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I Know That They Will Find Out Eventually

Started by Jenna92, November 06, 2018, 01:57:58 PM

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Jenna92

I know that my family will find out eventually that I'm a transwoman and that I'm in serious relationship with a man, but I haven't been able to get the courage to tell them the truth about my life. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell them the truth yet. I need advice on how to tell my family the truth.
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Northern Star Girl

Quote from: Jenna92 on November 06, 2018, 01:57:58 PM
I know that my family will find out eventually that I'm a transwoman and that I'm in serious relationship with a man, but I haven't been able to get the courage to tell them the truth about my life. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell them the truth yet. I need advice on how to tell my family the truth.

@Jenna92
I wish I had  "one size fits all" advice for you. 
Basically for most coming-out scenarios one must walk a metaphoric tight rope of sorts...  between being completely honest...  and being considerate of other's feelings...  and job and relationship ramifications.   

A range of emotions is in play and can be different in regards to who you make the announcement to.   Spouse, Family members, extended family, Job and co-workers, friends and acquaintances...  of course those might have to be handled a little differently from each other.

Do know that each time that you do come-out that it tends to get easier each time in future announcements.

My best advice is to take some time to read over many of the posts and threads here on the forums to find out what others that may be in your situation have done or are doing.

Especially with dealing with your family members, no matter what their reaction, you need to remain calm and considerate... this can be a hot-button issues for sure... and getting angry and saying things that you may regret later is not a good way to go.   They will always be your family.

Best wishes to you,
Danielle

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Jenna92

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 06, 2018, 02:29:38 PM
@Jenna92
I wish I had  "one size fits all" advice for you. 
Basically for most coming-out scenarios one must walk a metaphoric tight rope of sorts...  between being completely honest...  and being considerate of other's feelings...  and job and relationship ramifications.   

A range of emotions is in play and can be different in regards to who you make the announcement to.   Spouse, Family members, extended family, Job and co-workers, friends and acquaintances...  of course those might have to be handled a little differently from each other.

Do know that each time that you do come-out that it tends to get easier each time in future announcements.

My best advice is to take some time to read over many of the posts and threads here on the forums to find out what others that may be in your situation have done or are doing.

Especially with dealing with your family members, no matter what their reaction, you need to remain calm and considerate... this can be a hot-button issues for sure... and getting angry and saying things that you may regret later is not a good way to go.   They will always be your family.

Best wishes to you,
Danielle
I just want to say thank you for the good advice.
  •  

Northern Star Girl

Quote from: Jenna92 on November 06, 2018, 10:44:51 PM
I just want to say thank you for the good advice.

@Jenna92
Please keep us all updated regarding your coming-out results... we are here to rejoice with you in the good reports and we have an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on in the not so good reports
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
****Help support this website by:
Subscribing !     and/or by    Donating !

❤️❤️❤️  Check out my Personal Blog Threads below
to read more details about me and my life.
  ❤️❤️❤️
             (Click Links below):  [Oldest first]
  Aspiringperson is now Alaskan Danielle    
           I am the Hunted Prey : Danielle's Chronicles    
                  A New Chapter: Alaskan Danielle's Chronicles    
                             Danielle's Continuing Life Adventures
I started HRT March 2015 and
I've been Full-Time since December 2016.
I love living in a small town in Alaska
I am 45 years old and Single

        Email:  --->  alaskandanielle@
                             yahoo.com
  •  

Johnni Gyrl

I don't think you should tell them about both things at the same time, that could be new info overload. It might be better to break it down and tell them about being transgender first, then the relationship afterwards. I'm no expert and 'coming out' will be different for everyone, depending on your personal circumstances. There's some general guidance info out there on possible approaches and on the links pages here too.

Good luck!

xoxo
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Jessica_Rose

Quote from: Johnni Gyrl on November 07, 2018, 05:26:47 AM
I don't think you should tell them about both things at the same time, that could be new info overload. It might be better to break it down and tell them about being transgender first, then the relationship afterwards. I'm no expert and 'coming out' will be different for everyone, depending on your personal circumstances. There's some general guidance info out there on possible approaches and on the links pages here too.

This is excellent advice!!! Although coming out to them is a huge step, make the steps as small as possible. It is easier to take in big news one small bite at a time, with a delay between each bite to allow some digestion to occur. Just tell them the facts and stay calm, don't raise your voice or get angry. Be soft yet confident. You have already made your decision, and you know where your life is headed. Let them know how much happier you are -- doesn't every parent want their children to be happy?
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