I don't find myself solely attracted to anyone (besides Megan). 

I am attracted to the kind of inner strength I frequently find in trans* people who accept themselves as they are, with no shame or need to hide from the world.

We've seen a lot of mention of labels not being necessary, I wonder how many of those also reject the use of the label "->-bleeped-<-"?

[davina61]

Late to the party as usual , A COUPLE well works for me as does HAPPY.

[HappyMoni]

Amen, (atheist version) I hate the term ->-bleeped-<-. It is unnecessary and derogatory. My humble opinion.

Now are you sure you didn't make up this skeletalsexual thingy?

[Devlyn]

Amen, (atheist version) I hate the term ->-bleeped-<-. It is unnecessary and derogatory. My humble opinion.

Now are you sure you didn't make up this skeletalsexual thingy?

Amen, indeed. Thank you for your reply.

[Alice V]

I like that you researched it. The term is, as mentioned in the glossary, problematic as it insinuates "broken". Also, I don't find myself solely attracted to anyone (besides Megan). 

I am attracted to the kind of inner strength I frequently find in trans* people who accept themselves as they are, with no shame or need to hide from the world.

We've seen a lot of mention of labels not being necessary, I wonder how many of those also reject the use of the label "->-bleeped-<-"?

Dunno a thing about "->-bleeped-<-" stuff. Trying to search it leads me to clothing, Toyota and some kind of spiritual relationships (and if you meant last one I should cut myself from discussion lol).

Can you give me link to that glossary to prevent me from making such mistakes in future?

Probably I might got entire point of this thread wrong. In such context Megan gave in first post I decided that you need a word to describe relationships between two non-binary persons. I mean, let's say we have two abstract men in love. In most cases it doesn't matter if they only attracted to each other, or attracted to some kind of inner power, or one of them might be bisexual (or anything else dammit that stuff became complicated) or transman, it matter that two (or more, I suppose) men in love with each other which labels their relationships (not orientation) as gay. In your case I just tried to find such word for two exact non-binary persons who in love with each other.

[jkredman]

Going back to the original question:

Since the English language often doesn't have words to accurately describe the truth...  And with no better options; I'll go for:

"Close friends with deep and important benefits - to us!!!!!"

What I, Kate, or anyone else may think, doesn't matter.   What matters is your answer to a very simple question:   "Are you 2 happy?"

If the answer is yes, then <not allowed> the rest of the world.

My wife & I have had some very nasty fights.  After it was said and done, we still love each other and are working to maintain our relationship - fully understanding that neither of us ever dreamed, when we committed to 'for better or worse;' Keith would ultimately lose his internal battle with Kate!!!!

Devlyn & Megan:

What the rest of us think, if you 2 are happy, doesn't <not allowed> matter.  I will add, please quit wondering what we may think.  I'll tell you we're too worried about what you think about us.

Silly, and Stupid; isn't it??
Kate


< Edited by moderator.  Profanity is not allowed >

[jkredman]

Actually, I'm going to add:

The fact that the two of you have a relationship that is strong enough to motivate you to ask the question is a BLESSING!!!!

Please take a moment to count your blessings:  Enjoy them!!!!!


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[Mx London]

Ive always just used "partner" or "significant other" to refer to my partner (he's a hetro cis male) as I find the term boyfriend really cringy and sounds temporary.

He does the same when speaking about me (I'm genderfluid but even before I knew found the word girlfriend as awful as boyfriend).

I don't think the label is important per se but it's something that I have spoken about with my partner as technically he can't be hetro if involved with me. He's suggested that makes him "Mx London"osexual instead.

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[Kylo]

Personally I always thought that a relationship between two humans finds names and labels wanting.

[Jessica_Rose]

Nah, we fight like cats and dogs, Happy Couple is way out! 

...yet Megan says you are a happy couple. My wife and I call a relationship like that 'marriage'! Keeping it simple I would just say you are a couple, or that you are partners in life. If the question is 'how would you describe your relationship?' I think 'happy' should be sufficient. Everyone on this site has experienced hardships of some sort, and we all deserve to find happiness at some time in our lives. I wish both of you a long and happy life together.

