Quote from: warlockmaker on December 09, 2018, 01:30:14 AM
Passing is not just the way you look its your total presentation. When you have lived as a female full time, for a long enough time, you will behave like a female and feel confident you are one. This confidence eminates and using the female facilities will be natural. If you still question yourself then you are not ready and using the female facilities is not the nice thing to do. We need to win friends not make enemies.
As someone who is publicly presenting as a woman around 90% of the time, (but have only been doing so for 2 weeks) I feel like I am at the point of no longer being able to go into the men's. It is simply is not appropriate, and I no longer feel safe doing so.
But the women's restroom scares me too. I like to think I can pass, (at the very least it is clear I am trying to look like the woman I am) but there are days when the ugly 5 o'clock shadow makes an appearance or something else affects my confidence.
To date, I have 2 strategies to cope with this.
a. Be careful with my drinking, and not need to go until I am home.
b. Seek out a disabled/unisex toilet.
Thinking I need to be considerate of others feelings I totally get, but it is also a huge burden and responsibility to worry about what other people think, when I just want to do what I need to do.
Seeking out a disabled/unisex toilet makes me sad as I furtively try to find a restroom I can feel comfortable using.
Going into the disabled toilet, I also think I am drawing attention to myself.
The thought that somehow my internal confidence is a measure of whether I am ready to use the Ladies, and until then, I don't fit anywhere doesn't seem right.I understand where you are coming from
warlockmaker, but you seem to be saying that unless I know there will be a disabled/unisex toilet, then until I have "lived as a female full time, for a long enough time" dressing androgenously and using the men's is what I need to do.
That just makes me want to cry.
I feel like I am just venting right now and there is no point being made. Other than being trans sucks.
~Dee