What are we?

[Linde]

Here I am sitting trying to digest what I learned today at my psychology session, and I am kind of confused.

I always was of the opinion that I was a hetero, cis man.  Now I know that I was not! But what was I, was I ever a cis man, I know that I was not transgender, at least not to my knowledge.  But intergender is not really existing, was I just an It?  And if my psychologist is correct with her opinion that I was always more female than male, I was not even hetero but gay!  A cis looking man who is a lesbian, how does that sound?

And the next question is, am I transgender now?  I know that I want to be a female, with a vagina and all the bits and pieces, but if I was always mostly female, I would not really change my gender, but just the bits and pieces to go with it.

That would mean I am not transgender only gender corrective or something like this.

Has anybody ever come up with a classification for us people who don't know who they are?

[Megan.]

It's really quite simple, you are you; any label will be a compromise.

Don't overthink this, it's a bottomless hole of unfathomable doubt.

Just find your happy and be there in the moment. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[Donica]

I agree. Some times we spent so much time over analyzing things that we forget to stop and enjoy the ride.

[Kirsteneklund7]

 For a lot of us we are physically CIS. In utero the standard developmental process was not complete - leaving us without a firm gender identity or an identity inverse to our normal body. In my life I have never been able to categorically state I am male or I am female.

Hope this doesn't add  to the confusion!

  Kind regards, Kirsten.

[Linde]

I think yous guys are right (I lived most of my live in the upper Midwest, and guys is gender neutral there,  you guys is singular, and yous guys is plural), one can overthink everything.  I tend to do this, but I was a medical researcher, and overthinking was part of the job, it is hard to let go of!

[FollowTheFellow]

I know I'm late to the reply-party, but I can really relate to this.

I've always thought of myself as a "brain in a jar" where my body was really wonky and didn't matter as much as other people made it seem like it should. Basically, I'm allergic to the hormones I was born with (fun) so I've suffered from tons of health problems for years with no one knowing what the problem was. Someone finally figured out it was a hormone thing and I went on T and BAM! I'm a functioning human.

I do strongly suspect there's something chromosomal going on there. So was I always both/neither/a dude running on the wrong hormonal "fuel?" Who knows!

But I'm still ME. And you're still you. I've always loved the idea of being androgyne anyhow because it fit. But regardless of language, that fact that you ARE is all the validation you need. To exist, and thrive, and live to tell the tale is the meaning of it all, so we've already won. :-)

Hope my sleepy pontification makes any sense at all.

Al

[Michelle_P]

These are all almost arbitrary labels, set by cultural convention, and representing boxes that others would choose to sort us into.

Gender identity alone has an almost infinite set of values, and 'male' and 'female' merely represent two points in a three dimensional (or larger!) space with degrees of masculinity and femininity, degrees of intensity, and degrees of 'otherness', neither male or female but still a specific sense of genders.

We each of us determine our own identity, including gender, orientation, presentation and role, and as no other person shares our internal experience, no other may assign or declare our own identity.

(Yes, I'm writing an article on this...)

[Marcie237]

yes, infinite, in a society that tries to insist on there being only 2.
As an embryo, we all start out female.
Differentiation occurs in the 7-11 week of gestation totally (well, mostly - there's gnetics and stuff) depending on the hormones that happen to be present in the mother's body - which in turn depends on a million things. This affects the form of your body, and the flow of your brain.

To me a much more important question might be "what do you want to be"? or rather, "what do you feel you are"? Others will try to define you - put you in a box - mostly to make themselves feel safe, or okay, or normal.

Everyone is different, yet in very early schooling, they are told to be the same.

Nurture your confusion, your individuality!!!

I think finding oneself is a lifelong expedition.  I seek to find enjoyment/pleasure in it.