[Devlyn]

I think the question is actually "What orientation are you?"

I don't think it's a matter where people need to be told to mind their own business, it's coming from friends, and in the case that resulted in this topic, a group of medical students on the cusp of becoming doctors.

[Alice V]

I believe you didn't gave people enough data to work with this question, put aside that from the beginning it was question about label for relationships and not for sexual orientation. In your case, I believe it might be pansexual. Thing is, you really should listen to yourself and answer who really attracting you.

[Devlyn]

Right. That wasn't the issue at all. We have difficulty even describing our own relationship. When a curious person says that two men in a relationship are gay, and two women in a relationship are lesbians, so what does that make you, a neat one-word answer would be convenient. Yes, I know I don't owe that to the world. Yes, I know no one has a god-given right to an answer. In this case it was curious medical students in a teaching hospital, on a panel designed to give them insight on treating transgender and gender nonconforming people. It would have been nice to give them an answer, rather than shrug and say "We're not sure, either." 

[Megan.]

Devlyn is totally right. If we're not in a Lesbian relationship, not in a Gay/Homosexual relationship and not in a Heterosexual relationship, does any other single word exist - seemingly not...

My OP was asking exactly this question, and as I'm keen to educate others I was simply account if a term already exists that I want aware of.

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[Cindy]

I was in two minds about posting this but I think that it is important.

At a recent Emergency intake for Rebecca I was with her and was asked in the ER 'who are you and what relationship are you?'  I explained (see below it wasn't that simple!) that Rebecca and I were partners, I was her husband (blank look) her wife (blank but quizzical) her spouse (light bulbs started to blink on and realisation dawning), I could see mental wheels turning and I knew that a question of legal decision was coming up. I explained that we were legally married and that I had Legal Right of Medical Attorney. There was a figurative sigh of relief all around and I was 'allowed' to be with her and to make clinical decision about her care.

There was no concern about marriage equality, there was concern about legality of decision making. I was of an opinion that if I had been a male of my age with her at that time I would not have been asked if I was her husband, it would have been accepted as the 'traditional' relationship and hence allowed to accompany her without question. That we were a same sex couple was not an issue but once you fall out of tradition, questions can be raised.

Of course none of this was helped by not being able to vocalise as in my distress my voice valve blocked, so I was writing  'husband' 'wife' 'partner' etc on scrap paper and holding it up.

I know that we never wish to discuss the horror things that can happen in the wink of an eye but I do think that it is very important for every couple to have discussion about 'what if', maybe then it acts like a voodoo doll and draws horror away from you.

My apologies if this is not relevant.

[Megan.]

I was in two minds about posting this but I think that it is important.

At a recent Emergency intake for Rebecca I was with her and was asked in the ER 'who are you and what relationship are you?'  I explained (see below it wasn't that simple!) that Rebecca and I were partners, I was her husband (blank look) her wife (blank but quizzical) her spouse (light bulbs started to blink on and realisation dawning), I could see mental wheels turning and I knew that a question of legal decision was coming up. I explained that we were legally married and that I had Legal Right of Medical Attorney. There was a figurative sigh of relief all around and I was 'allowed' to be with her and to make clinical decision about her care.

There was no concern about marriage equality, there was concern about legality of decision making. I was of an opinion that if I had been a male of my age with her at that time I would not have been asked if I was her husband, it would have been accepted as the 'traditional' relationship and hence allowed to accompany her without question. That we were a same sex couple was not an issue but once you fall out of tradition, questions can be raised.

Of course none of this was helped by not being able to vocalise as in my distress my voice valve blocked, so I was writing  'husband' 'wife' 'partner' etc on scrap paper and holding it up.

I know that we never wish to discuss the horror things that can happen in the wink of an eye but I do think that it is very important for every couple to have discussion about 'what if', maybe then it acts like a voodoo doll and draws horror away from you.

My apologies if this is not relevant.

Cindy, a great/sad example of why better words more generally understood would certainly help.

As always, language has its limitations in covering the full spectrum of reality - but, we can create new terms,  and perhaps this is a moment where that needs to happen. X

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